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bang ur head into a wall?
crack pencils?
squeeze a stress ball?
vent to a million ppl?
give urself pep talks?
I need ideas
people in the CR get angry?!
Not mekabel!
i love stress balls i have a collection at my desk i have a turtle,giraffe, koala, a hammer, a paint brush, a penguin and a cow in a gray suit.
I come to the CR and post things that show I am frustrated and then they get deleted and then I get even angrier but that is the way it goes
Lately? I just sit and stew. Eventually it subsides. If it doesn’t, it becomes a rant here.
The Wolf
I have some stress balls which I squeeze…..except their not really stress balls, they’re grenades dressed up like stress balls. And I don’t really squeeze them, I just pull the pins & throw them at the people that made me angry. Hope this helps.
keep repeating-this is going to pass-and i will get calmer.lot of deep breathing
rotten tomatoes are less expensive then grenades. less destructive too.
🙂
Not necessarily in this order:
1.hot shower (wash the anger away),lively or relaxing music
2.Tell myself:”I’m gonna DO something constructive about this”
3.vent to a close friend/mentor
4.Talk to Hashem about the matter–at least He can really help
5.If overtired–yell and make a fool of myself for a few minutes
Usually not something I am proud of.
Someone who gets bkaas is like he worshiped avoda zara. Dont do it.
vent and vent till its all out 🙂
bs”D
realize that whatever i’m angry about was planned by Hashem and i can can’t be angry with Hashem’s decision because it’s all for the best. and then pray
stamp…im a marrching band.
put very loud music on my ears and go away from everyone in a quiet room and just relax
Honestly it depends what it is and who it is I am angry at. Most of the time I just tell myself “this too shall pass”.
Um….no one here yells?
Depends on the source of the anger. Sometimes vent, sometimes just get involved in something else to get my mind off it.
call a good friend and vent, thanx friend!
smartcookie…read the last few words of mine!:)
when i get mad- i dont suggest anyone be next to me!!! I yell rip, ruin, stamp and cry!!!!!! ( ireally need to work on my anger managment!!!)
smartcookie – never 😉
i’m guessing s2021 wants better ideas than just yelling or maybe she just wanted us to confess our sins to her.
so, s2021 – what did you want? to know if we’re human also or if sometimes we contol ourselves and work on our middos?
“Someone who gets bkaas is like he worshiped avoda zara. Dont do it.”
By the way….I was joking about my ‘grenades’.
BTW, I’ve heard 2 rabbis explain that a person getting angry is not just “like” someone who practices avoda zara, but it IS practicing avoda zara.
Also, I remember my rabbi telling me that in kabbalah you should NEVER break anything out of anger. Even cracking a pencil. Very bad. Ask your local sephardic rabbi for details…
By the way….I was joking about my ‘grenades’.
thanks for clarifying. 😉
i get all quiet and need to bealone
“Sh’foch chamos’cha el hagoyim…”
I used “eitzim v’avonim” instead. Right before Pesach, I slammed my dryer door instead of my child, so my anger cost me $100.
Which is immeasurably less than a broken child.
When I’m really angry and it’s not Erev Pesach, I write a venomous, hateful letter to the subject of my anger. I read it to myself then rip it to shreds, pretending it’s the person.
For me, it works best to feel the rage, not squelch it.
I’m basically a happy, resilient person, so, like all negative emotions, after I’ve allowed myself to feel it, the anger subsides quickly.
People who internalize anger tend to destroy themselves when angry.
People who externalize anger tend to destroy others when angry.
Being a member of the latter category, I try to isolate myself when I get angry to avoid damaging others.
When the anger subsides, I can feign anger to communicate my feelings with the person who provoked me.
Jumping on the rebounder or going for a walk also work well for me.
The first 10 seconds after being angered is the most critical. Get past that constructively and you can probably steer yourself rationally to a good conclusion. Never make any decisions when you are being influenced by anger. You will most likely regret the results. There are 2 steps in my opinion.
# 1: Put things in perspective- everything is from H-shem. The same gracious H-shem that gives us so much (learning to count your blessing is a prerequisite for this) also gave you this potch in his infinite wisdom. This should help to intellectualize it. In order to get your emotions back in check…
# 2: Do something distracting and enjoyable-go onto the cr, listen to some great music etc. Anything to get your mind off of what happened and focus on something else. Then let time do the rest.
Good luck!
An idea that helped a lot:
I give a mini-shiur on “Remove Anger From Your Heart” (translated into English by Zev Reichman) to a small group of friends once a week…we all feel it’s brought siyata dishmaya to our tests.
It’s a beautiful book.
eclipse- if you would charge for all your services you would be a rich lady
I beleive you can’t be angry with lively (happy) music. Even if you’re really NOT in the mood and want to be angry, hearing that music forces (well, at least me) not to be mad.
adorable,if you live around “here”,drop by! You too,s2021.
And whoever else!
i go off on my own and internalize what caused it. Try to change the reaction for next time. But I find it most relaxing to be on my own for some time
walking briskly, doing a puzzle, or writing, writing, writing, until the anger burns off.
eclipse – soon you’re going to know everyone in the CR. 🙂
I know only Papa Bear (a female),i am here(female),and I know that smartcookie knows me,but I actually have no idea which of 75 students she is!!
Oh and 2 old(young) neighbors.
eclipse- what is here? crown heights?
eclipse: 🙂
“Here” is the ritzy neighborhood of Flatbush, as she indicated! Let my imagination run wild; heavily guarded complex, tall walls, no phones, YES INTERNET (with wireless router). Helicopter crashing area…
Why do you say Crown Heights? It’s funny a few times when I went shopping with a snood I was asked that.
Nope….Flatbush. Pollution Heights (and depths).Sorry New Yorkers!:)
eclipse- what about you come here! LOL this is the country side….
ZK…please explain?
baruch Hashem i have afew close people i can vent to. sometimes i scream , sometimes smoke comes out of my nostrils and i smoke like a dragon. its all well and good to say that you should avoid anger becuz its avoda zara. try saying that to someone who is already angry, its too late. if something happens which makes me so mad that i see red, then i’m already past the point of being rational and the best thing i can do for myself and the world is go hide until i feel better. i know someone who used to go to the roller coaster just so they could scream their head off legitimately and feel so relieved later. personally it sounds as appealing to me as pulling out your own toenails, but whatever works for you and doesn’t hurt anyone else and isn’t an aveirah, i say go for it.
“HLM:I beleive you can’t be angry with lively (happy) music. Even if you’re really NOT in the mood and want to be angry, hearing that music forces (well, at least me) not to be mad.”
same for me. I only get angry very rarely, B’H. music does the trick for me, too.
altho’ at the 2nd Seder, when someone had drunk too much & grabbed for another bottle of wine (my fave), after being told not to drink anymore, I did yell at him to put it down. even my son-in-law said that he’s never heard me yell before.
what a compliment, being told that they’ve never heard you yell before. of course that dependes on how long he’s in the family and how often he sees you. i
lol, goldenkint! thank you. he’s been in the family for over a year & we see them very often. he’s been a very close family friend since 2008.
I usually react pretty mildly, which is why I never got anything more than a class C felony assault with a deadly weapon charge (that resulted in six months at the Rikers Island Motor Inn) when I get angry in public.
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