Some notes about what it means to be truly poor…
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- This topic has 129 replies, 48 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 1 month ago by commonsense.
January 17, 2013 5:22 pm at 5:22 pm #1001100DaMosheParticipant
I wish I was in a position to help, but unfortunately I’m not. My wife has been unemployed for a long time, and our savings have dwindled to next to nothing.
One thing I can offer as advice is this: try to help others! You never know how it can help you later on. Here’s an example.
The wife of a friend of mine has helped out numerous people with various things – marrying off kallos without money, baalei teshuva, she helped a geyores with no money get new kitchen utensils, etc. They’ve never been rich, and just make ends meet, so she says she volunteers her time since she can’t help with money. She approaches various people she knows and gets donations of money, items, and other things.
A few months ago, their Shabbos hot plate broke. They tend to have a lot of guests, and had a very large, expensive hot plate to keep the large amount of food needed warm for the meals. They weren’t sure they could afford to buy a new one. So she called a store she had approached for various cases in the past, since she knew they sold them. She said to the owner, “My hot plate broke last week, and I need a new one. The one we had was very expensive, and I don’t have the money to replace it. Can you recommend a similar one that might be cheaper?”
The owner called her the next day and said, “I’ve spoken to you numerous times where you were always helping out others. I found out that you never took a penny for helping them. Now it’s your turn!” He sent them a new hot plate for free. Not only that, she had called a few stores to shop around for the best price. 2 other stores did the same thing! When she called to tell them she didn’t need 3 of them, she was told to keep them anyway – she could have one for Pesach, and one as a spare in case it was ever needed.
They kept one for Pesach, but true to her usual self, she gave away the 3rd one to a baal teshuva who was just starting to keep Shabbos!
My point is, if you help other people, Hashem will help you when you need it too.January 17, 2013 5:56 pm at 5:56 pm #1001101fertParticipant
I find it somewhat funny that all these very poor people have the internet or have ever had time to talk in coffee room.January 17, 2013 6:19 pm at 6:19 pm #1001102a maminParticipant
Fert:: I find it somewhat funny that you can be SO RUDE and INSENSITIVE to someones matzav!! YOU should never need to come onto someone elses tovos!January 17, 2013 6:26 pm at 6:26 pm #1001103ToiParticipant
well isnt that silly? maybe they need a computer or work (as op said above- he has a job) or are borrowing from someone. and because theyre poor doesnt mean they have to be scurrying like mice all day and not have any down time.January 17, 2013 7:15 pm at 7:15 pm #1001104
I’m expecting a post from DBM thanking Ferd for his large contribution.January 17, 2013 9:09 pm at 9:09 pm #1001105The Best BubbyParticipant
DaMoshe: How very true is your sound advice to help others. DBM may not have actual funds, but, sometimes “donating time” is just as big and important Mitzvah. You can’t buy time, nor replace it, if it is gone or lost. Time is sometimes worth more than money.
May we all have besuros tovos soon with much siyata dishmaya! Omein!January 18, 2013 12:38 am at 12:38 am #1001106downandinMember
OH my gosh, Fert!! I have been waiting for someone to ask this question!! I am fabulously impoverished, and I will tell you how I have internet:
My adult daughter gave me an old laptop. My neighbors don’t bother putting a password on their wireless.
My local library has internet.
I have access to internet where I work…yes, I do work…in fact several part time jobs, and so does my husband. We do scurry around like mice all day and most of the night, but every once in a while we like to check the weather and the news.
Thanks for asking!!January 18, 2013 6:07 am at 6:07 am #1001107
DaMoshe: Excellent story! Stories of kindness like yours have this dual effect on me wherein I simultaneously smile and feel like crying. 🙂 I guess it’s just touching to know that, somewhere out there, people care.
DaasYochid and downandin:
Fert’s comments only underscore that particular disconnect that the financially solvent have from the destitute amongst us. I think some people still expect rags, soot and charming Cockney accents when they think of “poor.” All I have to say is that I’ve done my part by posting the information of the person who knows of my situation firsthand. Better to direct all clever questions to my rebbe than to try to “catch” me on the internet.
To everyone else:
Shabbos is approaching. To those of you who understand what life is like in my position, you know why Fridays can be a difficult time. It may be too late to help us with this Shabbos, but remember that there will still be one after that and then after THAT.January 18, 2013 9:41 am at 9:41 am #1001108TheBearIsBackMember
It may be too late to help us with this Shabbos, but remember that there will still be one after that and then after THAT.
In other words, you have no intention to better your lot and no emunah that Hashem could make it better. You’d rather make us feel guilty about our tzedoko choices than do something so you don’t need to resort to schnorring.
This is the attitude that shines through all of your posts. No one owes you anything. In my case, I have to worry about aniyei ircho kodem and aniyei E”Y long before I even think about giving to an individual who is physically able to support himself and who lives in a place where there is a safety net.
You need more money? Sweep floors, take out garbage and save merchants in your area the shame and risk of hiring illegal aliens.January 18, 2013 10:27 am at 10:27 am #1001109danielaParticipant
Shabbat Shalom. You don’t wish that for the following Shabbat you’ll stand on your own two feet?
