Tagged: #LAKEWOOD #OUTOFTOWN
May 22, 2017 2:06 pm at 2:06 pm #1282622
i used to be in a Lakewood yeshiva, I was brainwashed that out of town yeshiva are bad and when i actually switch to out of town yeshiva I was really surprised
The kids were mature and know things or two about life, not like Lakewood kids who are sheltered and immature and don’t know anything about life.
I think people need to relax, and not shelter their kids!
Am i right?May 22, 2017 3:09 pm at 3:09 pm #1282683
You’re wrong. We certainly need to shelter our children from all the easily accessible trash from the street. They shouldn’t know much about mature material.May 22, 2017 3:09 pm at 3:09 pm #1282682takahmamashParticipant
Yerushalayim is in-town. Lakewood is, despite arguments to the contrary, OOT.May 22, 2017 3:31 pm at 3:31 pm #1282701BoysWorkParticipant
actually, Lakewood is another planet. In a galaxy many light years away.May 22, 2017 3:51 pm at 3:51 pm #1282708
People definitely need to relax. Its a hard balance what to shelter how to shelter gimme shelter. Too sheltered doesnt really work anymore cuz stuff are seeping in through all the cracks, a shame cuz there is nowhere completely safe anymore (even in yeshiva r”l). No shelter at all and a person gets swept away by the storm. The current is strong though, so parents are petrified that the little bit they give in will be dangerous.
Listen, the difference between ok and too late happens quickly without anyone realizing even the person himself. (btw, its a little silly to say all OOT yeshivas are bad, plus there are always tons people that dont fall into the “mainstream regular” (cough) category who should def go to another yeshiva)May 22, 2017 4:03 pm at 4:03 pm #1282774WinnieThePoohParticipant
Why do you equate being sheltered with being immature?May 22, 2017 6:22 pm at 6:22 pm #1282810apushatayidParticipant
Many horrible Yeshivas all over, including Lakewood. Many wonderful Yeshivas all over, including Lakewood.May 22, 2017 8:41 pm at 8:41 pm #1282925YW Moderator-29 👨💻Moderator
🚎May 22, 2017 8:52 pm at 8:52 pm #1282926
Because part of being mature is learning to live with your scars.May 22, 2017 9:03 pm at 9:03 pm #1282932LightbriteParticipant
RebYidd23 – What a beautiful look into the meaning of maturity! ~ Thank you <3May 22, 2017 11:11 pm at 11:11 pm #1282939
I don’t think you got my Q
I know there is trash in the streets but if u introduce it properly to your kids, they will understand.
But when it come to lakewood they just denied the fact that trash even exist, and when the kids grow up they get confused and one thing lead to the next…May 22, 2017 11:11 pm at 11:11 pm #1282945
Which yeshivos are horrible?May 22, 2017 11:12 pm at 11:12 pm #1282947
1. being sheltered has nothing to do with not living with your scars. It has to do with not taking on the scars of the outside world. You have enough of your own – you don’t need to add to them (I don’t mean you specifically – I mean all the “you’s” out there, inclucing me).
2. Children who are allowed to be children are more likely to be mature as adults.May 22, 2017 11:23 pm at 11:23 pm #1282948
Hock Master- in general, being sheltered is better. But everyone is different. That is why there are many Yeshivas for many types of kids. You have to go to the Yeshiva that is right for you.
My guess (although I could be wrong) is that the reason why being in a more “sheltered” Yeshiva didn’t work for you may be because you weren’t completely sheltered to begin with.
But whether or not that is the case, just because something didn’t work for you and doesn’t work for everyone doesn’t mean that it’s a bad system. For most of the kids I know who go to (or went to) Lakewood Yeshivas, it worked out great, and it was great for them that they were so “sheltered”.
But no one system will work for every single person. That would be impossible.May 22, 2017 11:49 pm at 11:49 pm #1283017rebshidduchParticipant
From what I heard from someone who was in a Lakewood yeshiva, it seems that OOT yeshiva are much more layed back. In the end of the day the guys who want to learn full time are the ones who become much more religious than everyone else and the ones who want to be more chilled become more chilled.May 22, 2017 11:49 pm at 11:49 pm #1282989
I was actually just about to point out that the term “sheltered” can mean different things. It can mean “not knowing things” or it can mean “not being exposed to things in an inappropriate way” (such as watching movies,etc.)
