Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › Truisms and guidelines that only we know
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August 1, 2011 9:46 pm at 9:46 pm #598351bptParticipant
And sometimes violate.
The idea for this thread came to me from a post on another thread (the “fear of getting old”) so if it sounds familiar, that’s why.
OK, so here’s the premise. We (meaning the frum world) have our own special way of trendsetting that the world at large either misses or simply does not connect with. Ways and methods (some very funny!) we use separate the ones who “get it” from the ones who are clueless. I’ll start:
If your hat brim is wider than your tie bib, you are a cool dude. If its the reverse, you are most likely a senior citizen.
If you wear suspenders or wear a belt, you are within the fashion safety margin. If you wear both (at the same time) the sirens you hear coming closer have your name on it!
To be assured your clothing is up to par, your shirt should cost more than your trousers (think: Brooks Brothers, Paul Fredrick, ect)
Any other ideas?
August 1, 2011 9:58 pm at 9:58 pm #890765Another nameParticipantbpt, you sound like you’re doing a good job all on your own 😉 Keep going!
August 1, 2011 10:11 pm at 10:11 pm #890766bptParticipantI’ve got a few that pertain to makeup, but will hold off till I see what else gets posted.
August 2, 2011 2:41 am at 2:41 am #890767ItcheSrulikMemberIf you show up for shabbos mincha with a tie you’re a nerd. This despite the fact that anyone showing up to shacharis without a tie is clearly weird, a verdict worse than anything a court can hand down.
August 2, 2011 2:46 am at 2:46 am #890768HachamMemberThat depends. In a Chasidic shul you shouldn’t be wearing a tie ever. In a Yeshivish shul you should always be wearing a tie on Shabbos. You must be referring to the beinenim.
August 2, 2011 3:00 am at 3:00 am #890769ursula momishMemberMen’s yarmulkas get larger as their bald spots get larger. Their hat brims grow wider to keep things in proportion. (The real reason women cover their hair? So they never have to suffer a bad hair day. I love the Torah!)
My husband insisted that we move to a Chasidishe neighborhood just so that he wouldn’t have to wear a tie to shul anymore.
August 2, 2011 4:43 am at 4:43 am #890770MiddlePathParticipantImplications of a Yeshiva student in correlation with his Davening jacket:
A) If he wears it all day- He is either: More reserved, indecisive, cold, trying to be ultra- religious, hiding something “assur” in his jacket, or thinks his jacket is super cool.
B) If he wears it draped over his shoulders- He is either: Trying to be cool, trying to be practical, trying to look busy, or thinks his jacket is super cool.
C) If he only wears it by davening- He is either: Comfortable without it, trying to fit in, doesn’t like his jacket, trying to give off an impression that he’s not ultra- religious, or thinks his shirt is super-cool.
D) If he doesn’t wear one at all- He is either: Cheap, not used to wearing a jacket, too hot for a jacket, trying to give off the impression that he doesn’t like following set rules, or thinks his shirt is ULTRA-cool.
August 2, 2011 4:35 pm at 4:35 pm #890771bptParticipantItche –
That is so true in today’s arena, but back in the 70s the teens wore ties to mincha, and the old folks did not!
What goes around, comes around 🙂
Middle Path –
Great assessment! You came really close to opening the brim up / brim down envelope. (For the record, we fall into the A and C categories)
August 2, 2011 5:31 pm at 5:31 pm #890772MiddlePathParticipantbpt- Thanks! For the record, I used to be in category C, for the reasons of trying to fit in, and I didn’t like my jacket. Now, I’m in category D…because I think my shirts are ULTRA-cool!
August 2, 2011 6:46 pm at 6:46 pm #890773bptParticipantUltra cool, but cool enought to wear your shirt untucked? And tzitzis out?
