October 17, 2011 4:03 pm at 4:03 pm #599995
mod 42 says “take [your aravos] out and whack them against the chazan”
One person I respect suggested we should throw our esrogim at him.
What are your suggestions? Should someone go up, place his shtender next to the amud and go louder and faster?
I think this is a situation of “Kanoim pogin bo”.October 17, 2011 5:14 pm at 5:14 pm #818579
Nothing. Stand like a mentch your in a shull. Its a house of prayer!
Find yourself a minyan that davens with your desired speed.October 17, 2011 5:40 pm at 5:40 pm #818580zahavasdadParticipant
Why not yell
Anah Hashem Hoshea Nah?October 17, 2011 5:44 pm at 5:44 pm #818581adorableParticipant
I think its hard for him to behave when hes frustratedOctober 17, 2011 5:57 pm at 5:57 pm #818582
Bar shatya is frustrated because he lost his nechasim, and every time he reads about the nesachim in the laining he gets confused and thinks they are his.October 17, 2011 6:05 pm at 6:05 pm #818583
just dont make the bimah nifgam if you throw your esrogim.October 17, 2011 6:21 pm at 6:21 pm #818584YW Moderator-42Moderator
On Shabbos Chol Hamoed the minhag is to throw siddurim instead of esrogim or aravosOctober 17, 2011 6:25 pm at 6:25 pm #818585
The mishna says they threw esrogim at a certain tzeduki who did the wrong nisuch hamayim. josephus mentions astory where they pelted Yannai hamelech with esrogim, who got his revenge by ordering a massacre.October 17, 2011 6:25 pm at 6:25 pm #818586
I think you may be on to something. Perhaps the anshei knesses hagdolah foresaw the “toavei hashem” (e.g. the gevah lev) who would cause us to die from embarrassment of association so they placed a tefillah that we should live till the end of hallel.October 17, 2011 6:41 pm at 6:41 pm #818587bptParticipant
Start a new song with the guys (or girls, depending on your shul) in the back row.
Nothing gets a chazzan’s attention faster than competetionOctober 17, 2011 6:51 pm at 6:51 pm #818588good.jewMember
Call him a jerk?October 17, 2011 6:59 pm at 6:59 pm #818589BaalHaboozeParticipant
we had a chazzan go too long on Hoshana rabba one year, so my uncle (everyone has ONE uncle who does these things) gave him a ‘gezunteh shtoch’ in the rear with his lulov during Hoshanas! Wheeew, did he burn some wicked laps around the shul for the rest of the davening!! l tell ya, I’d put down any money he still feels that poke till today….LOL
…y’know what they say; desperate times calls for desperate measures.October 17, 2011 7:04 pm at 7:04 pm #818590chanieMember
Stand next to him and daven louder then he does!October 17, 2011 7:18 pm at 7:18 pm #818591
What bunch of mean people!
Politley tell him to accelerate.October 17, 2011 7:33 pm at 7:33 pm #818592
daven at an earlier minyan, go to his house and eat all the food at his seuda. he’ll be sure to shave an hour off his time 2nd day YT.October 17, 2011 7:33 pm at 7:33 pm #818593AinOhdMilvadoParticipant
If he’s shlepping just a bit, grin and bear it.
If he thinks he’s HaSh-m’s gift to chazzanus, and he’s really going overboard, maybe try discreetly going up to the bimah or shtender where he’s davening and putting your watch next to his machzor. Hopefully he’ll take the hint.October 17, 2011 8:06 pm at 8:06 pm #818594workingParticipant
We are lucky enough to have the opportunity to say Hallel and Hoshanos. If it is too slow for you, stay home.October 17, 2011 8:09 pm at 8:09 pm #818595yummy cupcakeMember
i know you are all joking, or at least, that is my sincere hope, but come on people! i’m with 2scents here. you all sound really mean!i thought ur all better than that! even if you don’t mean it, it just doesn’t sound nice. and besides, behind every little joke, there is a bit of truth…October 17, 2011 9:35 pm at 9:35 pm #818596
1- Get everyone who already finished to dance around him singing ???? ?? ??? ??? ????
