December 11, 2009 6:54 pm at 6:54 pm #590946
I was just wondering how those who suffer from any mental illness manage to go about their day to day affairs- live a normal life- even with having a mental illness of some kind. For me everyday is a HUGE struggle so I thought that maybe we could give each other some feedback in how to manage so others (myself included) can gain.December 11, 2009 7:04 pm at 7:04 pm #834077
i myself have no mental illness but i live with someone who is bipolar so i hope this will help.
please keep in mind, that i dont know you, so this posting isnt tailor made for you, im just sharing my experiences.
first of all, you have to come to grips with the fact that you have a mental illness. once you accept that fact, you are better equipped to deal with it in your everyday life.
second of all, while i can understand why you may want to keep it secret from the world at large, it is important to have a few people who know about it, and who you can talk to and confide in.
third of all, it is important to take any prescribed medicine.
fourth it is extremely important to see a therapist and be very open with said therapist.
i understand that it can be a huge struggle living with a mental illness in daily life…i see it every day. but with these four steps it becomes an easier burden to bear.
like i said i dont know you or your condition, but from what i see, there are two things that help people. one, is to throw themselves into whatever they are doing at the moment, completely, and focus on nothing else, and another is when you feel a manifestation of whatever illness you may have coming on, call one of the people who you feel comfortable confiding in…and talk to them.
i hope this helps you.December 11, 2009 7:14 pm at 7:14 pm #834078pookieMember
just look at the positive things in your life, and with that you should realize how lucky you are to be here and in any situation that hashem has put you in. (btw i dont mean to be nosy but you started a thread a while back about depression, have you seen anybody who can possibly help you, because they can really be a huge saviour)December 11, 2009 7:29 pm at 7:29 pm #834079
Thanks for replying. I definately know that I have a mental illness and I’ve come to terms with it. I don’t like it but that’s life. Not e/t in it am I going to like and enjoy… I see a therapist and have friends who are usually very good at supporting me. I take my medicine everyday (haven’t missed one yet), it is just quite difficult right now. I guess I’m going through not such a good time now but hope that it’ll get better.
Pookie- I do try telling myself that. It’s difficult because I don’t nec. believe it but I guess the more I say it, the more I’ll believe it…December 11, 2009 7:39 pm at 7:39 pm #834080
Happiest: Hang in there! Sometimes the going is tough, but sounds like you have a support system for yourself.
I have someone close to me who is clinically depressed and takes meds for it. Maybe your doctor can adjust your medication? Or try a different one? Everyone’s body chemistry is different and some medicines work for one but not another. Or if you just started your medicine it might take time for your body to adjust.
Hope that is helpful!
I wish you only the best. A freilichen chanuka! 🙂December 11, 2009 7:45 pm at 7:45 pm #834081
Thanks NY mom. I am not so happy about having to adjust or change my medications. It’s hard to start a new medication and then have to get used to it all over again. I guess I’m not loving the idea of medication at all but that I don’t have a choice in taking.
I just wish I was as strong as everyone else seems to be:( I know I’ll work at it and get there eventually but now it’s so hard for me! Thanks for all your moral support everyone! It’s good to know that people care (even though you don’t know who I am)December 11, 2009 8:00 pm at 8:00 pm #834082
Happiest: I know it takes time to find just the right meds for oneself, but it is worth it. People don’t realize that doctors who deal with this are just using a lot of trial and error. But think of it this way: Once you get the right medication or combination of meds it will help you a lot more.
BTW, though you said that you don’t feel strong, I must say that I admire you for starting this and the other thread (support group one), and I really think it was courageous of you. Really! Some would feel uncomfortable doing so, even in an anonymous forum like this. So I believe that you are stronger than you think. And you are probably helping others who are reading this, but don’t have the courage to post. Chazak V’amatz!December 12, 2009 11:07 pm at 11:07 pm #834083
Thanks NY MOM- you don’t know how good that actually made me feel! Honestly, I’m not strong because if I was then I’d call my therapist and tell her about my severe issues that I’m having but I’m to scared to do so:(
Medication is hard for me. I always hated it and I guess I don’t like it anymore since I don’t feel like it’s helping me at all. Everyday is a struggle for me but iy”H I will soon become strong enough to conquer my illness!December 13, 2009 1:11 am at 1:11 am #834084I can only tryMember
Whatever you do, keep on fighting.
