Home › Forums › Shidduchim › Shidduch Segullah!
- This topic has 399 replies, 73 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 1 month ago by ☕ DaasYochid ☕.
February 19, 2009 3:58 pm at 3:58 pm #589433
Does anyone know a Segullah for a GOOD ZIVIG! to be mispallel to get a GOOD THING?
Please post if yes,
Thank You,February 19, 2009 6:05 pm at 6:05 pm #1150372JayMatt19Participant
4. Davening at AmukaFebruary 19, 2009 6:11 pm at 6:11 pm #1150373feivelParticipant
daven with your whole heart to find YOUR beshert over and over, in your own words.
do not ask for particular details, leave that to the One that is in charge of everything.
that’s the best, tried and tested segulahFebruary 19, 2009 6:12 pm at 6:12 pm #1150374kiruvwifeMember
Daven for someone else that needs the same thing.
The best segulah is to just be a true eved Hashem, do what Hashem wants, and daven from the depths of your heart.February 19, 2009 6:25 pm at 6:25 pm #1150375Mayan_DvashParticipant
Kiddush Levana (coming up soon) have in mind someone who needs a Shidduch.;February 19, 2009 6:31 pm at 6:31 pm #1150376
thanks, e/o i am davening and have full bituchin that hashem will do the best for me, But i thought maybe there is a special tefillah for a good zivug… i guess ill stick to davening… never enough!February 19, 2009 6:49 pm at 6:49 pm #1150377DebbyMember
Learn 2 hilchos of loshon hora every day in the zchus of finding your bashert ,(heard this from Rebitzen Kanievsky)
Daven & truly belive in hashem that he will send you your bashert!! This thought really help me get through shidduchim life. Every time i felt like i hit a dead end i just thought of hashem & remebered that he’ll one day eventually send me my bashert which he surely did!!
Hatzlacha Raba!! We all know that it’s hard being single!February 19, 2009 6:56 pm at 6:56 pm #1150378oomisParticipant
Davening for someone else in need of a shidduch, by name, is a good segulah for hashem answering you first.February 19, 2009 7:07 pm at 7:07 pm #1150379yossieaParticipant
Go out on a date.February 19, 2009 7:09 pm at 7:09 pm #1150380myshadowMember
When I saw the heading of this thread I was apprehensive a little cuz I had a teacher in seminary who hocked against the concept of “segulos,” but gota say people I’m impressed!! Davening definately is the BEST segula out there!!February 19, 2009 7:18 pm at 7:18 pm #1150381
oomis, if you’re doing it so that you’ll be answered, i doubt it will “work.” i’m sure hashem can see through that.
but yeh, i guess if you’re really sincere it would be ok.February 19, 2009 7:28 pm at 7:28 pm #1150382
er, moish, no. Don’t worry about faking out Hashem. I don’t think you get more points for doing nothing than you do for faking.February 19, 2009 7:46 pm at 7:46 pm #1150383JotharMember
3. Mussar and self-improvement, making you worthy of getting married.February 19, 2009 8:03 pm at 8:03 pm #1150384
yossiea – good one.
I once saw an upcoming lecture advertised in the newspapers, titled “What are you doing for the shidduch crisis?”
My answer: dating
But yes, gotta agree with everyone else, daven!February 19, 2009 8:20 pm at 8:20 pm #1150385aziParticipant
how do you know if God accepts incensere tefillos or not. if your point is correct then most of everything we do would be worhtless. its kind of like when everyone closes their eyes when they get an aliya. all of a sudden everyone is a huge tzadik who’s eyes role into the back of their heads when making a brocha. Mitoch shlo lishma ba lishma.February 19, 2009 8:22 pm at 8:22 pm #1150386
There is a specific tefilla- can’t exactly print the entire thing here and don’t have with me now. Maybe I can scan it to a mod & they can email it to you. Will try this tomorrow IY”H.
feivel- how to daven to Hashem is a mochlokes, with details or without. This particular tefilla is very specific, but applies to all. It basically lists all good traits anybody could want in a spouse (and I’m not the one that made it up).February 19, 2009 8:29 pm at 8:29 pm #1150387
PS- Segulos that a Gadol advised one person to do, does not apply to everybody. If Rebbetzin Kanievski told you to learn 2 halachos- that’s for you. A person can’t say “My friend learned 2 halachos everyday and got engaged. I’m gonna do the same.”. We don’t know what “works”. We need to have bitachon, not make up our own segulos.February 19, 2009 8:41 pm at 8:41 pm #1150388
squeak- that you in here??????February 19, 2009 8:48 pm at 8:48 pm #1150389
squeak, you know how stupid that sounds? let’s fool god. we don’t REALLY care about the other person, but if we daven for them WE’LL get married. so let’s PRETEND. come on. THAT’s what drives me nuts.February 19, 2009 8:51 pm at 8:51 pm #1150390
If you open up an “aneini” it has many different tefillos for specific occasions. There’s a tefillah for a guy to daven for his zivug and there’s one for the girl to daven for her zivug.February 19, 2009 8:52 pm at 8:52 pm #1150391
areivimzehlazeh: I would really appreciate that!!!February 19, 2009 8:56 pm at 8:56 pm #1150392SJSinNYCMember
Also, if you go out with someone who isnt for you, don’t hesitate to set them up with a friend. My sister did this and made a nice, happy shidduch (still married almost ten years later). At least thats an action.February 19, 2009 9:00 pm at 9:00 pm #1150393
moish – what about ???? ??? ?????February 19, 2009 9:10 pm at 9:10 pm #1150395noitallmrParticipant
Wow- I guess there’s nothing more to add here…Daven! Don’t just say the words, mean them tell Hashem how desperate you are to find your true Zivug and build a Bayis Neeman. Maybe make a few Kabolos and donate to Kupat Hair.
