Home › Forums › Yom Tov › Purim › Someone to whom you should consider sending mishloach manos (not kiruv/chesed)
Tagged: achdus, email addresses, Mishloach Manos, profiles, Purim
- This topic has 85 replies, 10 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 6 months ago by rebshidduch.
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March 10, 2017 1:42 am at 1:42 am #619442☢️ Rand0m3x 🎲Participant
Someone whom you would consider an enemy,
or with whom you have gotten into a fight.
This is a good opportunity to make peace.
March 10, 2017 1:44 am at 1:44 am #1229524Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantNice! Other ideas are: not-Frum people, people who might not be getting from anyone else and bus drivers, etc.
March 10, 2017 1:50 am at 1:50 am #1229525JosephParticipantrabbiofberlin.
March 10, 2017 1:51 am at 1:51 am #1229526Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantI’m still waiting for my peanut-butter cup mishloach manos from the CR. I’m expecting it to arrive on Purim.
March 10, 2017 2:05 am at 2:05 am #1229527Ex-CTLawyerParticipantI actually send to a direct political opponent (we ran against each other in the 2015 election).
He happens to be Jewish, but not frum.
March 10, 2017 2:05 am at 2:05 am #1229528Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantThat was nice of you.
March 10, 2017 2:11 am at 2:11 am #1229529JosephParticipantBill Clinton and George W. Bush are friends.
March 10, 2017 2:19 am at 2:19 am #1229530zahavasdadParticipantMaybe Jared Kushner can send Shalach Manot to Marc Mezvinsky (Chelsea Clintons Husband)
March 10, 2017 2:24 am at 2:24 am #1229531Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantI’m sure Ivanka will send to Chelsea since they are good friends.
March 10, 2017 2:24 am at 2:24 am #1229532LightbriteParticipantLU: Your MM is on its way 🙂
March 10, 2017 2:25 am at 2:25 am #1229533Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantAnd I’m sure she will give her father.
March 10, 2017 2:27 am at 2:27 am #1229534Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantThanks LB! Were you the one who came up with the idea of our having to tell the Mods our names just so you could send me MM? That was so nice of you!
j/k – I only told them my first name. I figured it’s in my email address anyhow so it didn’t hurt to tell them (or whoever gets the profile info).
March 10, 2017 2:27 am at 2:27 am #1229535Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantIt just occurred to me that a lot of people have their last names in their email addresses, so they would have that info anyhow.
March 10, 2017 2:37 am at 2:37 am #1229536Ex-CTLawyerParticipantJoseph……………
Bill Clinton and George W. Bush both lived in my hometown of New Haven, CT.
Bush and I were both baby boomers born at Grace New Haven Hospital.
I met Bill Clinton and Hillary Rodham when they were law students at Yale
March 10, 2017 2:43 am at 2:43 am #1229537LightbriteParticipantMine is an email address from at least 12-13yo. Doesn’t have my name.
March 10, 2017 3:02 am at 3:02 am #1229538JosephParticipantLB, how long ago did you get that address?
March 10, 2017 3:11 am at 3:11 am #1229539Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantShe said at least 12 -13 years. But why are you asking her?
March 10, 2017 3:12 am at 3:12 am #1229540JosephParticipantMarch 10, 2017 3:14 am at 3:14 am #1229541Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantyo = years old.
March 10, 2017 3:14 am at 3:14 am #1229542LightbriteParticipantI’m sorry CR & Joseph. I was wrong. So far it seems that I opened the account in 2008, so 9 years ago.
March 10, 2017 3:15 am at 3:15 am #1229543JosephParticipantAnd you were 12-13 yo then?
March 10, 2017 3:17 am at 3:17 am #1229544LightbriteParticipantOoops!!! I meant “years ago”
Wow… that’s a super fail on my part.
Actually, I might have used “yo” when stating the date of revived threads.
Thanks for the tochacha/correction
March 10, 2017 3:17 am at 3:17 am #1229545Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantfrom at least 12-13yo. She said “at least” So we now know that she is at least 21 years old.. but we already knew that anyhow.
March 10, 2017 3:18 am at 3:18 am #1229546Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantI was also at least 12-13 years old when I got my email address. I don’t think anyone should be getting an email address before 12-13.
March 10, 2017 3:19 am at 3:19 am #1229547LightbriteParticipantJoseph already knows that I am not in my 20’s, so I think that he was just verifying that I was being honest.
Appreciate that you pointed that out
March 10, 2017 3:20 am at 3:20 am #1229548LightbriteParticipantI had a few email addresses in my teens. I think that I used the other one prior to my CR address for much of my late teens to early 20’s.
I made the switch when I wanted to make a company with the name of my gmail address.
Later I switched to my real name, which sounds/looks more professional
March 10, 2017 5:33 am at 5:33 am #1229549rebshidduchParticipantI forgot to send my kiruv mishloach manos!
March 10, 2017 5:34 am at 5:34 am #1229550rebshidduchParticipantShould I give mishloach manos to guys that I give rides to?
March 10, 2017 8:13 am at 8:13 am #1229551Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantTHAT WOULD BE AN AVEIRA AND NOT A MITZVAH!!!!!