All of the other posters have given thoughtful advice, opinions and encouragement.
I was going to post a list of some famous and accomplished people who suffered from depression and managed to overcome it and do great things, but such a list would be too large to include here.
Let me just mention that Abraham Lincoln and Winston Churchill (arguably the greatest American and British leaders) are on the list, and look at what they’ve managed to accomplish.
Hatzlocha raba.December 13, 2009 2:57 am at 2:57 am #834085
Thanks icot. I’m trying not to give up, it’s a hard struggle.
All I’ll say is that if depression was my only struggle right now then I’d probably be ok but it’s not which makes it that much harder. I do go on with my life like normal, the people around me have no idea that I’m going thru all this but I know and that’s what hurts so much. I am taking the advice of everyone here- trust me!
And I’m the type of person that feels bad that anyone else has to go through this also. Just because I have to go thru it, I feel bad that anyone has to suffer with it as well. It’s funny because it almost makes it harder for me that there are other people who are suffering too because why should someone else have to suffer with this also? I know, it’s a dumb thing to think because it’s almost like I’m taking the worlds issues onto my shoulders but it’s what I feel…
Thanks all for replying. Makes it easier for me to know that people really DO care.December 13, 2009 4:04 am at 4:04 am #834086
happiest: Thanks NY MOM- you don’t know how good that actually made me feel!
You’re welcome and I’m glad I was able to make you feel good!
Medication is hard for me. I always hated it and I guess I don’t like it anymore since I don’t feel like it’s helping me at all.
This is the strongest reason you could possibly give to try a new medication. What’s the point of taking medicine if it is not helping you?! Sorry if it sounds like I am harping on this issue. I am just saying to you what I would say to my loved one who has the same problem.
I’m not strong because if I was then I’d call my therapist and tell her about my severe issues that I’m having but I’m to scared to do so:(
If you need to call your therapist, then call her! What is there to fear from her? And if you are fearful of what your therapist will say about this, instead of expecting support/help from her, it may be time to find a new therapist.December 13, 2009 4:16 am at 4:16 am #834087AZOI.ISParticipant
The thinker/questioner in me, while reading ICOT’s above post, made me wonder if there are any Gedolim, Rabbonim who were open about personal mental illness of any kind. I find it hard to believe that there are no Gedolim/Rabbonim with personal experiences in this area.
If we’d like the community at large to look upon sufferers with dignity, we need some of our role models to be forthcoming about any personal experiences they might have had with bouts of depression, and how they managed.. etc. I think it would be a great help to sufferers.December 13, 2009 5:25 am at 5:25 am #834088
Meds make getting and being open in therapy much easier. It sounds like you might need a new medication. Also, if you are on a SSRI, these can take around a month to start working; some clinicians will prescribe a benzodiazepine till that time (eg. Valium).
Also, if you have been on a med for a long time- let say Zoloft and now it’s not working, before you try a different med, make sure you have maxed out on the dosage of the Zoloft (or other med). Also, some mental illnesses require more than one med right from the git go.December 13, 2009 5:57 am at 5:57 am #834089Pashuteh YidMember
Happiest, I have a close relative with such an illness, and it can be very tough. The main thing is to keep after your doctor to find the best medicines for you. Sometimes they work well for a while, and then wear off. Also, do not be afraid to just rest as much as you need when you don’t feel well. Stay away from stress. Every day that you don’t need to be in a hospital is a successful day, and something to be thankful about. Hopefully with the right medicines, you will not need to be in a hospital at all, and will be able to function as well as everybody else. Never give up hope. As one doctor said, these illnesses are caused by a chemical imbalance, and nothing more, so there is nothing to be ashamed about. Correcting the imbalance is the doctor’s job, and once the right medicines and dosage are found, then one can be just as normal as everybody else.December 13, 2009 7:18 am at 7:18 am #834090HalelujahMember
I was watching a video clip on different ways to temporarily relieve depression. I can’t find it now, bu there are some very helpful pointers which I found. The presenter is a Dr. Rabin, and he suggests a website: healthylifestyle.upmc.com
One trick that always helps somewhat in calming emotions whether anger, frustration or depression, is taking in a breath of air, one to two seconds, and (if possible) going on a short walk can help too.
