June 12, 2011 6:52 am at 6:52 am #597352ShlumielMember
What kind of tips or help is there for someone experiencing a lot of trouble maintaining the proper shmiras einayim?
GROW UP AND GO FOR REAL HELPJune 12, 2011 8:24 am at 8:24 am #776918
Go offline, if that’s where your trouble is.June 12, 2011 11:25 am at 11:25 am #776919am yisrael chaiParticipant
blindfoldsJune 12, 2011 1:41 pm at 1:41 pm #776920shev143Member
Shlumi, we have newspapers that edit out photos of our secretary of state. What more help do you want?June 12, 2011 1:52 pm at 1:52 pm #776921mormatMember
guardyoureyes.orgJune 12, 2011 2:30 pm at 2:30 pm #776922whatrutalkingabtMember
Learn a lot of TorahJune 12, 2011 3:22 pm at 3:22 pm #776923ZeesKiteParticipant
To MOD – the one who MODed above:
I’m a bit surprised. I thought this was a Torah oriented site, Torah ideas, ideals, thoughts, midos tovos, mitzvohs, emotions etc. (of course humor too).
I didn’t think this OP deserved that. His question is a valid one, especially for a site such as this. My very humble opinion.June 12, 2011 3:28 pm at 3:28 pm #776924YW Moderator-42Moderator
ZK, if you saw the other things he tried to post you would understand.
This is either someone who needs serious help or he is a TROLL. Just look at the name he chose.
(And for the record, it was not me who modded that)June 12, 2011 3:34 pm at 3:34 pm #776925ShlumielMember
I posted the other one separately from this since it is related but I wasn’t sure it was okay to ask here even though both are sincere.June 12, 2011 3:47 pm at 3:47 pm #776926IUseBrainsParticipant
Get Married if not already!June 12, 2011 3:55 pm at 3:55 pm #776927Mother in IsraelMember
Shlumiel, check out guardyoureyes.org.June 12, 2011 4:37 pm at 4:37 pm #776928smartcookieMember
IuseBrains- that is the worst advice I ever heard.
Marriage is not a hospital.June 12, 2011 4:50 pm at 4:50 pm #776929
smartcookie, you don’t need a hospital for every problem. This is the advice of Chazal and it takes away a big chunk of the problem for most people (depending on if you got into trouble).June 12, 2011 8:30 pm at 8:30 pm #776930RedNails19Participant
Im enjoying this post immensely
AttL HaLeivi, AYC, Shev143,Mormat,WTRUTA, YW42 (LOL), IUseBrains, & SMCookie- AGREED!!!!
I would say, practically wise- get busy, work on a good/exciting project…and dont get bored..too much time on your hands makes your brain and eyes wander…yup!! GET BUSY!! Cuz its not realistic or logical to walk around with blindfolds or walking down and into trees and poles!!June 12, 2011 10:10 pm at 10:10 pm #776931individualMember
I cannot believe the insensitivity to someone asking for advice. I’m sure that it is a struggle. However, a rebbi/mentor may be a better person to ask than the coffee room, but don’t make fun of someone who wants to do the right thing. whether he was Trolling or not, someone else might have the struggle and will see how other’s react, and not ask. Grown men have nisyanos with what they see too, and guess what, some married men struggle too. I once went to a taharas hamishpacha lecture where it was discussed. It is a real issue. It was the biggest turn-on for me when someone I dated turned away when an extremely untzniosly dressed woman walked past us. I can see how the summer months can pose more problems than usual, but there must be answers. Hashem should help you with this nisayon.
A TAHARAS HAMISHPACHA CLASS OR RAV IS THE RIGHT PLACE FOR THIS QUESTION, THE CR IS NOT.June 12, 2011 10:51 pm at 10:51 pm #776932twistedParticipant
A extra wide brim hat, with the brim turned down. Navigate by the sidewalk directly in front of you. ?Caveat: This is not advisable for crossing streets. The longer you stay in the B M , the less challenges will cross your path. Hatslocho.June 12, 2011 11:20 pm at 11:20 pm #776933flowersParticipant
Did you not read what moderator 42 wrote? ” ZK, if you saw the other things he tried to post you would understand.”
A person in need of real help in this area belongs getting it before he gets married. Marriage will not cure him. And it’s not fair to do that to an innocent girl.June 13, 2011 1:37 am at 1:37 am #776934Pac-ManMember
flowers: You disagree with Chazal?June 13, 2011 4:11 am at 4:11 am #776935a maminParticipant
I thinkthe comment of the newspaper was totally out of line! it got more than enough publicity!!!!June 13, 2011 6:31 am at 6:31 am #776936RABBAIMParticipant
Listen to some shiurim of Rav Avigdor miller ztl on the topic… it’s amazing how it gets into your psyche!June 13, 2011 10:25 am at 10:25 am #776937flowersParticipant
I am not learned enough to know everything chazal say. I do know however, that chazal say a boy should marry young in order not to fall into sin. This refers to normal healthy boys.
Addiction is a sickness, and marriage will NOT cure him. And in fact there unfortunately today there are too many frum men who are addicted and they have wonderful wives, but it doesnt help them.June 13, 2011 1:12 pm at 1:12 pm #776938amichaiParticipant
Is your problem with shmiras einayim, in general, walking down the street, at work, public places? take small steps. you cant change overnight. if at work, try not to mingle. take a sefer with you so when you are waiting for any reason, you can learn.June 13, 2011 3:17 pm at 3:17 pm #776939mewhoParticipant
put a burqua on everyone around youJune 13, 2011 8:52 pm at 8:52 pm #776940
Hi flowers, ur posts literally spelled out my thoughts..
Haleivi- I wonder where u come from that always have such extremely positive views of marriage…June 13, 2011 9:53 pm at 9:53 pm #776941smartcookieMember
S2021- welcome back. I don’t recall seeing you post here the last few weeks.June 13, 2011 10:59 pm at 10:59 pm #776942
Thanks cookJune 14, 2011 1:11 am at 1:11 am #776943
If you haven’t seen a normal marriage than you haven’t seem most. Most people are born with ten toes. Would you argue that? You can not project your experience onto the rest of the world.June 14, 2011 2:42 am at 2:42 am #776944
Your right I should not project my experience onto the rest of the world. But I would like to argue about the toes. Its not that simple. Most ppl are born with ten toes. Most ppl are also born with crooked teeth or imperfect eyesight or large noses or bad breath. Why should it bother someone so much to hear about it? Why do we need to run after these ppl who talk about ther unusually large feet and say SSSSHHH dont say that- most ppl dont have that! I disagree, and where is that getting anyone?June 14, 2011 10:31 pm at 10:31 pm #776945Mother in IsraelMember
Most ppl are also born with crooked teeth
Most people I know were born with no teeth.June 15, 2011 4:35 am at 4:35 am #776946HealthParticipant
MiI – All my teeth came in straight.
E/o is right and e/o is wrong. There are lots of different types of people. So let’s all stop with the generalizations. Some people aren’t addicted and marriage will cure their Taavos. And some have a major addiction and serious mental help is needed before any attempt at marriage. If you’re not sure which catergory you fall into, seek advice from a professional.June 15, 2011 8:22 am at 8:22 am #776947
I never complained about that. However, it does seem to bother you that I brought that up. I apologize.June 15, 2011 7:51 pm at 7:51 pm #776948mewhoParticipant
wear a big hat with a giant brim and you will see less of your surroundings
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