What to do to the chazzan who takes too long for hallel

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Viewing 41 posts - 1 through 41 (of 41 total)
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  • #599995
    Bar Shattya
    Member

    mod 42 says “take [your aravos] out and whack them against the chazan”

    One person I respect suggested we should throw our esrogim at him.

    What are your suggestions? Should someone go up, place his shtender next to the amud and go louder and faster?

    I think this is a situation of “Kanoim pogin bo”.

    #818579
    2scents
    Participant

    Nothing. Stand like a mentch your in a shull. Its a house of prayer!

    Find yourself a minyan that davens with your desired speed.

    #818580
    zahavasdad
    Participant

    Why not yell

    Anah Hashem Hoshea Nah?

    #818581
    adorable
    Participant

    I think its hard for him to behave when hes frustrated

    #818582
    Jothar
    Member

    Bar shatya is frustrated because he lost his nechasim, and every time he reads about the nesachim in the laining he gets confused and thinks they are his.

    #818583
    Toi
    Participant

    just dont make the bimah nifgam if you throw your esrogim.

    #818584
    YW Moderator-42
    Moderator

    On Shabbos Chol Hamoed the minhag is to throw siddurim instead of esrogim or aravos

    #818585
    Jothar
    Member

    The mishna says they threw esrogim at a certain tzeduki who did the wrong nisuch hamayim. josephus mentions astory where they pelted Yannai hamelech with esrogim, who got his revenge by ordering a massacre.

    #818586
    Bar Shattya
    Member

    zahavasdad

    I think you may be on to something. Perhaps the anshei knesses hagdolah foresaw the “toavei hashem” (e.g. the gevah lev) who would cause us to die from embarrassment of association so they placed a tefillah that we should live till the end of hallel.

    #818587
    bpt
    Participant

    Start a new song with the guys (or girls, depending on your shul) in the back row.

    Nothing gets a chazzan’s attention faster than competetion

    #818588
    good.jew
    Member

    Call him a jerk?

    #818589
    BaalHabooze
    Participant

    we had a chazzan go too long on Hoshana rabba one year, so my uncle (everyone has ONE uncle who does these things) gave him a ‘gezunteh shtoch’ in the rear with his lulov during Hoshanas! Wheeew, did he burn some wicked laps around the shul for the rest of the davening!! l tell ya, I’d put down any money he still feels that poke till today….LOL

    …y’know what they say; desperate times calls for desperate measures.

    #818590
    chanie
    Member

    Stand next to him and daven louder then he does!

    #818591
    2scents
    Participant

    What bunch of mean people!

    Politley tell him to accelerate.

    #818592
    Toi
    Participant

    daven at an earlier minyan, go to his house and eat all the food at his seuda. he’ll be sure to shave an hour off his time 2nd day YT.

    #818593
    AinOhdMilvado
    Participant

    If he’s shlepping just a bit, grin and bear it.

    If he thinks he’s HaSh-m’s gift to chazzanus, and he’s really going overboard, maybe try discreetly going up to the bimah or shtender where he’s davening and putting your watch next to his machzor. Hopefully he’ll take the hint.

    #818594
    working
    Member

    We are lucky enough to have the opportunity to say Hallel and Hoshanos. If it is too slow for you, stay home.

    #818595

    i know you are all joking, or at least, that is my sincere hope, but come on people! i’m with 2scents here. you all sound really mean!i thought ur all better than that! even if you don’t mean it, it just doesn’t sound nice. and besides, behind every little joke, there is a bit of truth…

    #818596
    ItcheSrulik
    Member

    1- Get everyone who already finished to dance around him singing ???? ?? ??? ??? ????

    2- Scream Ana Hashem Hoshiya Na

    3- Take a clock off the wall and put it over his siddur. (Don’t use a watch. you won’t get it back)

    4- Start krias hatorah/hoshanos without him

    5- Sing ???? ??? when he finally finishes.

    #818597
    ItcheSrulik
    Member

    6-Flip him over backwards (minhag chabad)

    #818598
    bpt
    Participant

    ” go to his house and eat all the food “

    Good one, Toi!

    #818599
    mexipal
    Participant

    leave and make a breakaway minyan outside. when everyone leaves he’ll get the hint

    #818600
    Bar Shattya
    Member

    He might not notice if everyone left. I was once at a minyan where many of the people were sitting down or learning waiting for the toavas hashem to finish his show.

    #818601
    minyan gal
    Member

    Personally, I love Hallel – the longer the better, because at my shul that means more singing and the tunes we use are beautiful. The Chazzan could take a half hour and it would be fine with me. I love any holiday that has a full (as opposed to Hatzi) Hallel.

    #818602
    bezalel
    Participant

    at my shul that means more singing and the tunes we use are beautiful.

    Are you trying to recruit us?

    #818603
    2scents
    Participant

    Bar shatya, he might not notice thatg you left. However you have accomplished what you need. Which is that you will finnish early.

    Who cares if the chazon realizes it or not. Unless your in for some attention.

    #818604
    Toi
    Participant

    jo- its a tosefta.

    #818605
    Jothar
    Member

    the poskim write that an overly shleppy chazzan can be removed. V. mishna brura 529:1.

    #818606
    lakewoodbt
    Participant

    dont go to minyan

    #818607

    It depends how long he’s taking. If he has the chutzpah to take longer than two minutes to finish hallel, and you’re upset at that, then there are serious problems. If he’s taking twenty minutes, and you have to go to work (on Chol Shel Moed, which you’re not supposed to do anyway), then daven at a different minyan. And don’t throw esrogim at him, you might break the pitom.

    #818608
    nitpicker
    Participant

    re: when they pelted the tzeduki with esrogim.

    There is some historical confusion as to who exactly this was.

    Josephus is not always to be completely accepted.

    #818609
    Toi
    Participant

    itch- 2 points for #5

    #818610
    ItcheSrulik
    Member

    You’re allowed to use an esrog with a broken pitom after the first day. It came up in shul this morning.

    #818611
    cantoresq
    Member

    <SIGH>

    #818612

    is everyone ready for hoshana rabba? the reason we beat the ground is to show the chazzan we mean business

    #818613
    smartcookie
    Member

    Spleenless sheep-

    You remind me A LOT of Popa. Another bro?

    #818614
    Bar Shattya
    Member

    smartcookie

    I am not authorized to give out that information.

    #818615
    adorable
    Participant

    they are both not real people. they are workers in starbucks.

    #818616
    smartcookie
    Member

    Thanks for responding Shattya. Nice to meet your family 😉

    #818617
    2scents
    Participant

    Yeah, they all have a similar way of writing. Semi sarcastic witty and humorous.

    #818618
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    they are both not real people. they are workers in starbucks.

    I do work in starbucks. However, I am not paid by starbucks. It is like a mishmar shaila.

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