I did not ask, but we ARE talking white shirts, right? (not that colored shirts are a problem, but I want to know who to look for at Walmart)
August 2, 2011 7:17 pm at 7:17 pm #890774aries2756ParticipantMiddlePath,
A) He lost the last one and got his last warning
B) Forgot he put it there
C) Was told he will be kicked out if he doesn’t
D) Lost the last one he owned.
August 2, 2011 7:19 pm at 7:19 pm #890775aries2756ParticipantWhere do the leave house in white shirt and change in the car fit in?
August 2, 2011 7:20 pm at 7:20 pm #890776MiddlePathParticipantIf I’m wearing slacks, I usually have my shirt tucked in. If I’m wearing khakis, it’s usually untucked. And no, we’re not talking white shirts, we’re talking shirts of all colors. I only wear white shirts on shabbos.
Aries, thank you! Those are perfectly valid reasons as well.
August 2, 2011 7:42 pm at 7:42 pm #890777bptParticipantA) He lost the last one and got his last warning
Great answer!
(but could you clarify the “change in the car” point?)
Colored shirts it is! (secret: I wear them too)
August 2, 2011 7:59 pm at 7:59 pm #890778mamashtakahMemberIf you show up for shabbos mincha with a tie you’re a nerd. This despite the fact that anyone showing up to shacharis without a tie is clearly weird, a verdict worse than anything a court can hand down.
Very few people wear ties at all here. In fact, I’m proud to say that I have not worn a tie for any reason over the past 4+ years.
August 2, 2011 8:50 pm at 8:50 pm #890779minyan galMemberPersonally, I have never worn a tie.
August 2, 2011 8:50 pm at 8:50 pm #890780aries2756Participantbpt, trying to fit in wherever you are.
August 2, 2011 8:52 pm at 8:52 pm #890781bptParticipant“I have not worn a tie for any reason over the past 4+ years. “
Hmm, so does that mean:
You’re chassidish?
You’re Carlbachian?
You’re refusing to wear the white mans’s leash on society?
August 2, 2011 11:05 pm at 11:05 pm #890782ItcheSrulikMemberbpt: Or he’s Israeli. They never wear ties.
I still haven’t figured out peyos, jeans, tzitzis out, not chassidish. I’d say chardal but the guy in question is American and not Zionist at all.
August 3, 2011 1:55 am at 1:55 am #890783bortezomibParticipantthis thread is REALLY confusing! Why are guys so into their weird subconcsious, subtle fashion statements which are, btw, COMPLETELY lost on any girl?!
Here’s something maybe more girls can relate to, about makeup
a- If you’re wearing too much makeup (easily identifiable) you either
1. went on a date last night
2. had a wedding last night and didnt want to take it off because it looked so good
3. told everybody you had a wedding last night but really you went on a date
4. WANT a date.
b- If you’re wearing light makeup (blush, eyeliner, some mascara) you’re trying to look good without looking like you put too much effort into looking good
c- If you’re not wearing makeup you either
1. are making a statement about your opinion on how untzniusdike makeup is
2. had 3 minutes from the time you woke up (late) till you had to run out of the house
3. are suffering through a 3 day yomtov
August 3, 2011 2:25 am at 2:25 am #890784Boro Park GirlMember“had a wedding last night and didnt want to take it off because it looked so good”
I don’t see the problem with this. I keep my makeup on after weddings and it stays very nicely.
August 3, 2011 3:09 am at 3:09 am #890785bortezomibParticipantNever said there was a problem with keeping on makeup after a wedding. I do it all the time
August 3, 2011 7:03 pm at 7:03 pm #890786bptParticipant“I keep my makeup on after weddings and it stays very nicely.”
Ah, so that explains the people I see in Bochner’s wearing a Florida turban, a housecoat, and a Lancome face.
August 3, 2011 7:18 pm at 7:18 pm #890787tracht gutMember“I keep my makeup on after weddings and it stays very nicely.”
I would never to that!! So you ppl dont even wash ur face when u wake up??
August 3, 2011 7:52 pm at 7:52 pm #890788bptParticipantWash is off in the morning? After getting a $75 make-up job??!!