Try to keep in mind some humorous and cute stories or comments that you’ve heard or seen at some point, and when you feel yourself feeling “down,” think about them.
I hoped I’ve helped in some manner. Being that i am only a 16 year old, I’d feel to shy to say anything if this was in public.
I wish you hatzlacha, and as a cohen, i give you a brachah that Hashem should give you the koach you need to get through this situation as soon as possible!December 13, 2009 4:55 pm at 4:55 pm #834091JotharMember
According to Rabbi Hillel Goldberg’s book on Rav Yisroel Salanter, as well as Rabbi Israel Glenn’s book, Rav Yisroel Salanter ZT”L suffered from depression, what was called by his talmidim as a “mara shechora”. He overcame it to become on of the most influential leaders klal yisorel has had in the last 150 years.
Most gedolim have dealings with people who have depression, as it’s very common- much more common than people are willing to let on.December 13, 2009 11:02 pm at 11:02 pm #834092
Thanks everyone! It will probably take me a little while to answer each individual post but just wanted to say that it really means a lot to me that so many people care and want to answer me!!
I know that there are many people (including rabbanim and drs) who are on meds/ seeing a therapist. Does it reassure me? I’m not so sure, I would rather no1 suffer with any of these illnesses since I know how much it hurts me.
I do know that I probably need my meds upped- I’m dreading it but I’ll do it if my dr advises me to do it.
Thanks again for e/t!!!December 14, 2009 1:43 am at 1:43 am #834093positiveaynayimMember
Kol HaKavod happiest. HKB”H should give you the koach to deal with this in the most beneficial way possible for you personally and all those who are a part of your life.
May we be zoche to greet Moshiach to not only see a time that these illnesses are obliterated, but to see HKB”H pain free also. To know that Hashem shares in klal yisroel’s tzaar (personal too) is sometimes comforting.December 14, 2009 2:24 am at 2:24 am #834094
I just would like to add one more thing. Usually people who suffer with a mental illness (any type) feel very alone. I think that everyone on this site is doing a huge chessed! I feel like people care (what’s cooler is that you don’t even know who I am and you still care!)Hashem should bless all of you with only good in your lives and no1 should have to suffer the way I am suffering!!!!December 14, 2009 3:01 am at 3:01 am #834095
with Hashem’s help you shouldnt have to suffer either 🙂December 14, 2009 4:10 am at 4:10 am #834096newbieMember
Wow, this whole thread is really inspiring… just one point:
“Most gedolim have dealings with people who have depression, as it’s very common- much more common than people are willing to let on.” -this may be true, but I believe a big part of the problem lies in the fact that people don’t always want to acknowledge their illness in order to be able to deal with it precisely because of this- because no Rabbanim or leaders discuss it publicly.
…which leads me to my question. How would one go about convincing someone to acknowledge their problem and try to get help for it if they’re blaming everyone else for it? What is there to do about it?December 14, 2009 7:41 am at 7:41 am #834097yoshiMember
happiest, I’m sorry you’re going through such a tough time right now. Everyone experiences “bad” days, but if they persist for an extended period of time, then you might want to talk to your Dr. about different medication options.
In my experience, writing everything down on paper, takes a huge load off my shoulders. That way, your problems are now safely written down, they aren’t going anywhere or getting lost. It will also help tremendously at your next therapy session to have all that information at hand.
Another thing is the “diagnosis” can be tricky for many doctors. It can sometimes be a combination of several “imbalances.” that are making you feel a certain way. They will try medication after medication before they find the proper “cocktail” which suites your specific needs.