Hatzlocho Rabbah…February 19, 2009 9:34 pm at 9:34 pm #1150396
hey backtrack a little. i know that there’s a chazal that says this. i’m not arguing that.
BUT, if you’re davening for the other person, but you’re doing it with selfish intentions that’s not davening for the other person – that’s davening for yourself!
when yitzchok avinu davened for rivka and was answered he was really davening for her – not for himself. that’s where this chazal comes from (i think!)
is that more clear? my point was, if you really have the right intentions – great. but if not you’re being an idiot.February 19, 2009 9:36 pm at 9:36 pm #1150397
come on, moish. You do care about the other guy. You just care about yourself a little bit more. I don’t see why that is stupid. I can think of many examples where you do something for someone else with the intent of benefiting from it. It’s called having an ulterior motive. Would it be better not to help out the other person?
I don’t believe that you are purely selfless yourself.February 19, 2009 10:01 pm at 10:01 pm #1150398yossieaParticipant
And if you want to daven, you can use my formula I posted before:
Just talk to Hashem. Open up and talk.
If you’re shy, then do it at night in your room with the door closed, but talk.February 19, 2009 10:20 pm at 10:20 pm #1150399
‘ulterior motive’ has a negative connotation. I think that thinking of yourself, while at the same time thinking of the other person is not at all a bad thing. Very balanced as a matter of fact.
You can split the thoughts if necessary: you really want the other person to get engaged.
Hashem, I really want to get engaged….
You are being mispalell for the other person as well as davening for yourself. Hopefully, by having the other person in mind you are building zchusim…February 19, 2009 10:23 pm at 10:23 pm #1150400
squeak, of course i’m not. but you can fool another person – you can’t fool god.
you gotta know the tricks in life 😉February 19, 2009 10:25 pm at 10:25 pm #1150401mazal77Participant
I go to Shabbat Berachot parties, and when everyone make a berechah on a Hagefen, we all have in mind, names of people who need to find their marriage partners. We ask Hashem, that they not only find their zivug, but that they are from Invei Hagefen. We also have in mind, people, C’V who are with goyish partners, that they should leave them, and find jewish ones.
Also, parents, start davening for your children from when they are young, that they should find their zivug easily.February 19, 2009 10:37 pm at 10:37 pm #1150402coke not pepsiMember
there is a tefilla, they usually give it out by chupahs and they usually make u give it back but for some reason i have 1 and i try to say itFebruary 19, 2009 11:44 pm at 11:44 pm #1150403
ames- you really struck a raw nerve. After dating for many years and still single I find what you said to be the hardest part of my nisayon with Shidduchim. I will try to work on that area but I know it’s going to be tough.February 20, 2009 12:06 am at 12:06 am #1150404
ames- Thanks! I appreciate that. How about a Bracha? That always helps.
It’s so funny that you even mentioned this idea because last night an acquaintance of mine quite a few years younger than me got engaged and her Vart is tonight and I’m still toying with the idea whether I should go or not.February 20, 2009 12:11 am at 12:11 am #1150405
moish – of course you can’t fool God. But I don’t see any righteousness in not doing a good thing because you refuse to pretend to fool Him. As I said before, I think that faking is worth more than not faking. Do you think you’ll get sechar for saying, “I didn’t pray on his behalf, but at least I didn’t FAKE it like some other people do!”?February 20, 2009 12:23 am at 12:23 am #1150406beaconParticipant
Besides for your regular davening of course, there is an inyan to say Shir Hashirim every day for a shidduch.February 20, 2009 12:29 am at 12:29 am #1150408
ames- AMEN! Thanks! That was beautiful and very touching. It’s always a Chizzuk to know people understand and care.
