March 24, 2011 4:30 pm at 4:30 pm #595889
singles don’t give up! stay strong! even if someone tells you your too picky or old… don’t give up because that’s your test pass it 100% hashem has his plans and s/t in store for you.
Enjoy the time being as i am haha!March 24, 2011 4:39 pm at 4:39 pm #752480mytakeMember
I really needed to hear that today. Thanks!March 24, 2011 4:46 pm at 4:46 pm #752481adorableParticipant
A little random but thank you for that! we all need to hear that once in a while and remember that there is someone for you out there….March 24, 2011 5:05 pm at 5:05 pm #752482frumsinglegirlMember
Me 2! bigtime!!March 24, 2011 5:05 pm at 5:05 pm #752483
Wasn’t here a story with the Chazon Ish or Steipler, where an older boy came to ask for a brocha for a shidduch and they said that they already rejected their zivug? So I guess people should not be too picky.
Al pi kabalah, there is a zivug and there are also basherts. Hence, you might not marry your zivug, but you could still find your bashert.March 24, 2011 5:24 pm at 5:24 pm #752484
Um, maybe not the greatest thread for your wise words.March 24, 2011 5:24 pm at 5:24 pm #752485
anon: Why not leave this a thread with only posotive?March 24, 2011 5:43 pm at 5:43 pm #752486
Wasn’t there a story without the Chazon Ish or Steipler with this guy who settled and then had a horrible marriage and messy divorce and his kids hate him and aren’t frum?March 24, 2011 6:08 pm at 6:08 pm #752487shimmelMember
Maybe when i’ll be engaged (to a great person) already I’ll be able to say how much this time has helped me grow and shape me into the person i am today.:(
Unfortunately I don’t feel like that today. The shidduch that really sounded promising just fell apart. :(:(March 24, 2011 6:17 pm at 6:17 pm #752488
Sorry to hear that shimmel, very sorry. May you, as well as all the other CR’s who are seeking their shidduch, find it very very soon!March 24, 2011 6:22 pm at 6:22 pm #752489bptParticipant
How’s this for encouagement:
Look at today’s married folks (5+ years)
If they can do it, anyone can!March 24, 2011 6:38 pm at 6:38 pm #752490
True & Sac: This thread is to encourage people not to give up. However, saying that you can be picky because it is a test from hashem is ridiculous! Yes, keep the faith and moral, but please do not think one can be picky and then blame hashem for a lack of a shidduch. It will make people lose their emmunah! Davven and do your hishtadlus and do not give up!March 24, 2011 6:47 pm at 6:47 pm #752491blinkyParticipant
shimmel- That means you are one closer to your zivug!
Bpt- with all due respect i disagree. ppl tend to look at married folks and envy a little their luck. Sometimes its just not the right time for you to get married, its not even a matter of hishtadlus.March 24, 2011 7:04 pm at 7:04 pm #752492mytakeMember
Sorry you’re having a tough day, Shimmel. Hope tomorrow is turns out better for you.
Hope you find your zivug very soon.March 24, 2011 7:11 pm at 7:11 pm #752493shimmelMember
Thank you all for ur wishes! I appreciate it.
Really. But, One closer, yup but who knows how far it really is….March 24, 2011 7:26 pm at 7:26 pm #752494
c’mon let’s go with the positive attitude. I am not saying to be picky. I believe everything is from hashem and he will give everyone in the CR his/her bashert! let’s be happy with whatever the situation is at this point! trust me, whenever it gotta come it will come even if u don’t want! haha 🙂 🙂 🙂March 24, 2011 7:40 pm at 7:40 pm #752495the.nurseMember
Never think you’re too old & you’ll never meet ‘the one’… I B”H just got married a few months ago and I’m 27
Someone is out there for every one of you. Sometimes when you finally meet the right one, you may realize why you had to wait so long.. (you/the other had to mature, you/the other wasn’t on the right religious level, you/the other wasn’t available (divorced/widowed) etc..)
Don’t give up!! Hashem hears all your tefillos!March 24, 2011 8:32 pm at 8:32 pm #752496whatrutalkingabtMember
They should definitely be picky about the important things. Dont ever settle for someone who is on a lower frumkeit level than you wanted.
I once had a screaming match with a man who told me that I’ll never get the guy I’m looking for and I should just marry anyone because nowadays the girls are frummer than the boys so someones gotta settle.
And I said you dont know what youre talking about and I will never settle on that. Maybe on looks, height, family, etc. But not frumkeit and middos.
Mind you, I got engaged to everything I wanted and more 3 months later.March 24, 2011 8:54 pm at 8:54 pm #752497happiestMember
Having a hard couple of days in this department.
Want so much to find my bashert (or zivug or whatever you wanna call him). There is nothing even on the horizon right now, I don’t know who to call since I feel like I’ve called everyone already. I’m going crazy!!!!March 24, 2011 9:04 pm at 9:04 pm #752498bptParticipant
“Sometimes its just not the right time for you to get married, its not even a matter of hishtadlus. “
I know. What I meant was, sometimes it looks as though a person is not married yet is because of “this reason” or “that issue”, when you look (and I mean, really look) at people that are already married, you see that, despite whatever “shortcomings” they might have (and trust me, we ALL have them) we still got married.
In fact, after a few years, those very “shortcomings” turn out to have very little,if any, impact on the day-to-day success of the marraige.
