What makes a person "real"?

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  • #592708
    hudi
    Participant

    What about a person earns them the title of a “genuine, real” person? Is it the way they act? How they dress? What they say? Or just certain key middos? What do you think?

    #702770
    blinky
    Participant

    not two faced

    #702771
    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    Cognito ergo sum

    (I know, not Yeshivish)

    #702772
    hudi
    Participant

    gavra – I looked that up on wiki 🙂

    “I think, therefore I am”

    #702773
    artchill
    Participant

    A person who has his/her core beliefs and sticks with them, no matter what is at stake. A person whose principles are more valuable than money.

    #702774

    A person who acts the same way online as in “real” life.

    #702775
    Poster
    Member

    Aperson that doesn care what society says, and they dont have diff voices depending on who they are speaking to

    #702776
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    What do you mean by a “genuine, real” person? I really don’t know what you’re getting at.

    The Wolf

    #702777

    its a phrase that many people commonly use. i think hes asking what do people mean when they use it?

    i think it is generally meant as non-hypocritical. a person whos actions are in synch with his words

    #702778
    bombmaniac
    Participant

    “Cognito ergo sum”

    its Cogito ergo sum. not cognito

    #702779
    bpt
    Participant

    Consistancy. I read a great thought from Rav Alpert a few weeks back:

    People have 3 facets:

    The public one

    The one Hashem sees

    The potential (meaning what is this persons’ true capacity)

    Noach is mentioned by name 3 times in the 1st posuk, because all 3 factes were in sync.

    So I guess that’s a good goal to aim for

    #702780
    WIY
    Member

    hudi

    Real means you are the same in and out. You do what you say, say what you mean and act on what you believe is correct. You don’t just follow the crowd uunless you believe the crowd is right.

    #702781
    hudi
    Participant

    Wolf – I’m the one asking the question 😉

    A person who isn’t fake.

    #702782
    shimmel
    Member

    A person that his mouth and heart work together:)

    When he’s saying “It’s so nice to see you” he means it!

    A Fake person will say “its wonderful to see you” and mean “OH you’re the last person i just wanted to see” …

    #702783
    SRPsych
    Member

    A genuine, real person is that Rav/Morah you had as a teenager, when the world was just starting to take on hues of gray, who’s whole being reflected the very ideas they taught you.

    #702784
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    A person who isn’t fake.

    Fake in what respect? Every person is “real” to some extent or other, if only by virtue of the fact that they actually exist.

    Since you are the one asking the question, please define what you mean by “real” and “isn’t fake?”

    The Wolf

    #702785
    random1
    Member

    The fact that you are on this website asking “what makes a person real?” shows the lack of genuity on your part. How is the fact that 25-50 ppl are going to say an opinion make something more or less real? Want to be real? Stop focusing on nonsense like asking these ridiculous questions. Also, the question is far too ambiguous. Real what? Real by your standards? real in what regard? a real athlete can be someone who jumps through the roof. You are probably talking about a “real person,” right? well the same way you can define the word normal in 10,000 ways so too you can define real.

    #702786
    Sacrilege
    Member

    “A Fake person will say “its wonderful to see you” and mean “OH you’re the last person i just wanted to see” …”

    …because wouldnt it make that person feel amazing if you told them how you really felt.

    Hey, sometimes in life you have to wear different hats, too bad if one of them is Politician.

    #702787
    hudi
    Participant

    wolf – I think that being real “real” or “not fake” (which is just the opposite) means to show yourself to the world as is, as long as other people aren’t getting hurt in the process. To come out completely, without facades, the same person inside your house and outside your house. You aren’t embarrassed to be yourself, you don’t follow people like you’re in a mindless cult, but you really think for yourself. That’s just part of it. I’m trying to get a complete picture of what it means.

    random1 – I’m perfectly capable of looking up a word in the dictionary. However, some things can’t be defined easily, and that’s why I’m asking the question here.

    Shimmel and Sacrilege – That’s a question I’ve had for a while that’s quite hard to answer. Do you choose honesty or not hurting another person? Some will say, that you are allowed to lie for the sake of shalom. But where do you draw the line?

    #702788
    WIY
    Member

    Sacrilege

    One may not say “how great to see you if they don’t mean it.” Its flattery as well as sheker, gnaivos daas…

    Politician and liar is synonymous. If you aren’t thrilled to see them, just say hi without the so great to see you business.

    Being a politician is the epitome of fakeness.

    #702789
    Sacrilege
    Member

    Well then we can put that under my bad traits, I’m a liar.

    I will always try to make someone feel good about themselves no matter what my personal feelings are.

    I make no excuses for it.

    #702790
    WIY
    Member

    Sacrilege

    You are not a liar (to my knowledge) and I am not calling you one. However, there is good in everyone. But to say to someone unintelligent, “Oh you are so smart” or to say to someone who has a bad sense of humor “oh you are so funny!” is disingenuous and flattery. One may not do that. Compliment a person on what they are truly good or what they truly possess.

    #702791

    I think a real person is someone who is sincere, truthful and kind. Real people have middos, and accept people as they are. In the world today the real person is as rare as a genuine diamond. Perhaps one has to become polished and shine once again.

    #702792

    “Real” people (to me) are “genuine” in the way they smile, act to you, talk to you… Doesn’t mean they cannot have different “faces” for different situations… but the “realness” is in the not making you feel “patronized” (or flattered etc.).

    #702793
    Sacrilege
    Member

    WIY

    Those werent the examples, the example was “So nice to see you!”

    #702794
    shimmel
    Member

    In general i’m an honest real person, I try to compliment people where they deserve it. Every person has something nice about themselves , try to find it and acknowledge it.

    F.E.If i dont like someone’s new dress i wont say “It’s Awsome” but i will acknowledge the fact that they have a new dress and i’ll say “Oh, you’re wearing something new” and most of the time the person will say “thank you” and take it as a compliment, No need to be fake to be nice..

    But, Dont be brutally honest!!!!!….;)

    #702795
    HaLeiVi
    Participant

    To those who don’t understand or have a problem the original question,

    This is a term that people use. The question is, what is its usage. I don’t recal using it myself, because it’s not a ‘real’ description. But I would say that it refers to the kind of person who has his own ambitions, the person who isn’t afraid to keep himself company. This is much more than just saying the truth or not being two faced. A person is more of a real person, so to speak, when his actions are based on his own plans and he’s aware of himself. The opposite of this is someone who always tries to elicit a laugh from anyone; who in a sense doesn’t live for himself; who depends on others for his identity.

    #702796
    WIY
    Member

    Sacrilege

    “Those werent the examples, the example was “So nice to see you!””

    In that case smile, try to give a genuine smile that will make them feel good and say hi. If its not really nice to see them then you shouldn’t say it.

    #702797
    Sister Bear
    Member

    Someone who is genuine in everything they do. You feel like they really care about what they’re talking about or you have their full attention when you are talking to them. Someone who is down-to-earth and may be a great person but is still easy to relate to.

    #702798
    bein_hasdorim
    Participant

    If when you pinch them they respond by slapping you,

    they’re real enough.

    Disclaimer:

    When trying this method, if you’re a guy, i suggest you pinch someone from the same gender which will only get you beaten up as opposed to arrested. If you are bruise free, don’t worry, there’s medication for that sort of thing.

    #702799
    HaLeiVi
    Participant

    The kind of person that makes people feel good is the one that actualy means it. That is the real trick: to first tell yourself or think so in the first place, and then tell the guy Devarim Hayotzim Min Halev. I know people who spray wonderful words at everyone, and I have a very hard time talking to them. You just know when someone is saying something because the words are nice.

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