HockMaster, until I saw your last post, I was sure you meant the second meaning since having lived in Lakewood, I didn’t see it that way. But then again, it might depend who you know, and it’s all relative in any case.
If you had meant the second meaning, I would say it’s definitely better to be sheltered (and I think the Torah is quite clear on that). If you mean the first, I think it really depends on the person/family. I’m not sure if there’s a right or wrong here.
In terms of Yeshivas, everyone has to choose what’s right for him. There is no real right or wrong. The nisayon when one has a bad experience in one place and then finds a place that’s better for him is to remember that that doesn’t make the first place a bad place; it just means it wasn’t for you.
And by the way, there is no proof that kids who grow up more sheltered are more likely to go off the derech. I also don’t really believe that there are too many people who are so sheltered today that they don’t know enough about the world to realize that trash exists. I think it’s almost impossible to be that sheltered.May 23, 2017 12:32 am at 12:32 am #1283047
In places like Kiryas Yoel, New Square, Meah Shearim, etc., they do a wonderful job keeping the children sheltered.May 23, 2017 8:00 am at 8:00 am #1283108Bocher613Participant
since i am from out of town i can tell u that we are/it is a better place to be from and liveMay 23, 2017 11:37 am at 11:37 am #1283348
since i am from in town i can tell u that we are/it is a better place to be from and liveMay 23, 2017 11:38 am at 11:38 am #1283345
i want to say shcoiech to velt
helped me alot !
im maskim @Lilmod Ulelamaid
#stayingfrumMay 23, 2017 11:40 am at 11:40 am #1283360
🙂May 23, 2017 11:40 am at 11:40 am #1283359
I grew up out of town and actually what I liked about it was the fact that it was way more sheltered than in-town is. But I think things may be different today in some ways. But in certain ways, out-of-town is probably still more sheltered than in-town is even today.May 23, 2017 11:49 am at 11:49 am #1283375
I grew up sheltered from the outside world but not enough from the inside world. If I had gone to public school, I’d probably be much better off.May 23, 2017 12:08 pm at 12:08 pm #1283395
In many in town areas, a child could never leave a frum environment.May 23, 2017 3:09 pm at 3:09 pm #1283516
The real world is the the beis medrsh lets not forget that. I am in no way pushing to be sheltered but the reality is that not knowing whats going on in the world (not in a shmutz sense but in a ignorant sense) isnt as important as people like to believe. But definitely people need to relax and if youre taking a vote then r i vote ur right and lack of world inoculation to the young is hazardous.May 23, 2017 4:01 pm at 4:01 pm #1283532SteveWallzParticipant
CoolMay 23, 2017 4:03 pm at 4:03 pm #1283544
RY, if you’d have gone to public school you’d probably be eating treif and driving on Shabbos, by now.May 23, 2017 4:03 pm at 4:03 pm #1283564
Joseph, that’s depressing.May 23, 2017 4:03 pm at 4:03 pm #1283535SteveWallzParticipant
oy yoy yoMay 23, 2017 4:06 pm at 4:06 pm #1283690
Joseph, my reply was to your previous post. And why do you think public school would turn me unfrum? If anything would do that, it would be the frum schools.May 23, 2017 4:25 pm at 4:25 pm #1283781
Wait, did you just repeat your previous post at me?May 23, 2017 4:36 pm at 4:36 pm #1283806
sup steve?May 23, 2017 5:17 pm at 5:17 pm #1283872
RY – the vast majority of kids who go to Frum schools stay Frum. Kids who go to public school usually don’t, or at least became less Frum. Of course, there can be exceptions depending on both the kid and the school, but that is the exception, not the rule.
It sounds like your school was not the right place for you (or maybe it wasn’t a good school in general), but that doesn’t mean that you should have gone to public school – it probably means that you should have gone to a different Frum school.
Too bad you didn’t go to my school – not only can I not think of any Frum kids from my school who stopped being Frum, a very large percentage of the not-Frum kids became Frum.
My sympathies for your bad experiences 🙁
I hope you can find a way to undo any damage done and find an environment/community that you don’t need to be sheltered from. They do exist.
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