Also, Chas V’shalom I’m not jealous or down at all. It’s more that I don’t feel anything at all. I don’t know if that makes sense but as I said before I will try to work on it. Thanks for your idea of thinking about Aharon Hakohen. It makes a lot of sense and will definitely try it.February 20, 2009 4:43 am at 4:43 am #1150409asdfghjklParticipant
ames: do i get a bracha too??? seems like mrnoitall’s bracha’s starting to work for me!!!February 20, 2009 4:53 am at 4:53 am #1150410kapustaParticipant
a few points:
AL2 I completely second the bracha. May you, (and everyone else still unmarried) be zoche to meet their true zivug VERY VERY soon and build a bayis ne’eman biyisrael and raise healthy children who are true ovdei Hashem.
areivim (I think it was you) who mentioned that segulos may have been given to specific people. one comment that Shmiras halashon is a pretty safe segula and to my knowledge cant hurt anyone. I’m sure practicing it too, is a good segula.
moish regarding your debate with squeak, the idea of davening for a friend is that you know what they’re going through. if a friend tells you something and you yourself are going through the same challenge, you feel worse for the person. the point you bring bothered me in the past and I’ve come to the conclusion which btw is completely mine that the ahavas yisrael may be what puts it over the top. take the organization Daven for me the idea is based on two people, who dont know each other and it bothers them that there is another jew somewhere in the world who is going through the same thing they are. I dont know how its humanly possible to love someone to the same extent as yourself but you know basically what a person would/wouldn’t want done to them and you know what hurts and what doesnt. if a person knows what its like to date repeatedly and still come back unmarried they know how to cry for themselves and feel the other persons pain bacause they’re experiencing it firsthand.
squeak theres someone else on this board (sorry I forgot which thread) going by the name of anonymouse. would that by any chance be you?February 20, 2009 5:45 pm at 5:45 pm #1150411
kapusta, that i understand. but look at the name of this thread. they’re looking for a segullah to get married.
->anyone have one?
->sure! just pretend you care about the next guy and you’ll be answered first!
then you don’t care about the next guy – you’re just doing it to be answered first!
i never said the whole concept was bogus. i just said that when it’s used as a “tactic” it sounds really stupid. the picture you just painted sounded a lot more sincere. maybe some people on here are really sincere and do really feel for the other person. in that case, go for it.
you chap my point? fakers make me sick. you wanna say ???? ??? ???? ?? ????? great. so when it becomes lishma maybe it’ll “work.”
when yitzchok davened for rivka to have a child i think it says ????? ???? ???? ????, which can be translated as for his wife. he was davening that she should have a child. he was confident that he would eventually have children because of hashem’s promise, but nowhere did it say that the zera would come from rivka. so he was davening 100% for her sake. after that it says ????? ??, that hashem answered him, and that’s where we learn about davening for the other person.
you think it would have “worked” if yitchok was really selfish and doing it for himself?? no, hashem sees through a person and it “worked” because yitzchok was sincerely pained by the fact that rivka had no children.February 20, 2009 6:05 pm at 6:05 pm #1150412
ames- your brocha and advice gave me chills (don’t ask me why). Thanks for sharingFebruary 20, 2009 6:13 pm at 6:13 pm #1150413coke not pepsiMember
nice moishFebruary 20, 2009 6:16 pm at 6:16 pm #1150414
moish- you’re an iluiy- seriously. To retain all that you’ve learned, quote verbatim… don’t let your mind go to waste!!February 20, 2009 6:16 pm at 6:16 pm #1150415YW Moderator-72Participant
APushetaYid – please send me an email and I will forward you the tefila. [email protected]
Thank you.February 20, 2009 6:17 pm at 6:17 pm #1150416kapustaParticipant
moish the whole point of that post was that you do care because it hurts you so much, you dont want them to have to go through the same thing.
and btw, chillFebruary 20, 2009 6:17 pm at 6:17 pm #1150417
mods- I thought you have all our email addresses. Thanks for expediting this transaction!
GOOD SHABBOS!February 20, 2009 6:28 pm at 6:28 pm #1150418
areivim, my mind isn’t wasted. i read encyclopedias, remember? 😉
kapusta, it’s nice to know you’re such a feeling person. not everyone is.
and by the way, when i care about something i can’t chill. part of my anger management problem 😉February 20, 2009 6:42 pm at 6:42 pm #1150419syriansephardiMember
Beacon: u mean perek shira? I though u can only say shir hashirim on friday night by candle lighting time?February 20, 2009 6:48 pm at 6:48 pm #1150420
ames, by the way, the choshen was part of the bigdei kehuna and aron was supposed to get that anyway. it’s the urim v’tumim that he got as reward for being happy in his heart – that was extra.February 20, 2009 7:11 pm at 7:11 pm #1150421kiruvwifeMember
AL2 I third ames’ brocha to you. remember, “al tehi birchas hedyot kal b’aynecha”–also heard variation- get a brocha from the kallah “al tehi birchas kallah hedyot b’aynecha”
May Hashem give you the koach to be b’simcha and to celebrate your simcha b’karov.February 20, 2009 7:57 pm at 7:57 pm #1150422
why do i assume? because it’s natural for a person to be selfish. people who sincerely care about others have worked on it. why do you think the passuk say veahavta lerei’echa kamocha?
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.