Thank you also for your kind wishes, shall I say wishful thinking, calling us all “financially solvent” and disconnected (!!!) from poverty, I wonder if you are convinced that the jewish lobby runs the banks and wall street. Please also explain me the part about “catching” someone on the internet. You mean exposing a hypotetical fraud? We don’t have time for frauds, HKBH takes care of frauds and reshaim.January 18, 2013 5:49 pm at 5:49 pm #1001111stam36Member
I have read through this blog and some of the comments here are quite rude to say the least……Have Compassion on a fellow yid
there are many scam artists (and this also applies to organizations-do your own due diligence), so cant blame the skeptics here
I have spoken to “Ari’s” Rebbe and have verified that he is truly a nitzrach and doing whatever he can to support himself. I also verified that hardly anybody has called
Imagine yourself nice job, paying your bills and your company gets downsized or you get laid off-it does not take long for economics to go downhill fast
Shabbat Shalom and Parnassa Tova for everybodyJanuary 18, 2013 6:23 pm at 6:23 pm #1001112🐵 ⌨ GamanitParticipant
Boruch Hashem I’m not in a situation now where Shabbos is difficult, but quoting my father it’s better to eat peanut butter sandwiches on shabbos than taking money from tzedakka to buy food. If the food during the week is also from tzedakka than the Shabbos food should be special.January 18, 2013 6:23 pm at 6:23 pm #1001113
Stam36: THANK YOU. I just got a phone call from my rebbi to let me know that he’d received his first phone call. Thank you for reaching out.
To those of you who feel the need to be relentlessly rude: I have nothing further to say to you. You can sit here and stew and storm and conjecture, but ultimately, if you have any meaningful questions about my situation, you know what number to call. I know it’s fun and perhaps a little vindicating to diagnose people’s life attitudes and madraigos via the coffee room, but remember that words cause pain, and can sometimes strike deeper than fists and feet. Congratulate yourselves while you can, but remember that you and I both will be facing din v’cheshbon after our long and iy”H fruitful lives.January 18, 2013 7:30 pm at 7:30 pm #1001114
If you could post a name and address for the Yeshivah, perhaps checks could be mailed there directly with ” for your Talmid Ari” in the memo. I feel a little uncomfortable calling the Yeshivah to speak to your Rov, but I would like to help.January 20, 2013 2:23 am at 2:23 am #1001115
Oomis, that’s a great idea.
For anyone who’d feel comfortable mailing a check, you can mail it to:
Rabbi Yehuda Shmulewitz
Beis Midrash L’Talmud
75-31 150th Street
Flushing, NY 11367January 20, 2013 10:58 pm at 10:58 pm #1001117
Thanks, David, and hatzlacha rabbah, to overcome your personal situation b’korov.January 21, 2013 1:32 am at 1:32 am #1001118
any tzedaka name to make out check to?January 22, 2013 3:55 am at 3:55 am #1001119
hi, still need a name to make the check out to tzedaka or notJanuary 22, 2013 6:33 am at 6:33 am #1001120
Is there a way I can contact you privately? I really don’t want to post my name on a public forum. Alternatively, you can ask my rebbi how he’d like it to be made out? Sorry for the trouble.January 22, 2013 11:14 am at 11:14 am #1001121susheeMember
Why not just make it payable to the rabbi’s name and include a note that it’s for his talmid Ari.January 22, 2013 1:47 pm at 1:47 pm #1001122
18 seems to want the name of a tax deductible organization.January 22, 2013 6:25 pm at 6:25 pm #1001123
I’m ok with any name doesn’t have to be tax deductible though that would be nice. I just don’t want to make it out to cash. David I’m sorry, I didn’t mean you should post your name I just need any viable name for a check. I will contact your Rabbi and ask him b”n.January 22, 2013 6:28 pm at 6:28 pm #1001124zahavasdadParticipant
There is probably a Gemach which donations are tax deductable, You can mark on the check to the Gemach that the money is to be used to give directly to someoneJanuary 22, 2013 7:41 pm at 7:41 pm #1001125
Why can’t anyone make a check payable to the Shul, enclose a note that it is funds earmarked specifically for Talmid Ari, and the Rabbi to whom the check was mailed, is responsible to see to it that it is disbursed properly. Since he already gave his haskama to be involved, it is not a difficult thing to accomplish.January 22, 2013 7:52 pm at 7:52 pm #1001126
He gave the # of his rebbe from Lander, not his shul’s rov.January 22, 2013 7:53 pm at 7:53 pm #1001128
oom to be honest I didn’t think of that. thanxJanuary 27, 2013 7:23 pm at 7:23 pm #1001131
I want to thank, profusely and wholeheartedly, the person whose donation reached me last week. I want you to understand that I’ve already been able to improve things a bit, such as our food, our electric bill and enough gas to get my wife to and from the doctor–all with the sorely-needed help you sent me.
You wrote that it is important you remain anonymous, and so I will not ask you to identify yourself even in this thread. If you are reading this, however, THANK YOU. HKB”H knows who you are, and I hope that He rewards you beyond your dearest dreams.February 5, 2013 2:54 am at 2:54 am #1001132
I would further like to thank the two people whose recent donations got to me just in time to make Shabbos. You know who you are, and now you know what your tzedaka has done. Thank you, thank you so very much!February 22, 2013 8:13 pm at 8:13 pm #1001133I can only tryMember
Now’s the time for matanos l’evyonim.January 31, 2014 3:01 pm at 3:01 pm #1001134commonsenseParticipant
Daniel, find a tzedaka that will allow you to have checks made out to them, then do a mailing to everyone you can think of. You can say you are collecting for a friend although some will probably figure out you are talking about yourself. If you have a tzedaka name, people are more likely to give. In today’s time gevirim are innundated and unless you have a direct connection you will likely get very minimal amounts from them. Hatzlocha. If you get a tzedakah name be sure and post it here for those that might want to give.
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