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Hi can any one tell me there opinions on the big hang outs on motzie shabbos?? Lots of people are saying that if u go there it gives u a bad name, I personally think if u go in and out just to eat its ok, but all those teenagers who go there very late at night 10-3am just for the sake of hanging out…… Wil it look bad if me as a teenager goes there just to eat??
Thanks
Princess (or anyone): Which places are hangouts?
Princess15
10-3am?! What is a young teenager doing out of the house after 11 or 12 at night?!
going in to pick up a slice of pizza to take home isnt the problem. But its quite easy to bump into someone and sit down and shmooze, and thats why people say to not go at all. Not giving my opinion on the matter, just passing along what ive been told.
Personally, I’d say : 1. rather go to the (more expensive…) eat in places, not the fast food/hangout spots. 2. Don’t go out and mingle with boys , 3. don’t act loud or dress flashy and 4. Be home before 12.
You should be okay if you follow my advice, and not just because it looks bad, but because it could be bad for your neshuma. Unless you’re looking for an ultra-frum /chasidish shidduch and are pretending to be frummer than you actually are. Good luck!
Princess,
I assume that your a 15 year old girl.
If your asking this question then you’re aware of the dangers lurking in these places.
Forget the eating and stay far away from these places on Motzo’ey Shabbos. It’s almost impossible not to get caught in the trap, one way or another.
Invite a few friends over and play a game or something, you’ll avoid the whole thing and feel good about yourself, too.
Stay safe.
+1 Yatzmich. These dangers are for girls older than 15 as well.
Worry about the reputation of what you do, not of what people think you do.
You can control what you do.
Maras Ayin is only when you are doing something that looks inherently wrong.
Eating pizza isn’t inherently wrong.
I know many people who worry a lot about what people think, and I know many good people.
Rarely are they the same person.
Worrying too much about your reputation can be stressful, destructive, and counter-productive.
The concept is also a little morally backward, because you are worried about social acceptance, as opposed to the real issue.
It occasionally can be a tool for the good, if the correct mentality is used. Rav Miller a”h says that the mishna says to make tocho (the inside) kibaro (like the outside), and not vice versa.
This however, does not mean that one should work on the outside first, rather, if the external motivations are A) already present, and B) cause an action that is objectively good, than one should not stop the “faking,” rather, one should work on the inside to make it real.
Whether or not it is correct for you to go out Motzai Shabbos is a different question, that you need to ask a mentor who knows you. Nothing to do with what others think, more to do with you and how you think.
Yatzmich,
How do you know she is 15? Is it from the spelling and grammar?
I’m a little confused.
1. If you’re going alone or with your family to eat, then who will think you are hanging out with the crowd that happens to be there?
2. If your with your friends, but you plan on going to eat, and not talk with them, then people will still assume your hanging out with them, cuz you are.
If you are doing #2, obviously people will assume you’re there with the rest of the people, cuz you are.
If you do not want to be part of it, but you’re hungry, go to a non-hangy place or with one friend or sister. (Sadly, most people will not give you the benefit of the doubt.)
If I saw you sitting and eating from 10-3, I would think, that girl has problems.
Ender: I would guess he assumed her screen name included her age.
theres a place which is very convenient to eat at which is always full of teenagers standing outside, cheering etc at night starting at 7. (they’re not thinking of eating inside or eating full stop) i think its ok if ur a stable girl who goes with friends and keeps to urself since inside its not a hangout only outside…seems like its a good meeting place
whiteberry: ur missing the point! if a bunch of a mixed crowd is standing outside resteraunts on m.shabbos til early in the morning making a racket, does it look bad for a BY girl to go with friends at 8/9ish?? not to go at 3!!
ender: her spelling is rly good i would think she’s outta seminary!!!!!!!!!!
This same exact question always bother me! I am a 15 year old and I’m the type of girl who loves to go out to eat with friends every night. But recently, so many places have become hangouts that people say if someone sees you there, rumors are spread…! Anyone have a solution???
Knowitall
If you go out to eat every night you are a spoiled brat. Is this what teens do today?
Theres aa wonderful Ohr nava motzei shabbos prog. for girls 10 grade to 12 grade it is somewhere on ocean aave. and its free they have free pizza activities and amazing speakers if you come maby youll see me ther.!!sorry about my spelling
Im right your wrong
Do you spell like this on tests? Do they allow text speak on tests these days in skewlz?
I didn’t say I do…I said I’m the type that loves too..I do go quite often though! n yup this is what teens do these days! But now I go out less often since more and more places are becoming hangouts:(
I got the point. You like tpo eat, but are ashamed to do so publicly.
