Wedding Costs

You should ask cshapiro she would know.

funny just wants to know what s/he is up against 🙂

Why does a wedding have to cost so much

Why cant you just have a small affair in a backyard. Maybe get married in a shul and then go to a restaurant. Maybe with some taped music. You can get a restaurant for $30 a plate.

Just because everyone else does it, doesnt mean you should

if ur not planning on getting married and wont have kids to marry off why do you wanna know? and if you are planning on it I would tell you to go ahead with it and just dont overspend….

And if all your daughters friends drove Bently’s does that mean you should get her one too.

Why should anyone spend $50,000 on a wedding that they cant afford and need a 3rd mortgage on a house.

And if you daughter insists on it, then let her pay for it

i find weddings so annoying- but before you jump on me let me explain. They are all the same. There is nothing PERSONAL about the chuppa… nothing personal about the dancing. the guests usually wanna be home taking care of things- not at the wedding all dressed up…. and the chosson and kallah are enjoying but not enough for it to all be worth it. I went to a stunning Defardi wedding last night and was hooked. they are so beautiful. The chuppa has tonz of singing and its so much more personal. the kallah gets into a suit and hat at the end and came back in to dance and it was just stunning. I really thought it was so so so much nicer. (and cheaper- they dont serve a meal its all buffet)

Seriously How is someone with 10 kids 5 and 5 who learns in Kollel all day and a wife who is a teacher at a Bais Yaakov type School supposed to pay $50,000 for a wedding per kid

My in-laws Alehem Hasholom, got married in Bergen Belsen in 1945, They would have been happy with hot dogs and hamburgers.

For 100 ppl, I would go with Yeshiva Chaim Berlin Elementary, on I and East 13 (?).

The food is good, the caterer is a pleasure to work with, and they have a school yard where you can set up a chuppa with seating.

Figure about $65-$75 per couple (depending on what you want to serve) so you’re looking at around $3000-4000.

All told, by the time your’re done with the add-ons (like a band) and it will run you about $7000-9000.

Not a bad deal for something that lasts a lifetime!

Adore –

Re-read the post. What he said is No (comma), (I’M) planning on it either way.

And yet again we see why good grammar is important. When you aren’t used to reading good grammar, when you see it you get all confused.

haifa- its not the grammar that wa the issue- i barely read the post

I would love to have a smaller, less expensive, and more personalized affair for my wedding. But I think girls in general want something fancy, so whatever my bride would want is what I would try to do. (Of course, there may be some compromising.)

People always say Dont learn from the Goyim, but I think this is the PERFECT place to learn from the Goyim

Most goyim have simplier weddings and many elope. Only the wealthy have wedding as large as jewish weddings.

one of my dad’s workers is Indian and just made/is making (dont remember which) a wedding for her daughter/son and invited her boss (my father). the invitation was THICK textured card stock, the folder for the invitations (7 invites cuz the celebration happens over 7 days so each day had a dif invite for thats days party) came in a fancy envelope and the whole invitation is given with a pashima scarf and box of chocolates (in this case, ferrero chocolates). now what were you saying that goyosh weddings were cheaper? and this was the invitation only! we looked online at the wedding hall and it was no cheap place either! in this case, i think i prefer the jewish wedding, even with the attitude of keeping up with the klien’s. imagine having to keep up with this!

taking a break: Indian weddings are incredibly elaborate and do last for days. In many of their “circle” it is traditional to give gifts of gold – meaning large cash gifts a/o jewellery.

Aries: I am surprised at your Toronto wedding experience. I have been to several there and they are very generous with food. The only disappointment I ever had a TO wedding was when my cousin got married. I can’t remember what the entree was, but the dessert was some type of pale pink sorbet. At about ten o’clock when I expected a pastry/fruit table, they served coffee and more of the same sorbet – this time in fuschia and a plate of very goyishe cookies (1 per person) at each table. I had my taste buds primed for a piece of torte and I was sorely disappointed. I think if I had known there was no pastry table, I might have given a smaller gift.