August 3, 2011 8:12 pm at 8:12 pm #890789tracht gutMemberno wonder some ppl are so sleepy eyed in the morning…
now i get it!
August 3, 2011 9:21 pm at 9:21 pm #890790mommamia22Participantbpt…. LOL!!!
August 3, 2011 9:37 pm at 9:37 pm #890791Boro Park GirlMemberWhen I have make up on, I just dab a little water to wash off eye makeup that ran.
This is also what I do on Shabbos cuz I do my face before and it stays until Shabbos is over and I wash it off.
August 3, 2011 10:55 pm at 10:55 pm #890792aries2756ParticipantAnd now all the men know the secrets of make-up. Can we move on to maybe………
What are the truisms of Flat tires, running out of gas, or changing the oil?
August 4, 2011 2:01 am at 2:01 am #890793mommamia22ParticipantWhen a woman is expecting and showing, we say b’shaah tovah, and not congratulations…..
August 4, 2011 2:06 am at 2:06 am #890794mommamia22ParticipantHow about this one (for the ladies): dressing your kids the same ……..cute
Finding yourself dressed the same as another woman at a simcha….. Disaster! (it happened to me. I wore a very different looking dress to a chassunah, and saw another woman wearing the same one (very noticeable). We agreed to try to stay on opposite sides of the room that evening. Can you imagine? How petty!
August 4, 2011 2:28 am at 2:28 am #890795EnglishmanMemberForgive my impudence ma’am, but if I saw someone wearing the same suit and tie as myself I’d be more than happy to sit next to him at any wedding without giving it another thought. More than likely I wouldn’t even have noticed unless it was pointed out. So please do explain what the big deal is if another woman is wearing the same dress as you at a wedding.
August 4, 2011 2:33 am at 2:33 am #890796☕️coffee addictParticipantenglishman,
i guess the saying should go “the clothes make the woman”
August 4, 2011 2:34 am at 2:34 am #890797ronrsrMemberWhen a man walks into a room and sees that all tje other men are wearing the same thing as him, he thinks “aha, I got it right!”. (finally)
August 4, 2011 2:46 am at 2:46 am #890798ursula momishMemberJewish men tend to dress the same, at least within their groups. So at a yeshivishe wedding, the chances of sitting next to a man (or a tableful of men) wearing the same suit, tie, hat, glasses, socks, shoes, and cufflinks are millions of times greater than the chances of sitting next to a man or men wearing noticeably different garb.
Women, however, while they want to wear ALMOST the same dress as their friends/neighbors/children do not want to wear the EXACT same dress because then they are afraid others will compare them and think the other woman looks better in it, or they will find out they paid full price while the other woman got it 75% off.
August 4, 2011 2:54 am at 2:54 am #890799mommamia22ParticipantWhen a woman “dresses up”she wants to feel “special”. Her being/feeling special is diminished if there are others who either look like carbon copies of her, or may actually wear an outfit better than her (people might compare the look on the two of them. Imagine an architect building this amazing small scale model of a fabulous building, something he expects will wow others. He then walks into the room and finds an exact duplicate of his project right in front of him! The appreciation of his masterpiece will surely be diminished by the sheer presence of another in the room. Get it???
August 4, 2011 4:17 am at 4:17 am #890800kapustaParticipantc- If you’re not wearing makeup you either
1. are making a statement about your opinion on how untzniusdike makeup is
2. had 3 minutes from the time you woke up (late) till you had to run out of the house
3. are suffering through a 3 day yomtov
4. Do not believe in wearing makeup unless you’re off to a wedding.
(I don’t think its a tznius issue (usually), I just think its a waste of time/effort)
momma, I think you described it well.
August 4, 2011 7:50 pm at 7:50 pm #890801bptParticipant“What are the truisms of Flat tires, running out of gas, or changing the oil?”
Ok, Uncle, UNCLE! (Boy, Aries you go for the jugular, don’t you?)