March 10, 2017 9:45 pm at 9:45 pm #1229552rebshidduchParticipantLilmod, why would it be an aveira and not a mitzvah? Maybe no one else is giving them mishloach manos?
March 11, 2017 7:55 pm at 7:55 pm #1229553Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantAccording to halacha, a woman is not supposed to give to a man or a man to a woman (Rema Siman 695, Seif 4).
March 11, 2017 8:50 pm at 8:50 pm #1229554Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantPritzus comes from too much chesed. A stork is called chasida in Loshon Hakodesh because she is very pritzusdik and chasida is from the loshon of chesed. An extreme of any middah can be bad.
It’s beautiful that you want to do chesed, but any middah can be misused. No middah is inherently good or bad – it depends on the situation.
March 13, 2017 9:25 pm at 9:25 pm #1229555mik5ParticipantThe posuk says to send to a friend. If you send to an enemy, it is questionable if you are yotzi.
Source: torah.org article on halachos of mishloach manos
March 13, 2017 11:34 pm at 11:34 pm #1229556Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantI never heard of that halacha before, but I am wondering if an enemy whom you are trying to befriend by sending mishloach manos would be different.
March 14, 2017 12:12 am at 12:12 am #1229557rebshidduchParticipantLilmod, why is it not okay for a girl of marriageable age to have friends who are boys who have the potential to marry her? This past year I saw many girls and boys exchanging mishloach manos.
March 14, 2017 12:20 am at 12:20 am #1229558Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantFirst of all, exchanging mishloach manos and being friends are two separate issues. There is a specific halacha regarding mishloach manos.
There is also a separate halachic issue regarding being friends. If the friendship is for the purpose of seeing if this is someone you want to marry (in otherwords you are really dating the person but you are calling it “being friends”) then I would imagine that it MIGHT be permitted, but you would have to really be sure that it is for “toeles” purposes and that this is a guy who makes sense for you and whom you are SERIOUSLY considering marrying.
Often, girls will fool themselves into thinking it’s for “toeles” when they really know that they are not seriously considering marrying the guy and/or that he is not a good match for her.
March 14, 2017 12:23 am at 12:23 am #1229559👑RebYidd23ParticipantA lot of people have siblings of the opposite gender.
March 14, 2017 1:16 am at 1:16 am #1229560rebshidduchParticipantLilmod, so according to you the guys I hang out with are okay because they have the potential to marry me?
March 14, 2017 1:20 am at 1:20 am #1229561Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantI didn’t say that at all. You are hearing what you want to hear.
March 14, 2017 1:44 am at 1:44 am #1229562LightbriteParticipantRebshidduch: Hanging out with guys, plural is an issue for one thing.
If you want to date one guy who has the qualities that you are looking for in a husband and he is serious about getting married, it would still be seeing one guy at a time.
As far as I understand, after determining that this guy is not your husband, you would cease contact with him.
March 14, 2017 2:02 am at 2:02 am #1229563LightbriteParticipantDoes giving mashloach manos to family members living in the same house count as being yotzeh?
March 14, 2017 2:35 am at 2:35 am #1229564rebshidduchParticipantlightbrite, exactly. So your saying that I can date one guy at a time even if he is my boyfriend and is planning on marrying me?
March 14, 2017 2:59 am at 2:59 am #1229565LightbriteParticipantRebshidduch: Not exactly. I don’t even know what you mean by “boyfriend.”
That word alone, at least in my world, is used to describe a guy that one has some physical relationship with, which according to halacha is assur.
This is definitely a LOR question. At least I am unqualified to answer here.
Would your LOR approve?
March 14, 2017 3:00 am at 3:00 am #1229566MenoParticipantWhat’s wrong with dating more than one guy at a time?
Assuming you’re just dating to see if you would be compatible for marriage, I don’t a problem, as long as you can handle it.
March 14, 2017 3:04 am at 3:04 am #1229567LightbriteParticipantSome rabbis hold that one cannot fully invest in getting to know someone when they have a backburner option.
One needs to think of this person as a person, individually.
Meno: Also, rebshidduch may mean that she is hanging out with guys without any serious intention of marrying them.
What you say has big influence, so I hope that you consider that.
Likewise, I too need to be mindful of my words.
Thank you because you brought up a much debated point in shidduchim.
March 14, 2017 3:05 am at 3:05 am #1229568rebshidduchParticipantlightbrite, I do not mean someone that you have physical contact with.
March 14, 2017 3:07 am at 3:07 am #1229569MenoParticipantWhat you say has big influence, so I hope that you consider that.
You mean rebshidduch might listen to something I say?
March 14, 2017 4:12 am at 4:12 am #1229570LightbriteParticipantRebshidduch: Thank you for clarifying 🙂
Meno: Yes of course. Just want to make sure that nit doesn’t sound like you’re okaying an entourage of guys c”vs
March 14, 2017 4:24 pm at 4:24 pm #1229571rebshidduchParticipantlightbrite, (jokingly) I was planning on inviting a bunch of guys to hang out at my apartment.
March 14, 2017 4:45 pm at 4:45 pm #1229572MenoParticipantThat’s hilarious
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