shidduch shaila help

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    I have a very important shaila to ask about a shidduch. Does anyone know of a shidduch hotline or a Rabbi to call where I could remain anonymous?

    d a

    Everyone seems to think that The Coffee Room has Smicha. If you can’t get an answer here, try looking it up in one of Rabbi Art Scroll’s many Halacha Seforim.



    If you know of anyone in need of a Shidduch, please refer them to us. Our service is free.

    732 534-4539


    if it’s a lashon haroh question there is a special number for that, but i didn’t have a great experience when i used them. try your local rav they know u best

    yishtabach shemo

    If you want to remain anonymous then its obviously something sensitive that you dont feel close enough to your Rav to discuss. which is unfortunate because most likely as “chesedname” said he knows you best. you should ask someone you trust for a rav that they trust to answer such questions and then you can call anonymously


    If you know information on either person in the shidduch and that is bothering you and you want to know whether to say something or not, you need to discuss it with your own Rav. Some things must be told and some things not. In addition, what you might think is so important might not be seen as a very important issue by a learned Rav experienced in shidduchim or life in general. If that is what this is all about, speak to your Rav and be satisfied with his answer. You have done your job by bringing it to the attention of a Rav who knows the halachas involved. Do not say who the people involved are or that may sway the decision just why you feel it is necessary to share the information and ask the sheilah.

    If you are talking about your own shidduch then speak to your own Rav or Rosh Yeshiva with your concerns or speak to the known “Chassan Rebbe” of the yeshiva who can help you sort out your thoughts and feelings. You can also seek the counsel of a dating coach.


    The dictionary defines a crisis as ” the decisive moment “. The shidduch “crisis” is not a crisis. It is the result of systemic structural issues in the community’s current marriage customs and the way they bump up against economics and other lifestyle choices. It isn’t something which just occurred even though it may only have recently been acknowledged. It is not something which will go away anytime soon, not unless we change the way we do a number of things. A few rabbinical decrees will not change the underlying economics, human nature or any of the other root causes.

    So expect to hear about it for decades to come. It will resolve itself, but that will require significant changes in how we do things, far beyond the scope of this discussion.

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