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Just want a bit of advice.
A certain girl was put forward to me. The Rav of my shul and my Rav checked it out and both said what a great girl she is. The shul Rav was quite keen for me to go out with her and because my Rav was keen for me to go out with her I did.
However I was a bit skeptical about this girl, whilst she sounded great in most ways, her personality didn’t seem what I am looking for. Nonetheless I agreed to go out with her because you never know what might be. Upon doing so I agreed with both Rabbanim that I would give her a fair shot and go on at least 2 dates, because you never know, someone may be nervous on the 1st date e.t.c.
I went out with her and we chatted for 2 hours, however fairly quickly it was obvious to me that she is not for me, despite being a lovely girl, for the reasons above.
The question is do I need to go on a 2nd date has promised even though I know there is no chacne of me marrying her. On the one hand I gave my word, on the other it would be a waste of both of our times`?
If you really don’t think she is the one for you then I don’t think you should go out a second time. Why waste her time and yours? hatzlocha rabba and may you meet the right soon at the right time.
What makes you believe she is going to say yes to another date? She might have also felt that you are not right for her?
If she says “yes” then you should go again because you don’t always see everything you need to see the first time. So she might have seen something you missed or your Rabbonim, might have seen something that you might have missed.
Be Mattir neder
Did she want to go out again?
I’m voting for a second date. I think the two date thing was made for a situation like this. Could it be that she really was nervous for whatever reason and she came off as different than she actually is? IMO sometimes people make up their mind if its for them before they even meet, I don’t know that that happened here, just tossing it out there.
Hatzlacha
To whom did you make this promise? If to your Rav, you can explain why she isnt for you. If you promised her, than I would be hesitant to say no.
what did she say about you. why are you so sure that shes ready to go out with you again?
If you made a commitment to two dates you have to keep your word. You do not have to spend a lot of money, but you must treat the girl with dignity and respect.
By the way there are many married couples today, that one party or another did not want to go out again after a first date, and for one reason or another they did, so do not jump to conclusions.
111111
I’m with you on this ONE (no pun intended…)
I agree with 111111 – you committed to a second date, you gotta go out with her. U never know – it may be the one! My bro in law is in shidduchim. He just had the same situation. It was a dead end, but at least he looked like a mentch to the girl, the shadchan… hatzlocha, its not easy…
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