Shidduchim for singles with mental health issues

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  • #1665139

    Joseph
    Participant

    Are there any shadchanim that help establish shidduchim for boys and girls with moderate mental health issues? Obviously the mitzvah and chiyuv to establish a bayis ne’eman b’yisroel and pru u’rvu applies to all, so we’re not here to debate the modern crowd that tries to dissuade such Bochorim and Bas Yisroels from getting married. Obviously not all health issues are curable, whether a physical or mental health issues, and health issues should not C”V be a reason to remain single all ones life even if it isn’t curable.

    #1665283

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    People with mental health issues shouldn’t marry someone with the same issue. (The same goes for some physical health issues as well. For example, someone with poor vision should marry someone who can see well.)

    #1665290

    Takes2-2tango
    Participant

    Joseph, are internet trolls considered a mental health issue?
    How about someone who is pro beating children?
    Should they be allowed to marry and procreate?

    #1665293

    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Among many questionable topics, this seems to be an issue that is so incredibly fact-situational dependent that I cannot think of any useful general commentary that would be helpful to the parents or family of individuals suffering from such challenges. I would also concur with RY23 that in most cases, these individuals need to be with someone who does not magnify their own issues and instead hopefully find someone who can leverage their strengths. And finally, I would respectfully disagree with Joeseph and submit there are individuals whose issues are so challenging they probably should NOT be encouraged to marry until there is some improvement. In ALL such cases, the advice and extensive input from mental health professionals and the few rabbonim/rebitzens with special training in this area should be sought.

    #1665339

    funnybone
    Participant

    Kreina daaharta ihu lehevai pravanka.
    Sounds like you should become a shadchan…good luck with your divorce rate.

    #1665363

    Joseph
    Participant

    funnybone, a shoita can’t give a Get, so suffice to say I think the divorce rate will be below average.

    #1665392

    anonymous Jew
    Participant

    Which modern crowd discourages these marriages? Joseph, please cite your source

    #1665391

    The little I know
    Participant

    While it is really nice to wish for someone with various limitations to live a normal, married life, it is not always a benefit. There are many with mental illness that cannot manage a home, lacking the management, organizational skills, and maturity to survive. To create a couple that will be permanently dependent on parents and the community is not necessarily a favor to them or anyone else. Obviously, these are individual decisions,, and the general proclamations accomplish little. But it is necessary to spell out the issues so that they can be applied as needed, and rational decisions are made.

    #1665401

    Takes2-2tango
    Participant

    Josephsays:

    funnybone, a shoita can’t give a Get, so suffice to say I think the divorce rate will be below average.
    -_——–_———————————-
    Kiddushin of a shota/shotass is not chal, so why would he / she need a divorce?

    #1665406

    hudi
    Participant

    People with mental health issues or a history of trauma, even mild, should be in therapy and stable before embarking in shidduchim. Unchecked mental health issues in marriage, even if only one partner has issues, is a recipe for disaster. Premarital counseling is also a mist.

    #1665408

    Joseph
    Participant

    Takes2: Who says the kiddushin isn’t chal? As long as they were both aware of the situation prior to the kiddushin it is chal.

    #1665526

    Amil Zola
    Participant

    What are moderate mental health issues? Depression that has been treated, OCD that is being treated, phobias that are being treated, ADHD that is being treated, high functioning people with Autism, eating disorders that are being treated? Can you please clarify.

    #1665579

    Joseph
    Participant

    Amil: Any one of what you cite might be an example.

    #1665684

    Amil Zola
    Participant

    Joseph I asked you first and cited my own examples. Now it’s time for you to discuss and support your own possit.

    #1665693

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Moderate mental health issues=high functioning anything.

    #1667511

    avocado
    Participant

    Maybe they can have moderated marriages- even if no one is directly in the house supervising but there can be a professional involved who they talk to on a regular basis.

    #1668685

    funnybone
    Participant

    Whoa! A shoita?? Is that your definition of moderate mental health issues?

    #1668720

    Joseph
    Participant

    How would you define the halachic status of shoita?

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