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To the opening poster: How tall are you, your sons and your grandsons?
@SQUARE ROOT, want to get married? stop focusing how bad the system is and maybe you will find your prospects to be better, no one likes a whiner..
as reported in YWN:
Rabbanim And Roshei Yeshiva Gather In Far Rockaway As Plan To Solve Shidduch Crisis Gains SteamNow the crises is solved!
SQRT, was it the same female? single then, widowed now, back in shidduchim?
in 1925 the IQ level was greater than it was in 2025, they did not have people doing random copy and paste
common, you are not right. IQ was growing ~ 30 points in 20th century, about 3-5 points every decade. From about 1995-2000, IQ seems to be declining 2-3 points per decade. I don’t think chatGPT will change the trend, it will just make it less important whether your IQ is 80 or 120 – you’ll write a similar report using chatGPT. Below 80 and you won’t use chatgpt and above 120, you’ll write better than chatgpt, at least for now.
No the reason fat girls and short boys don’t stand a chance cuz we don’t let people meet naturally. Controlling how people meet each other is just pathetic. We live in a real world. And with the right values a person can meet whoever they want to marry on their own. Who makes shidduchjn not us. G-d does. This insane control creates a society hat’s so stuck in its box there’s no natural communal life that goes on just each person stuck in their own little is located world. Adults need to meet adults to create communal life. Even if your not marrying someone. This resume and bs gatts go..can we bring back biblical marriages where people just find someone they like and that’s it. Instead of this horrid FBI investigations and lack of respect for people. Disgusting it’s so sad what we have come to and yet we don’t care. Only care how much we control things. What’s that tu baav thing they did in biblical times? Time to bring that back. Let the men and the woman choose their own partners like nature intended. This entire system is bs
Common saychel stop being so stuck up in your cushy marriage that your parents put you in. So proud you walked in blindly like a child cuz you couldn’t make your own choices. Don’t make fun of someone who can’t stand the system and has no way to find someone without being humiliated.
Avirah dearah. woman don’t stay pretty throughout marriage due to childbirth and blah blah. If someone is looking for a perfect wife he’s gonna have to find a second one quick after she has the first child
Cs and then she got married and realized that attraction is way more important then personality. I bet a thousand dollars slot of these girls looking for “learning” boys find the “perfect” match on paper and then realize that you also need comparability and attraction. How many people stuck in marriages with spouses they married but aren’t attached to. I see mismatches everywhere
none > We live in a real world.
I hear the real world is catching up with us. (again, I hear) that girls ourdays do not consider it polite to be asked their phone number. Instead, they prefer to get a social media handle so that they can do investigation first. Things that are wrong with the resume system: (1) it emphasizes easily measurable quality – from height to yeshiva name, encouraging people to spend their life enhancing their resumes, (2) they mostly go through shadchanim who also do quick match based on those parameters and value speed – friends and family should be more proactive , sending resumes out in circles around them.
*compatability
Always ask questions what about word of mouth and faith oh and dating.
I want to say one thing about weight loss everyone is different and every person has value. I wonder if people who are overweight are a lot kinder and more accepting of others cuz they had to learn to get through all the social villifications and accept themselves also every single person deserves to get married as they are no offense to find someone who cares about them. Not just how they present themselves. ARelationship needs shared values compatibility. And respect to work. It’s really not that complicated. If two people meet and love each other’s company…I mean it’s not that complicated.
We live in such a presentation obsessed society you can’t breathe here. Like everyone relax.
none2: weight loss everyone is different and every person has value.
of course. But given weight statistics of the population, we can conclude that a large portion of the population is not in control of their urges or do not care about their health and marriage prospects. Same goes for men who have no job prospects. A specific person might have his own reasons, but statistically speaking, they do not care about supporting their families or expect government, whether zionist or goyishe, to take care of them. Short men are somewhat different, unless their parents starved them. Some people anecdotally reported seeing much shorter population in Jewish enclaves, possibly due to diet and lack of vitamin D, but as it would affect both boys and girls, this might not be a source for a shidduch problem.
That is a very cruel statement who are you to judge others. And I’ve never met someone who can’t control their apitite have you. Stop looking down your nose like your better. Don’t judge another until you walk in their shoes. Once your there you’ll understand the hardship these people may or may not face. For the record weight loss is not always an eating problem but am underlying issue that get exasperated by _alot_ of the poisons in our system, like alot of chemicals in the food and water which all have endocrine disrupting chemicals causing problems with hermones and causing weight loss issues. Please stop judging when you barely know the struggle people may or may not go through. There’s a fine line between arrogance and cruelty
Also the problem with you and everyone else is you act like shidduchim is a marketplace. And people need to sell themselves to make it. So sad. People are humans and it’s sick how we treat singles and force themselves to sell themselves disgusting. It’s like slavery. Hmm not this slave. He’s too fat. No not that slave. Hes to thin. Ok I’ll buy this one. Disgusting. We dehumanize people. You do not need anything more then compatibility attraction and mutual interest to make a respectful lasting relationship. We just uh make ourselves think its more then that for some dumb stupid sick reason
Weight loss issues are not due to overheating lol. It’s due to lack of exercise, bad gut bacteria, hermonam.imbalances. lack of fat to burn said calories, thyroid issues. Lol
none2.0- I truly feel bad for you. You seem very bitter about life and specifically the frum culture.