Almost two years ago, my intended, now my wife and I threw a party for all our friends. Our goal was to have a really good party at which there just happened to be a wedding. It cost us, with clothing, cars, invitations, food, music, etc., just a smidge over $10,000 for 55 guests.

I typeset and printed our own ketubah which we later had decorated by an artist friend ($150 for printing costs and buying fonts, $150 for the artist; her work was partially a wedding gift to us.)

My suit came from TJ Maxx, and her dress came from a yard sale. We borrowed the talis for the chuppah from a friend. We had the ceremony in a park ($25 permit fee) and the reception at a new and lovely VFW hall in our neighborhood ($400). I designed and typeset the invitations and had them printed at vistaprint ($100). We asked people to RSVP by phone or email.

The entertainment was supplied by a 4-piece klezmer band ($1500). Those guys really made the wedding. I’m so glad we didn’t use recorded music or a DJ.

We had a really good and meaningful time. The wedding was very dignified, the bride looked lovely. She had no attendants and was walked to the chuppah by her mother and daughter.

It only took a few weeks to prepare. I personally picked up all the out-of-towners at the airport and train station. Both of us got to sit and speak meaningfully with everyone who came to the wedding, and we still get raves about what a wonderful and personal affair it was.

There was a hot buffet ($5500, with all the silverware, plates, glasses, tablecloths, etc.) and an open bar ($160 total, my family doesn’t drink much), and the VFW hall served our kosher wine and champagne for only $5/bottle). Miscellaneous tips ($300).

Other costs included: Mesadar Kedushin (Rabbi) – $600 or $650. One large rental car for shuttling guests around, about $150. Tailoring for my suit, $40. An uncomfortable pair of shoes for me: $50. Flowers (bridal bouquet, corsages for the mothers) about $150. COntributions to Mazon, about %600. Photography was done by a friend of my wife who did it as a gift in exchange for airfare from California and four days of food and lodging ($400). There was a bottle of wine for the ceremony and the glass, and that was about $15.

Our mothers threw a brunch the next morning for our guests, I”m not sure what that cost.

All-in-all it was a wonderful, fun and dignified wedding that had our very personal touches on every aspect.

The real traditional Jewish wedding is one where people would put on the best clothes THEY CURRENTLY OWNED and walk out to a field or synagogue with their friends and relations, set up a SIMPLE chuppah, have the ceremony in accordance with the law of Moses, break a glass, provide a little music, food and booze for the guests, and that was it.

The whole WHITE DRESS business, etc., is relatively new, even in the goyish world. Queen Victoria started that whole shtick not even 200 years ago, and it was a tremendous boon for a huge wedding industry.

I have to say that I don’t really have fun at most large weddings. It’s noisy, hard to talk, there’s too much food and the emcee or badchan is just trying to hard to stuff too much entertainment down our throats.

The real pleasure I get at a wedding is from seeing a nice couple get married and chatting with my friends and relations. Everything else is superfluous.

Idk prices bec our parents are taking care of it but lol goq….i also didnt read every post but I just wanna let u know most halls have a minimum, our problem is that our guest list exceeds the maximum… end of the month is cheaper in many halls, not so sure why tho….some halls have takana night which is like a package deal but very low key….

phillybubby-no, I was just using it as an example of how disappointed I was that there wasn’t a sweet table at this particular wedding. I am quite certain that the amount of planning and the amount of money spent for this wedding was equal to or possibly exceeded that of the wedding of Kate and Prince Willy – or so the groom’s mother (my unbeloved cousin)still keeps talking about. BTW, this wedding was over 20 years ago and she is still talking about it. The chassan and kallah would have been happy to elope or have it in a park, but the mothers would not hear of it.

Since when does the guy give silver candlesticks and pay for shaitel?!

Girls get men a watch.

you don’t say where the wedding will be, which city state, etc. In Chaim Berlin it is much less than $65 a couple, it is about $45 and the hall holds many more that 100. However it is usually used for bar mitzvos. There are a few halls in Brooklyn where you can make a wedding relatively inexpensively. Try Sason v’simcha on Coney Island ave, Torah V’yirah on Fort hamilton ave. In Lakewood you can try Bais Faiga. Hatzlocha Rabbah!