May 3, 2011 6:09 pm at 6:09 pm #596629
bang ur head into a wall?
squeeze a stress ball?
vent to a million ppl?
give urself pep talks?
I need ideasMay 3, 2011 6:39 pm at 6:39 pm #764455
Where do u live?May 3, 2011 6:41 pm at 6:41 pm #764456ShrekMember
people in the CR get angry?!
Not mekabel!May 3, 2011 7:01 pm at 7:01 pm #764458TheGoqParticipant
i love stress balls i have a collection at my desk i have a turtle,giraffe, koala, a hammer, a paint brush, a penguin and a cow in a gray suit.May 3, 2011 7:02 pm at 7:02 pm #764459
I come to the CR and post things that show I am frustrated and then they get deleted and then I get even angrier but that is the way it goesMay 3, 2011 7:39 pm at 7:39 pm #764460WolfishMusingsParticipant
Lately? I just sit and stew. Eventually it subsides. If it doesn’t, it becomes a rant here.
The WolfMay 3, 2011 8:09 pm at 8:09 pm #764461TikkunHatzotMember
I have some stress balls which I squeeze…..except their not really stress balls, they’re grenades dressed up like stress balls. And I don’t really squeeze them, I just pull the pins & throw them at the people that made me angry. Hope this helps.May 3, 2011 8:11 pm at 8:11 pm #764462seeallsidesParticipant
keep repeating-this is going to pass-and i will get calmer.lot of deep breathingMay 3, 2011 8:16 pm at 8:16 pm #764463mewhoParticipant
rotten tomatoes are less expensive then grenades. less destructive too.
🙂May 3, 2011 10:15 pm at 10:15 pm #764464
Not necessarily in this order:
1.hot shower (wash the anger away),lively or relaxing music
2.Tell myself:”I’m gonna DO something constructive about this”
3.vent to a close friend/mentor
4.Talk to Hashem about the matter–at least He can really help
5.If overtired–yell and make a fool of myself for a few minutesMay 3, 2011 10:59 pm at 10:59 pm #764465workingParticipant
Usually not something I am proud of.May 4, 2011 12:27 am at 12:27 am #764466mosheroseMember
Someone who gets bkaas is like he worshiped avoda zara. Dont do it.May 4, 2011 12:35 am at 12:35 am #764467mischiefmakerMember
vent and vent till its all out 🙂May 4, 2011 12:53 am at 12:53 am #764468brotherofursParticipant
realize that whatever i’m angry about was planned by Hashem and i can can’t be angry with Hashem’s decision because it’s all for the best. and then prayMay 4, 2011 1:41 am at 1:41 am #764469StuffedCabbageParticipant
stamp…im a marrching band.May 4, 2011 1:58 am at 1:58 am #764470Y.S.G.F.K.Member
put very loud music on my ears and go away from everyone in a quiet room and just relaxMay 4, 2011 3:17 am at 3:17 am #764471aries2756Participant
Honestly it depends what it is and who it is I am angry at. Most of the time I just tell myself “this too shall pass”.May 4, 2011 3:21 am at 3:21 am #764472smartcookieMember
Um….no one here yells?May 4, 2011 4:10 am at 4:10 am #764473kapustaParticipant
Depends on the source of the anger. Sometimes vent, sometimes just get involved in something else to get my mind off it.May 4, 2011 4:24 am at 4:24 am #764474commonsenseParticipant
call a good friend and vent, thanx friend!May 4, 2011 4:29 am at 4:29 am #764475
smartcookie…read the last few words of mine!:)May 4, 2011 10:00 am at 10:00 am #764476123bubbyParticipant
when i get mad- i dont suggest anyone be next to me!!! I yell rip, ruin, stamp and cry!!!!!! ( ireally need to work on my anger managment!!!)May 4, 2011 11:39 am at 11:39 am #764477
smartcookie – never 😉
i’m guessing s2021 wants better ideas than just yelling or maybe she just wanted us to confess our sins to her.
so, s2021 – what did you want? to know if we’re human also or if sometimes we contol ourselves and work on our middos?May 4, 2011 1:18 pm at 1:18 pm #764478TikkunHatzotMember
“Someone who gets bkaas is like he worshiped avoda zara. Dont do it.”
By the way….I was joking about my ‘grenades’.
BTW, I’ve heard 2 rabbis explain that a person getting angry is not just “like” someone who practices avoda zara, but it IS practicing avoda zara.
Also, I remember my rabbi telling me that in kabbalah you should NEVER break anything out of anger. Even cracking a pencil. Very bad. Ask your local sephardic rabbi for details…May 4, 2011 1:48 pm at 1:48 pm #764479
By the way….I was joking about my ‘grenades’.
thanks for clarifying. 😉May 4, 2011 3:42 pm at 3:42 pm #764480
Tikkun- I heard cracking pencils is a sign of being mentally deranged..
Bina- :). Im not much of a yeller and even if I was I didnt have anyone to yell at so I needed ideas of what to do..
Being angry gives you alot of adrenaline.. and I dont have a tredmill so…May 4, 2011 3:54 pm at 3:54 pm #764481dancinggirlMember
i get all quiet and need to bealoneMay 4, 2011 4:06 pm at 4:06 pm #764482tomim tihyeMember
“Sh’foch chamos’cha el hagoyim…”
I used “eitzim v’avonim” instead. Right before Pesach, I slammed my dryer door instead of my child, so my anger cost me $100.
Which is immeasurably less than a broken child.
When I’m really angry and it’s not Erev Pesach, I write a venomous, hateful letter to the subject of my anger. I read it to myself then rip it to shreds, pretending it’s the person.
For me, it works best to feel the rage, not squelch it.