I applaud you for the incredible bravery you possess to start a thread on this very sensitive topic. I have never met you, but just from this thread alone, I can tell how strong you are. Just imagine people you know, see all the amazing things you possess as an individual. Don’t sell your self short, you are much better than that.
If you need any further assistance, I will help in any way I can.Take care, and have a wonderful Chanukah!December 14, 2009 7:47 am at 7:47 am #834098
^yeah that! the person i know went through a bunch of different medicines until they found the right blend. in fact..they ended up taking LESS medicine because they found a different drug that was more effective in less quantities. it may be hard now, but stick it out. it will get better 😀December 15, 2009 2:46 am at 2:46 am #834099
I know it’s going to be hard but I guess I’m at the point where I’m willing to do almost anything. It might not be good to be at that point because it means that I’m pretty low down right now but I know I’ll be ok!!
Thanks e/o for you chizuk!!!December 16, 2009 3:43 pm at 3:43 pm #834100
Struggling:( Having hard couple of days. I know, it probably can only get better from here so I should just stay strong and keep doing e/t that I’m supposed to be doing but it’s so so hard!December 16, 2009 4:19 pm at 4:19 pm #834101itiswhatitisMember
Honestly, I’m not strong because if I was then I’d call my therapist and tell her about my severe issues that I’m having but I’m to scared to do so:(
happiest: Don’t keep it within yourself, call your therapist and them her what’s bothering you. Seeing a good therapist everything eventually will come out, so why wait till it comes out from the back door… Discussing it with her will help you take the load off your shoulders plus come up with some solution how to avoid/solve the problem! True you need the chizuk right now in every which way possible, but having this on your shoulder will definitely be a stumbling block to making you stronger! Just keep in mind, you’ve come this far – that means you are very capable, besides the fact that you are a strong person!!! Be strong, you can do it!!!December 16, 2009 4:26 pm at 4:26 pm #834102
Happiest: Have you tried incorporating exercise into your schedule?
Not only is it healthy for you in general, they say that exercise releases endorphins, which can improve a person’s mood and give you a general feeling of well being. In fact, they link these endorphins to what they call the “runner’s high”. (Yoshi would know more about that!)
But if you haven’t tried this, maybe it would be a good idea to join a gym, buy an exercise DVD, ask Yoshi’s advice on running, or whatever, as long as you are exercising and doing it on a regular basis. Hope that is helpful to you.December 23, 2009 3:39 pm at 3:39 pm #834103
Happiest: How are you doing? I have been thinking about you and hope you are feeling better.December 23, 2009 8:57 pm at 8:57 pm #834104
Thanks Nymom- so nice that you care. Today is a better day, b”H. Hoping it’s this means that I’m on the road to recovery but I am not getting my hopes up to much. Don’t want to be disappointed…December 23, 2009 9:04 pm at 9:04 pm #834105
Good to hear that today is a better day. 🙂December 24, 2009 3:47 am at 3:47 am #834106I can only tryMember
Today is a better day, b”H.
As Rav Scheinberg concludes his schmoozim, “Keep smiling and keep going”.December 24, 2009 7:21 am at 7:21 am #834107
Day to day isn’t that important, it’s the long run. Even people without illness have ups and downs. Make sure your meds are working and you are going to your therapist at least once a week.December 24, 2009 5:02 pm at 5:02 pm #834108
Health: To happiest,
Day to day isn’t that important, it’s the long run. Even people without illness have ups and downs. Make sure your meds are working and you are going to your therapist at least once a week.
I’ve have to second that.December 24, 2009 5:21 pm at 5:21 pm #834109esuMember
Of course day to day is so important, chances are right now if you were to look at the entire picture of the long run it looks depressing and sad. It’s so important to keep those good successful days on the forefront of your mind in order to help you keep growing, it’s the only way you can physically continue to keep growing to achieve your ultimate goal!!December 25, 2009 3:31 am at 3:31 am #834110
You missed the point -noone said not to look on the good days and use them as a building block.December 11, 2011 2:37 am at 2:37 am #834111always runs with scissors fastParticipant
can we re-kick up this discussion from the dead again?December 11, 2011 2:56 am at 2:56 am #834112soliekMember
sure why not
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.