#Wedding $ savers

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  • #614049

    #Recently I was at a wedding and I was noticing the bentschers on the table. They are all Beautiful, no question…. But, raise your hand if you have a shortage of bentschers in your house????

    I feel like this system should be changed….

    A) It is causing more shaimos

    B) It is a holy waste of money. People are all so busy with cutting down on almost necessities, here’s a true easy way to save a couple hundred without making the simcha any less.

    But, you say we need to betnsch, true.

    Let every hall have laminated bentscher cards to use time and time again….

    #1037819
    TheGoq
    Participant

    Can you imagine how crusty and disgusting those cards will get after just 50 weddings, most people at any one table don’t bentch at any one time just limit the amount per table, alot of people have devices they can do their bentching on, as far as spending alot on the logo and design and the pretty borders you are right that can be dialed back.

    #1037820
    adams
    Participant

    it’s a great idea, but’s it’s a very small item overall.

    I have heard in some communities the Shmorg is very simple, a fraction of a fraction of what is done in NY area. In my experience, people just go along with ‘what is done’. A real individualist will make it in a Yeshiva Cafeteria ( I know someone who did so); and have a 1 man band.

    this is not going to happen virally. Most people are able to find someone to help them, but if not, I would do like in a Yeshiva.

    #1037821
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    But some people like to spend money.

    #1037822
    adams
    Participant

    RY, that’s sort of the problem. the others who can’t afford, go into debt to make the same basic wedding. So the thinking is, the wealthier should scale back, but that’s not going to happen.

    I would not have been able to afford but have one sibling who can help out. Otherwise I would have told the other side we can’t do this and that. Probably they would have paid the full thing I would think. But it’s not a good way to start the marriage thank G-d we are all getting along well and thank G-d there are grandchildren.

    #1037823
    ivory
    Member

    In the grand scheme of expenditures benchers are a very small expense

    #1037824
    Chortkov
    Participant

    In London there is a Gmach for Bentchers which they give out for Chasunas, Sheva Brochos, Bar Mitzvahs, etc. Laminated pages, so they are easy to clean.

    #1037825
    mazal77
    Participant

    Thanks for starting this thread, as I see this is a problem and it has been bothering me for sometime. If you have made a simcha, you WILL be left with tons of bentchers. Most people do not want to take the bentchers home anymore. After making 2 bar mitzvahs, I had about 75 leftover from each party, (mind you we only ordered 100 per Bar Mitzvah. ) I am now left with 150 bentchers from our boys, not including the hundred accumulated through out the years, so it is probable, I have 300 hundred bentchers in my home. Of course, no one else wants them. My only recourse to dispose of them is to eventually give them to Genizah,I beg my family do not dare bring home any bentchers from any occasions they go to. I really think, that Gemachs are needed to prevent the needless amounts of Genizah, this is causing. I feel bad for those in the business, but sad to say, most of those bentchers will be put in Genizah.

    #1037826
    zalman
    Participant

    I’m not able to sleep at night because of the bencher crisis

    #1037827
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    But people who buy benchers aren’t forcing others to do the same.

    #1037828
    Randomex
    Member

    You’ve got a good #point, Hashtagposter. What’s holy

    about wasting money, though? Did you mean unholy?

    zalman:

    Good one! (And congratulations on your 8-year veterancy!)

    RebYidd23:

    But people who buy benchers aren't forcing others to do the same.

    Correct, but they’re creating a situation in which others feel pressured to do the same. By your logic, no one can be asked not to conspicuously consume.

    Then again, given your “argument” above, “But some people like to spend money,” I’m not sure I’m supposed to take you seriously here.

    I’ve seen bentshers that are just stiff cards with one fold, with only bentshing on them – they probably cost less, and there’s a lot less to them when it comes to disposal.

    #1037829
    dunno
    Member

    There are so many options other than benchers. Siddurim, tehillims, etc.

    #1037830
    ivory
    Member

    If your worried about saving money benchers can cost less than a dollar a piece, siddur im and tehillims i assume would be much more

    #1037831
    Randomex
    Member

    dunno:

    Those might sound a little more useful now, but if everyone started having them…

    Also, I assume that they’d cost more in most cases.

    #1037832
    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    There are so many options other than benchers. Siddurim, tehillims, etc.

    Artscroll Shas, Shulchan Aruch, new Tur, etc.

    Seriously, even at $2 each and 200 benchers, $400 is a drop in the bucket for a wedding. Making a “Takana” wedding (one man band, <400 guests, small shmorg, etc.) and a girl who doesn’t need a brand name shaitel will save real money.

    #1037833
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    I don’t think it makes sense to choose a girl based on her sheitel budget.

    #1037834
    dunno
    Member

    You’re right. My comment was directed more to those who said they have hundreds of benchers at home.

    #1037835
    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    When my sister died her former classmates bought a bunch of very nice, durable bentchers and started a bentcher gmach in her name.

    #1037836
    vayoel moshe
    Member

    You can just print benchers without zemiros and only benching those are a lot cheaper

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