“diminished by the sheer presence of another in the room”
Good point, MM22. I never thought of it that way. Still, doesn’t explain why 99% of the masterpieces all decide to wear black, (but since I’m still licking my wounds from the beatdown I just got from Aries, I’ll just leave it at that.)
August 4, 2011 8:46 pm at 8:46 pm #890802adorableParticipantdo you mean you really go to sleep with a dirty face full of makeup? are you that lazy in the morning. the only time i go to sleep with makeup on (besides shabbos and yom tov) is when I leave on the eye makeup but the face part almost never stays really nice
August 4, 2011 8:48 pm at 8:48 pm #890803HaLeiViParticipantIf you ran out of gas you either:
Are extremely cheap, and figured you have another half a mile left from the 30 mile warning.
Or, your has gauge is broken, and you just found that out.
Or, gas gauge is broken, you fill up after a certain amount of miles but somebody reset the counter.
The last two happened to me.
August 4, 2011 10:05 pm at 10:05 pm #890804bptParticipantIf you run out of gas, its because you thought you could FOR SURE make it into NJ, and save the $2, $3 on the fill up.
Mind you, this same person will drop $5 on chips and a coke in the NJ gas station, thereby blowing his $3 savings, but thats another truism
August 5, 2011 4:52 am at 4:52 am #890805Another nameParticipantbpt, still waiting with great anticipation for your makeup post.
August 5, 2011 3:22 pm at 3:22 pm #890806adorableParticipantbpt- can you tell us what you think about the women’s things like makeup? I have a feeling you have a lot to say but ur just not saying it yet.
August 5, 2011 5:13 pm at 5:13 pm #890807kylbdnrMemberEWWW sleep with makeup?!?!
I always take it off…it can give you eye problems – the eye doctor told me that…
I come home after a wedding and take a good shower, including my hair.
August 5, 2011 8:32 pm at 8:32 pm #890808Derech HaMelechMemberthis thread is REALLY confusing! Why are guys so into their weird subconcsious, subtle fashion statements
Women, however, while they want to wear ALMOST the same dress as their friends/neighbors/children do not want to wear the EXACT same dress because then they are afraid others will compare them and think the other woman looks better in it, or they will find out they paid full price while the other woman got it 75% off.
August 8, 2011 1:35 pm at 1:35 pm #890809bptParticipant” still waiting …. for your makeup post. “
” can you tell us what you think about …. makeup ”
Are you kidding? After the petch I got from Aries? Not to mention the Mods just waiting to whip out the EDIT stick.
No, I think I’ll give the makeup topic a wide safety zone.
Can’t be too careful nowadays!
August 10, 2011 9:18 pm at 9:18 pm #890810bptParticipantOK, now that Tisha b’Av is behind us, let the wisecracks begin!
Food – why you can never eat just the right ammount:
At Mom’s house =
Eat too much, and your wife looks bad
Eat too little, and Mom thinks you’re sick
At Shvigger’s house =
Eat too much, she sends home 2 weeks worth of the stuff (gulp!)
Eat too little, and you hear the flak from shivgger, via your wife
September 14, 2011 2:27 pm at 2:27 pm #890811bptParticipantTime to revive this one.
Truism:
No matter what time the zman is, some of us will always be stepping out of the shower when the 2nd siren goes off.
September 14, 2011 4:35 pm at 4:35 pm #890812adorableParticipantyou mean friday afternoon?
September 14, 2011 6:25 pm at 6:25 pm #890813bptParticipantyes, Friday afternoon. I’m not sure if areas outside of Bklyn have one, but we have an air-raid siren on top of one of the central bldgs, and when that siren goes off, people across the area go into overdrive.
Mind you, Erev Shabbos is one of the most predictable deadlines out there. Yet for some reason, many of us (myself included) are always racing the clock, and seem surprised when we discover that there is only 5 minutes left till Shabbos.
Go figure.
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