The marriage trade

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  • #607068
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    See, this is how it works.

    In a relationship, one of the parties is the one is in charge, and the other is the one who is not.

    To simplify things, a basic convention was adopted. We simply split it.

    So, during dating the guy is in charge. He decides when to call, when to go out, where to go, what to eat, how long to stay out, etc. He decides who to date, what she has to look like, who she has to be a daughter of, how much money she has to bring, etc.

    But after the wedding, it switches. Then the woman is in charge.

    The men think they have a great deal, because they don’t find out the second half until is too late. The women pretend to complain about the first half so that the unmarried men don’t get suspicious.

    The single men reading this won’t believe me. And the women will all complain vociferously.

    #910034
    SaysMe
    Member

    complain about your trying to incite people, yes. you really enjoy starting argumentative and controversial debates, but why? It can be funny for you to see others get riled up over your comments or turn your sarcastic into treason, but for the others who get insulted, hurt, upset, offended… is it worth it?

    #910035
    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    Not true. The man is in charge after marriage as well.

    At least for us frum people, the job of an ezer k’negdo is to be an ezer, only knegdo when it’s an issue of values.

    #910036
    basyechida nomore
    Participant

    I disagree. While we were dating, my (now) husband used to let me decide where we’d go, what we’d do. Even now that we’re married, it isn’t ever just one of us making all the decisions. That’s a ridiculous and baseless assumption.

    #910037
    shmoel
    Member

    The Torah says in Bereishis that a wife follows her husband’s rule.

    #910038
    uneeq
    Member

    Oh Popa, it could be much worse than that!

    I have to come up with the ideas for a date and she makes the decisions. It turns out that none of my suggestions are appealing to her, so we end up staying home and miserable.

    Ooh, how I dream that she would be in charge of the whole process!

    #910039
    Chortkov
    Participant

    Wolf – isn’t it your turn now to give us a rendition of your merits that earn you eternal damnation for letting your wife choose the date?

    #910040
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    Wolf – isn’t it your turn now to give us a rendition of your merits that earn you eternal damnation for letting your wife choose the date?

    Apology

    I don’t know what you mean by “choose the date.”

    In any event, as long as you dragged me into this, in our household, neither of us is the boss. Neither of us “pulls rank” on the other and neither of us would dream of making any major decisions without the support of the other.

    If you want to say that, because of this, my marriage runs counter to what the Torah wants, then you can say it. I’ll still not be changing my marriage.

    The Wolf

    #910041
    shmoel
    Member

    You won’t be changing because you disagree with that interpertation of the Torah or you won’t change even if you agreed the Torah unambiguously said you were wrong in doing so?

    #910042
    oomis
    Participant

    The Torah says in Bereishis that a wife follows her husband’s rule. “

    Yeah, that was in the days the husband was following Hashem’s rule that HE was to earn the parnassah while she had the children and ran the home. 😉

    #910043
    oomis
    Participant

    Mods, I have an OT question. I am having to continually log in in order to post, where I have checked the “remember me” box (or whatever it says), so I should not have to log in each time. Why is that happening?

    OT!!!!!

    So I think remember me means that it will populate the login box, but you still have to enter your password each time, unless you have your browser remembering that. I don’t think we have an option to “stay logged in”.

    #910044
    akuperma
    Participant

    popa_bar_abba: Are you married?

    #910045
    nishtdayngesheft
    Participant

    Something here reminds of a story.

    Some fellow dies and goes up to heaven. He sees there are two gates. One with a sign “henpecked husbands” and the other “not henpecked husbands”.

    He sees the line for henpecked husbands is unbelievably long. The other line has just one person there, lets call him ??? Lupowitz.

    The newly deceased person goes over ??? and says “Mr Lupowitz, you must be a very happy man, you are on this line”.

    ??? Lupowitz says back “sure, this is where my wife told me to stand”.

    #910046
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    You won’t be changing because you disagree with that interpertation of the Torah or you won’t change even if you agreed the Torah unambiguously said you were wrong in doing so?

    Does it matter? If you believe that my marriage is anti-Torah, does it matter why I do it? And if you don’t believe it’s anti-Torah, why should you care whether I change or not?

    The Wolf

    #910047
    shmoel
    Member

    Of course it matters. One line of thinking may be wrong but mistakenly so. The other — admittedly — purposely so. Which is it?

    (Another possibility is there is nothing wrong at all.)

    #910048
    SaysMe
    Member

    shmoel- drop it. And read the link the wolf posted.

    #910049
    Health
    Participant

    PBA -“But after the wedding, it switches. Then the woman is in charge.”

    Even if your implication is true all the time, which I don’t believe it to be (just some of the time) -I disagree with your post. You say if the men would know the truth -then you imply they wouldn’t get married. I do agree with you that some women are like this, but what makes you think their husbands’ wouldn’t have married them? These guys would marry them anyway -some because it’s a Mitzva and some because they need to be henpecked -they can’t make a decision on their own!

    #910050
    oomis
    Participant

    I don’t think we have an option to “stay logged in”.

    I didn’t have to log in THIS time – it happens compeltely randomly. SO it would seem that the option to “remember me” IS supposed to do just that.

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