I’m basically a happy, resilient person, so, like all negative emotions, after I’ve allowed myself to feel it, the anger subsides quickly.
People who internalize anger tend to destroy themselves when angry.
People who externalize anger tend to destroy others when angry.
Being a member of the latter category, I try to isolate myself when I get angry to avoid damaging others.
When the anger subsides, I can feign anger to communicate my feelings with the person who provoked me.
Jumping on the rebounder or going for a walk also work well for me.May 4, 2011 4:07 pm at 4:07 pm #764483BSDMember
The first 10 seconds after being angered is the most critical. Get past that constructively and you can probably steer yourself rationally to a good conclusion. Never make any decisions when you are being influenced by anger. You will most likely regret the results. There are 2 steps in my opinion.
# 1: Put things in perspective- everything is from H-shem. The same gracious H-shem that gives us so much (learning to count your blessing is a prerequisite for this) also gave you this potch in his infinite wisdom. This should help to intellectualize it. In order to get your emotions back in check…
# 2: Do something distracting and enjoyable-go onto the cr, listen to some great music etc. Anything to get your mind off of what happened and focus on something else. Then let time do the rest.
Good luck!May 4, 2011 5:02 pm at 5:02 pm #764484
An idea that helped a lot:
I give a mini-shiur on “Remove Anger From Your Heart” (translated into English by Zev Reichman) to a small group of friends once a week…we all feel it’s brought siyata dishmaya to our tests.
It’s a beautiful book.May 4, 2011 5:10 pm at 5:10 pm #764485
Can I join? lol
Ill check it outMay 4, 2011 5:19 pm at 5:19 pm #764486
eclipse- if you would charge for all your services you would be a rich ladyMay 4, 2011 10:23 pm at 10:23 pm #764487HLMMember
I beleive you can’t be angry with lively (happy) music. Even if you’re really NOT in the mood and want to be angry, hearing that music forces (well, at least me) not to be mad.May 5, 2011 12:36 am at 12:36 am #764488
adorable,if you live around “here”,drop by! You too,s2021.
And whoever else!May 5, 2011 4:48 am at 4:48 am #764489boredinofficeParticipant
i go off on my own and internalize what caused it. Try to change the reaction for next time. But I find it most relaxing to be on my own for some timeMay 5, 2011 6:41 am at 6:41 am #764490
walking briskly, doing a puzzle, or writing, writing, writing, until the anger burns off.May 5, 2011 6:42 am at 6:42 am #764491
eclipse – soon you’re going to know everyone in the CR. 🙂May 5, 2011 1:26 pm at 1:26 pm #764492
I know only Papa Bear (a female),i am here(female),and I know that smartcookie knows me,but I actually have no idea which of 75 students she is!!May 5, 2011 1:28 pm at 1:28 pm #764493
Oh and 2 old(young) neighbors.May 5, 2011 4:08 pm at 4:08 pm #764494
eclipse- what is here? crown heights?May 5, 2011 4:09 pm at 4:09 pm #764495
eclipse: 🙂May 5, 2011 4:30 pm at 4:30 pm #764496ZeesKiteParticipant
“Here” is the ritzy neighborhood of Flatbush, as she indicated! Let my imagination run wild; heavily guarded complex, tall walls, no phones, YES INTERNET (with wireless router). Helicopter crashing area…May 5, 2011 9:14 pm at 9:14 pm #764497
Why do you say Crown Heights? It’s funny a few times when I went shopping with a snood I was asked that.
Nope….Flatbush. Pollution Heights (and depths).Sorry New Yorkers!:)May 5, 2011 9:29 pm at 9:29 pm #764498
eclipse- what about you come here! LOL this is the country side….May 5, 2011 9:38 pm at 9:38 pm #764499
ZK…please explain?May 5, 2011 9:53 pm at 9:53 pm #764500goldenkintMember
baruch Hashem i have afew close people i can vent to. sometimes i scream , sometimes smoke comes out of my nostrils and i smoke like a dragon. its all well and good to say that you should avoid anger becuz its avoda zara. try saying that to someone who is already angry, its too late. if something happens which makes me so mad that i see red, then i’m already past the point of being rational and the best thing i can do for myself and the world is go hide until i feel better. i know someone who used to go to the roller coaster just so they could scream their head off legitimately and feel so relieved later. personally it sounds as appealing to me as pulling out your own toenails, but whatever works for you and doesn’t hurt anyone else and isn’t an aveirah, i say go for it.May 5, 2011 10:06 pm at 10:06 pm #764501always hereParticipant
“HLM:I beleive you can’t be angry with lively (happy) music. Even if you’re really NOT in the mood and want to be angry, hearing that music forces (well, at least me) not to be mad.”
same for me. I only get angry very rarely, B’H. music does the trick for me, too.
altho’ at the 2nd Seder, when someone had drunk too much & grabbed for another bottle of wine (my fave), after being told not to drink anymore, I did yell at him to put it down. even my son-in-law said that he’s never heard me yell before.May 5, 2011 10:15 pm at 10:15 pm #764502goldenkintMember
what a compliment, being told that they’ve never heard you yell before. of course that dependes on how long he’s in the family and how often he sees you. iMay 5, 2011 10:23 pm at 10:23 pm #764503always hereParticipant
lol, goldenkint! thank you. he’s been in the family for over a year & we see them very often. he’s been a very close family friend since 2008.May 5, 2011 10:28 pm at 10:28 pm #764504600 Kilo BearMember
I usually react pretty mildly, which is why I never got anything more than a class C felony assault with a deadly weapon charge (that resulted in six months at the Rikers Island Motor Inn) when I get angry in public.
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