When is it okay to go to college full-time?
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- This topic has 18 replies, 15 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 5 months ago by sem613.
October 22, 2013 1:49 am at 1:49 am #610966hillcrestMember
At what age can an unmarried guy start attending full time and will it affect his shiduchim chancesOctober 22, 2013 12:05 pm at 12:05 pm #981679☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant
120, no.October 22, 2013 1:00 pm at 1:00 pm #981680heretohelpMember
This affect his shiduchim chances thing cracks me up.
Tell me about this boy? Well, he’s got no chance of ever earning a living. Oh my goodness shadchan, tell me more, how come he isn’t taken already? Well, I’ve been told he can’t even write a proper english sentence.
Seriously, where is the next generation of wealthy father in laws going to come from? The days of becoming well off from owning a shmata shop on the LES are long since over.October 22, 2013 1:40 pm at 1:40 pm #981681oomisParticipant
Are you seriously asking that question here? Do yourself a solid favor and get your education so you are prepared for making a parnassah. Go and learn every single day also, just like my father,uncles, brothers, and sons all did and do.
If it affects your shidduchim to show that you are a responsible and productive member of society who is machshiv Torah every day, then I would ask myself if that is the right shidduch for me.
People are finally beginning to realize what the past generation has done to infantilize the present young generation. It has not been to our children’s benefit, in spite of what many people believe. We have a bunch of young adults who cannot for the long term, make it economically, and Mom and Pops’ gelt will eventually be running out for most of them. Not everyone owns successful businesses. So if they themselves are not properly prepared to earn a living, who is going to pay for THEIR children’s expenses, when THEY get married twenty years or so down the road and pooh pooh being educated? Bubby and Zaydie?October 22, 2013 1:50 pm at 1:50 pm #981682gavra_at_workParticipant
College is Bad For Shidduchim. Boys should be learning, and girls should be natually rich with fathers who are able to support.
(I haven’t seen PBA for a week. Any ideas where he went?)October 22, 2013 2:10 pm at 2:10 pm #981683akupermaParticipant
When is it okay to have a job full time? The answers should be the same. The only reason to go to college or university is to learn a trade or profession. If all you want is knowledge, read a book.
The question one might ask is when should one start to work full time (in the past many people would get married and then worry about supporting themselves, but I suspect than since the crash five years ago increasing numbers of young men are more concerned about finding parnassah than finding a wife – in part since jobs are scarce and unmarried frum girls aren’t).October 22, 2013 2:14 pm at 2:14 pm #981684heretohelpMember
If you think you should go to college and there is a girl or family out there who thinks college is bad, she isn’t really a good match, is she? In that sense, it makes shidduchim easier, you find someone who has the same values as you.October 22, 2013 3:32 pm at 3:32 pm #981685Bookworm120Participant
College should be great for shidduchim. Theoretically, a girl should be looking for an educated boy who is knowledgeable in both Jewish and secular fields, so that they don’t make big fools of themselves once they’re married and don’t know what to do about anything.
How are you going to pay your household bills if you don’t know math?
Who will help the children with their homework? They won’t be learning basic addition and subtraction forever.October 22, 2013 4:18 pm at 4:18 pm #981686Veltz MeshugenerMember
I think PBA went to college last week and is no longer frum.October 22, 2013 5:34 pm at 5:34 pm #981687SecularFrummyMember
Why not find a shidduch in college?October 22, 2013 5:45 pm at 5:45 pm #981688Veltz MeshugenerMember
Secular frummie, advocating intermarriage is not okay on a frum board.October 22, 2013 6:59 pm at 6:59 pm #981689rebdonielMember
A guy who goes to school and works as an accountant, PT, OT, Speech Therapist, PA (all popular fields for the frum community) while also going to minyan in the morning and learning mornings and evenings should, theoretically, be seen as a good shidduch.
I see having a profession as a machshir/means for a man to be yotzei his chiyuv (found in the ketuba) of providing for a wife. Ideally, if your work has a positive impact on the world and helps others, that’s wonderful, as well.
Having the mechutanim support you can cause shalom bayis problems. When the in-laws have control or any undue influence over any aspect of a marriage, that’s asking for trouble. OTOH, meeting people at university is often not possible, since many college-aged people aren’t seeking a shidduch, and the number of observant Jews at many colleges is limited. If one goes to a school with sizable observant population, then this could be a possibility.October 22, 2013 7:52 pm at 7:52 pm #981690zahavasdadParticipant
Plenty of people meet other frum people and marry them in College
There are lots of Frum people at especially Brooklyn and Queens College.October 22, 2013 9:16 pm at 9:16 pm #981691SecularFrummyMember
Veltz- Because no eligible Jewish singles go to college. Right.October 22, 2013 9:40 pm at 9:40 pm #981692WIYMember
“I think PBA went to college last week and is no longer frum.”
Well it seems that hes no longer on this forum.October 22, 2013 11:35 pm at 11:35 pm #981693Bookworm120Participant
@WIY – http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/what-is-your-salary-1#post-492960
Here he is. 🙂
There are online colleges and online Jewish college(s), like Naaleh College. So you might not meet anyone marriageable, but if you’re self-conscious about going to a secular institution, it’s probably worthwhile to look into.October 23, 2013 12:05 am at 12:05 am #981694popupMember
It’s all relative, there’s no right answer. if those are ur intentions obviously u wouldn’t date a girl who’d be opposed to the ideaOctober 23, 2013 12:31 am at 12:31 am #981695charliehallParticipant
“The only reason to go to college or university is to learn a trade or profession.”
Rav Hirsch and Rav Soloveitchik strongly disagreed. They saw secular education as an *inherent* good.
That said, it isn’t for everyone. There are lots of challenges in and outside the classroom. One should consult with a good rav to determine when one is ready. Many gedolim have been university-educated — going all the way to some rishonim — but prior to the 20th century every single one had extensive Torah education prior to starting university. Today there are frum-friendly environments such as YU and Touro that support dual curriculum and they produce frum Jews with good secular knowledge as well as some outstanding talmidei chachamim.October 23, 2013 6:21 pm at 6:21 pm #981696sem613Participant
re it affecting your shidduchim chances, it depends what you’re looking for. if youre looking for a girl whos looking for a husband who will support her, its excellent.
if you’re looking for a rich girl who wants a learner, once you start college it won’t happen
there are no shortage of girls who want someone whos in college for a parnassah that also learns
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