At any rate, considering all the tefilos that were said this Purim, this thread will be looked back on, with a sigh of nostalgia!March 24, 2011 9:21 pm at 9:21 pm #752500
You’re entitled to start your own thread. But why come in here to sour the mood???March 24, 2011 9:27 pm at 9:27 pm #752501oomisParticipant
Never think you’re too old & you’ll never meet ‘the one’… I B”H just got married a few months ago and I’m 27
Mazel tov and much simcha!March 24, 2011 10:31 pm at 10:31 pm #752502observanteenMember
Heeeeelp!!!! I’m EIGHTEEN, guys. E-I-G-H-T-E-E-N!!! And there’s NOTHING on the horizon!!!:(:( Suggestions anyone??
(Sorry. I’m not making fun of you out there, just felt kinda left out!)March 24, 2011 10:40 pm at 10:40 pm #752503snapplegrlMember
lets keep this as a support group for singles 20+… to vent out frustrations and share stories.. not necessarily looking for advice lets just share support.. I was once thinking of starting a support group newsletter for singles like 25+.. with cute stories, chizuk, segula of the week, and dumbest thing the boys ever did…lol but decided against it..March 24, 2011 11:12 pm at 11:12 pm #752504hanibParticipant
i can’t say how old i was when i got married, as i was the only person in the world to get married at that age, so i don’t want to give away who i am, but i too was an older single and boruch Hashem am happily married with a number of kids (can’t say how many – for again, i’m the only one in the world with this number of kids).
a month before i met my husband, a woman asked me what i was looking for and just looked at me like i was crazy for expecting all those things at my age. my husband had every single thing i was looking for. (and no, he isn’t perfect – i wasn’t looking for perfection). 😉March 25, 2011 12:00 am at 12:00 am #752505s2021Member
This title made me laugh. 🙂
Keep it up Singles!!!
Ur almost there!!
Happiness cums from the inside!
Just a few more losers!!
Ur Bashert is trying to find u!!
In just a lil while ull be exhausted and drained from all the housework!
Hashem loves uuuuu!!March 25, 2011 12:17 am at 12:17 am #752506
“I was once thinking of starting a support group newsletter for singles like 25+”
I’m thinking about starting a website.March 25, 2011 12:21 am at 12:21 am #752507the.nurseMember
thanks, oomis 🙂March 25, 2011 2:04 am at 2:04 am #752508red headMember
c’mon guys/girls! single life is great!!! just think about all your married friends who never had that single carefree years. most ppl get engaged down the line, so dont worry!!! You’ll get your single years and your married years!! enjoy the time now and make the most out of your time! your prince/princess will soon be coming!March 25, 2011 2:00 pm at 2:00 pm #752509
red head: that’s true! I have friends who got married young and are b”h bz with children when they themselves are still in their childish years. It’s not easy i am not saying. But we gotta be happy & think that hashem only gives tests for a person who can pass it. So i guess whoever was chosen for this test can pass it! never forget hashem loves u!
p.s. can we keep this as a support group!March 25, 2011 3:16 pm at 3:16 pm #752510
truth be told: Not souring the mood but setting the true expectations.March 25, 2011 4:38 pm at 4:38 pm #752511
anon1m0us: Not souring the mood but setting the true expectations.
But why in here?March 25, 2011 4:50 pm at 4:50 pm #752512
Nobody liked my story that wasn’t with the chazon ishMarch 25, 2011 5:25 pm at 5:25 pm #752513
PBA: I sure did
I’m pretty sure I’ve seen it somewhere before. Any clue where it could have been?March 25, 2011 5:28 pm at 5:28 pm #752514blinkyParticipant
pba- Interesting story but we are not talking about settling yet!
Also I know its like a thousand times in the CR but a way to italicize is put the word em in < > then write your text and after put /em in < > and it will be italicized!March 25, 2011 5:29 pm at 5:29 pm #752515snapplegrlMember
so sac, when we starting the website.. i have a lot to add..
what should we call it.. S.O.S – singles oy singles
The Singing Singles
Dating and Debating
any other ideas..March 25, 2011 6:03 pm at 6:03 pm #752516
blinky: like this?
<the word em>textMarch 25, 2011 6:18 pm at 6:18 pm #752517
I was thinking more on the lines of The Singles Network….March 25, 2011 6:28 pm at 6:28 pm #752518YW Moderator-80Member
<em>italicized text</em>March 25, 2011 6:29 pm at 6:29 pm #752519
now, how did you do thatMarch 25, 2011 6:30 pm at 6:30 pm #752520simcha manMember
whatrutalkingabt, I agree with you. Some things are uncompromisable. So he/she is shorter/taller than you wanted – in the greater spectrum, how much does that matter? If there’s a blemish in middos and/or emotional wellbeing that’s another story. There are things one cannot settle on.
When trying to push a shidduch, someone said to me, “Maybe it’s not the right one, but is it the wrong one?”
In my opinion, if it’s not right it’s wrong! You can’t force a square peg into a round hole.March 25, 2011 6:33 pm at 6:33 pm #752521Miss L. AneousMember
The trick isn’t only to “get married” but to “to stay married” as well. Unfortunately, divorce is rampant today. Yes, I have a “right” to be “picky” on certain nuances.March 25, 2011 7:02 pm at 7:02 pm #752522
You can’t force a square peg into a round hole.
I never understood this expression.
It should be: “You can’t force a bigger peg into a smaller hole.”
Because the only thing that matters is the relative sizes of the peg and the hole. The shape does not matter at all.March 25, 2011 7:42 pm at 7:42 pm #752523
“Because the only thing that matters is the relative sizes of the peg and the hole.”
It’s not about fitting, its about something being a good match.
You can do a 1,000 piece puzzle completely wrong and squash all the pieces in to the wrong holes, they may fit however awkwardly and inharmoniously, but they wont match.March 25, 2011 8:35 pm at 8:35 pm #752524tomim tihyeMember
popa: The moral of that story supports a valid viewpoint.
I wish good health and true happiness to the man.
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