You seem to think that most people are bad and only out for themselves.
You are missing the beauty. No one has a perfect life, and everyone is trying their best.
I really think that it might be a good idea to work on yourself before coming here and start bashing everything that’s wrong with people and with the Frum lifestyle.
Additionally, you are in a victim mindset; get out and make something of yourself.
Don’t rely on others to make you happy; you will never be happy that way unless you are happy with yourself first.
Know that I am not trying to put you down, based on your posts, this is the feeling I am getting.
I apologize if I hurt you, but if this helps you in the long term, it will have been worth it.Amom did you read anything I wrote or you just feel bad. What a condensing way to talk to someone. I feel bad for you too that you can’t read something without feeling bad n
I hear you amom. I won’t negate what your saying but, what your saying doesn’t negate what I’m saying and you don’t need to feel bad for me. Thank you.
Also amom. Please. I do not know one person that doesn’t feel humiliated by the shidduch system. Not. One .person. And nobody says anything I’m sorry but I’m not going to sit on the fence and I’m sorry I’m not going to say this kindly or lightly or without “hurt” this is something that actually affects many people on a very deep level and if that makes me sound ,”hurt” why do you care? If a person doesn’t have emotions and doesn’t get angry at injustice what are you human for. Oh I’m so sorry that I sound so hurt. Go fly me a kite. Maybe I’m taking on collectively the advert cruelty this has on so many people. Maybe I carry collectively this hurt and rage because I actually bother to say something. The system needs to change sorry and if it means I sound ‘hurt” when I say it. Too bad on you.
Also amom I never used the shidduch system and _i_ feel this way about it. What does that tell you? I’m sorry I’m allowed to be angry and hurt about things I’m human. Are you? I’m so “hurt” you don’t get about injustice. So you don’t stand for anything in so happy for you. Which drug do you use to make you not feel anything? Adderall?
“I truly feel bad for you” how condescending. I’m so glad the system worked for you. Lol you got married clearly before you can’t think. Mommy held your hand. Sorry that doesn’t work for adults that like to have freedom to choose who they marry. Handholding is not for adults. thank you
Amom did you read what j said and see how relavant it is or are you stuck on feeling so “bad” for me. I don’t need your sympathy. Keep taking titallan ok. Because j don’t believe sitting on the fence and not feeling angry at injustice helps humanity n
None 2.0- I apologize, I did not mean to hurt your feelings, but I disagree with you. Anger doesn’t help anyone- it only hurts you.
And while I have and had my fair share of struggles in life, that I don’t care to share with you, along with struggles in shidduchim, I try to use my struggles to grow as a person. One way to start is by looking for the blessings in your life and not relying on others to make you happy. Happiness is solely in your hands and not dependent on your circumstances. And b”h I am not knowledgeable in the meds that are out there to make one not feel as I have never needed one- nice try at the jab though.
And I do think that problems with the shidduch system are being discussed plenty, so I’m not sure why you feel you need to take it on. Seems like it’s only making you miserable along with some other topics your busy with.
On another note, the way G-d made me is that I am more logical (I do have emotions, though) than emotional, so I probably will never understand why you feel the way you do.
Hope your anger DOES help bring justice to the world.Yori not hurting my feelings I understand where you are coming from i just don’t understand why people say those things when someone has feelings about something that hurts them deeply or is affected by something in reality. I mean if you saw someone beating up someone you’d also say the person who gets angry at the event and stand ups to the bully is hurt? I get you but I don’t get it. Lol
Anger absolutely helps everyone when it’s necessary. Anger is actually a good thing when used properly like standing up for something wrong. If you didn’t have anger at injustice you’d be lulled into compliance by anyone. Is this like physiclogical babble talking that your saying all these backwards things by I might have to start living in real life to see whether what you believe is true cuz anger is very important
What you try to do and what I try to do are different. I don’t sit on the fence like you. I say something and yes when people are held accountable there are changes even small changes. I mean for example if I stand up to someone beating up someone else that person can’t beat anyone up. Can you believe it. I hear your point but I don’t let myself wallow in my misery and take people garbage just cuz society told me to be a good little sheep and be quiet. The system Is. _unfair_ and as long as it’s unfair I will use my voice to make it known that it is _wrong_ absoltly wrong. If I don’t say it? Who will?
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