2- Scream Ana Hashem Hoshiya Na
3- Take a clock off the wall and put it over his siddur. (Don’t use a watch. you won’t get it back)
4- Start krias hatorah/hoshanos without him
5- Sing ???? ??? when he finally finishes.October 17, 2011 9:40 pm at 9:40 pm #818597
6-Flip him over backwards (minhag chabad)October 17, 2011 10:11 pm at 10:11 pm #818598bptParticipant
” go to his house and eat all the food “
Good one, Toi!October 18, 2011 2:03 am at 2:03 am #818599mexipalParticipant
leave and make a breakaway minyan outside. when everyone leaves he’ll get the hintOctober 18, 2011 2:56 am at 2:56 am #818600
He might not notice if everyone left. I was once at a minyan where many of the people were sitting down or learning waiting for the toavas hashem to finish his show.October 18, 2011 2:58 am at 2:58 am #818601minyan galMember
Personally, I love Hallel – the longer the better, because at my shul that means more singing and the tunes we use are beautiful. The Chazzan could take a half hour and it would be fine with me. I love any holiday that has a full (as opposed to Hatzi) Hallel.October 18, 2011 4:29 am at 4:29 am #818602bezalelParticipant
at my shul that means more singing and the tunes we use are beautiful.
Are you trying to recruit us?October 18, 2011 9:09 am at 9:09 am #818603
Bar shatya, he might not notice thatg you left. However you have accomplished what you need. Which is that you will finnish early.
Who cares if the chazon realizes it or not. Unless your in for some attention.October 18, 2011 2:28 pm at 2:28 pm #818604
jo- its a tosefta.October 18, 2011 3:36 pm at 3:36 pm #818605
the poskim write that an overly shleppy chazzan can be removed. V. mishna brura 529:1.October 18, 2011 3:37 pm at 3:37 pm #818606lakewoodbtParticipant
dont go to minyanOctober 18, 2011 4:15 pm at 4:15 pm #818607oyveykidsthesedaysMember
It depends how long he’s taking. If he has the chutzpah to take longer than two minutes to finish hallel, and you’re upset at that, then there are serious problems. If he’s taking twenty minutes, and you have to go to work (on Chol Shel Moed, which you’re not supposed to do anyway), then daven at a different minyan. And don’t throw esrogim at him, you might break the pitom.October 18, 2011 5:58 pm at 5:58 pm #818608nitpickerParticipant
re: when they pelted the tzeduki with esrogim.
There is some historical confusion as to who exactly this was.
Josephus is not always to be completely accepted.October 18, 2011 7:02 pm at 7:02 pm #818609
itch- 2 points for #5October 18, 2011 7:14 pm at 7:14 pm #818610
You’re allowed to use an esrog with a broken pitom after the first day. It came up in shul this morning.October 18, 2011 8:22 pm at 8:22 pm #818611cantoresqMember
<SIGH>October 19, 2011 3:28 am at 3:28 am #818612A Sheep without a SpleenMember
is everyone ready for hoshana rabba? the reason we beat the ground is to show the chazzan we mean businessOctober 19, 2011 3:34 am at 3:34 am #818613smartcookieMember
You remind me A LOT of Popa. Another bro?October 19, 2011 3:41 pm at 3:41 pm #818614
I am not authorized to give out that information.October 19, 2011 3:52 pm at 3:52 pm #818615adorableParticipant
they are both not real people. they are workers in starbucks.October 19, 2011 5:29 pm at 5:29 pm #818616smartcookieMember
Thanks for responding Shattya. Nice to meet your family 😉October 19, 2011 5:31 pm at 5:31 pm #818617
Yeah, they all have a similar way of writing. Semi sarcastic witty and humorous.October 19, 2011 5:39 pm at 5:39 pm #818618popa_bar_abbaParticipant
they are both not real people. they are workers in starbucks.
I do work in starbucks. However, I am not paid by starbucks. It is like a mishmar shaila.
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