IWUW- this ohr naava gathering, do u hav to rvsp b4?
where is it located?
princess15: where abouts is the place ur talking about??
i think that going out to eat with friends (not an expensive/fancy place) is alot of fun and good spot for socializing an since motzai shabbos goes out early its convenient to do this…
princess15- i wouldn’t think you would be allowed to wtite text language in school so…
WIY- sorry its just that im a 16 year old girl with a litle case of dyslexia and no i never evin texted in my life. and so next time befor you judge people think if you really know the hole story- yes ill judge you that your a inisent 11 year old who just doesnt know., thank
puppy you just go when you want no reservations required look on ohr nava”s sight for the location i dont know the exaact one some wher between l and m and ocean ave.-does that make scence?
can someone explain what the problem with going out motzei shabat is? is it because boys and girls will be together or the time or what?
nem621:can someone explain what the problem with going out motzei shabat is? is it because boys and girls will be together or the time or what?
Do you care to read the thread before you comment?
Im right Your Wrong
I apologize. Most kids here who spell like you and worse dont have dyslexia.
If you want teens to stop hanging out at the Pizza store after shabbos, give them an alternate place to go without and learning or chessed obligations
Give them a place to go and shmooze with their friends and maybe have the pizza go to the place. Like a Beis Yaakov gym for girls and maybe the gym of a yeshiva for the boys.
If you want to stop it, You need to give an alternative choice and not one teens will reject because of rigidness. They are not learning or doing Chessed at the Pizza shops either
uneeq i did read it. i just don’t see a problem when you go to a place where there are people doing wrong things as long as you are not with them. for example my community bearly has any frum people does that mean i can’t live there? of coarse not as long as i am not like them.
i agree with zahavasdad except they should put some learning and some cuesed just in an informal sort of way. for example to have a rabbi in the gym and in between all the playing have a little shiur and maybe charge maybe like 25 cents more for the pizza each eats and give that to tzdaka
When I was a kid I spent almost every motzei shabbos hanging out at pirchei!While some might think that pirchei was for younger kids if you think about it- what it did was keep all of us teenage leaders constantly busy. Unfortunately Pirchei did not keep up with the change in times and basically in NY it is non existent( yes they still have some programs but it’s just learning programs that no one really cares about)WHAT A SHAME!
zahavasdad: they wouldnt want to go to a gym since its not mixed and its most boys and girls who are OTD who hang out and they hang out outside the pizza shop but u wont find any of them inside…they just hang out outside
sorry was a bit unclear…they just hang out on the street doing nothing in particular so it really would help if theres a program for them
im right your wrong: i checked it out on ohr naava’s site and they didn’t really give an address. would you be able to get it for me? also what are the hours? I’m really interested because besides for eating out, ice cream, shopping and not such kosher entertainment there is nothing to do motzei shabbos.tnx
Loveparty…
I am not naive and was a teenager once too, I know exactly what goes on. The problem is some “genius” is going to say, Have a Shiur for the boys or have a place the girls can do chessed, Like that is going to work.
I know people who let teenagers hang out at their house, they figure its better for them to hang out (in mixed company) in a place where they can be watched and in a safe place than a place where nobody is watching and who knows what goes on.
Loveparty
I agree with u sooooo much!!!! But I think that girls should not leave the house cuz it just attracts boys attention! They should stay home and help there mother!!!
Princess15
What are erlicha girls doing going out on motzei shabbas anyway?? Especially to hangouts?
k so ur gonna try sort something out?!
Why don’t u? U love to party sooo much!!!
cringe: wasnt talking to u anyway i was talking to zahavasdad… well back to u, do u help ur mother? do u never go out on m.shabbos? i like to be abit free…
Yes so do I! But u can be free in Your house
hmmm… yeah but i like to go to places with friends…
girls can go out no problem with that if you want to be very frum and say they can only hang out separated then say that but they can go out. i believe girls and boys can hang out together as long as their is no contact
Nem621
You can believe in aliens too but you would be totally wrong about that as well. Teenage Jewish girls and boys should not be “hanging out” together under any circumstances. There are many issurim involved. And if you think you can have them hang out and become friendly and yet prevent them touching there or outside someplace you are a fool and I dont like talking to fools so please confirm you arent a fool.
WIY wow that was scary… think she means that girls can hang out with good friends where there is a hangout…eg a restaurant where theres a hangout outside girls can go inside and mind their own buiseness
WIY i am not foolish i have proof that kids can control themselves
i am a teenager and i decided for myself to do tshuva and become shomer negiah
i know that not all kids are like that but i also know that when i prohibit male an females to publicly hang out in a clean way then they will do this in private which is already assur no matter what they do in this privacy
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