- This topic has 28 replies, 25 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 11 months ago by bein_hasdorim.
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December 31, 2010 3:33 am at 3:33 am #5938591030Participant
Baruch Hashem my wife found out that she is expecting.
when is the proper time to tell our parents?
December 31, 2010 5:35 pm at 5:35 pm #723970havesomeseichelMemberBefore you tell your CR friends! (You never know if they are reading these posts…)
December 31, 2010 5:48 pm at 5:48 pm #723971popa_bar_abbaParticipantBefore it shows.
December 31, 2010 5:55 pm at 5:55 pm #723972msseekerMemberRight now. Give them some nachas! Just ask them to keep it confidential.
December 31, 2010 6:04 pm at 6:04 pm #723973WolfishMusingsParticipantWhenever you feel comfortable doing so.
FWIW, we told our parents right away.
The Wolf
December 31, 2010 6:08 pm at 6:08 pm #723974aries2756ParticipantThe best time to tell the grandparents is at the end of the first trimester when everything is going well, you have your sonograms and pics, and the doctor has confirmed that there is a strong heartbeat, etc. There is no need to rush the news. This is a very special time in your lives and it is OK to have this very special time and very exciting news just between the two of you for just a little while longer. There is absolutely nothing wrong for a couple to have some private time and some private information just between themselves for as long as they can before sharing it with others. Enjoy the excitement. Mazal and bracha! B’shaah Tova!
December 31, 2010 6:20 pm at 6:20 pm #723975WiseWomanMemberwell first and foremost, B’sha Tovah! may you and your wife only have nachas from the little peanut(which is what it is now)!
Second, this is a conversation i’ve had with people. It depends on how close you are with your parents. if you want to wait till month 3 thats acceptable. but if your very close with your parents or the fact that your wife is probably closer with her mom she’s most likely to tell your in laws first. Also if you want to be cute you can say to them…”So I was wondering…Which of these terms would like to be called in ___months? Bubby/Zaidy etc.” that would be cute!
December 31, 2010 6:29 pm at 6:29 pm #723976real-briskerMemberhavesomeseivhel – lol!!
December 31, 2010 6:33 pm at 6:33 pm #723977Dave HirschParticipantBHatzlacha!
December 31, 2010 7:17 pm at 7:17 pm #723978always hereParticipantare you one of my sons-in-law?! lol 😉
December 31, 2010 7:23 pm at 7:23 pm #723979oomisParticipantI would not have told US first, but since we do not really know who you are, it might not count… I would wait until the first trimester is safely over. Then tell your parents and siblings. You can do what you want, but I would wait to tell other people until I was beginning to show. Oh, and we should be zochim to hear besoros tovos b’shaa tova u’mutzlachas. My new grandson just had his bris, and there is nothing in the world like a brand new baby, bli ayin hara.
December 31, 2010 7:36 pm at 7:36 pm #723980GabboimMemberYou’re parents brought you into life and brought you up. You owe it to them. Tell them when they expect you to tell it to them.
December 31, 2010 7:58 pm at 7:58 pm #723981WiseWomanMemberoomis-mazel tov! may you have lots of nachas from him
December 31, 2010 8:03 pm at 8:03 pm #723982ChanieEParticipantB’sha’a tovah 1030 & Mazel tov, Oomis!
January 2, 2011 12:32 am at 12:32 am #723983amichaiParticipantbsha’ah tova 1030!if you live near your parents or in laws , and you do not tell them as yet (which is fine) , if your wife has morning sickness, hormonal changes etc. they will figure it out themselves. I hope things go smoothly for you and your wife.
January 2, 2011 12:59 am at 12:59 am #723984aries2756ParticipantMazal tov OOmis!
January 2, 2011 7:31 pm at 7:31 pm #723985ummMemberIf you’re wife is feeling sick you might want to tell them for their help!!
Also, it depends what number child it is, the first child one usually says very early, so parents can rest assured that all is ok… but if it’s a subsequent child you dont have to feel rushed to share the word and can tell them when you feel ready.
No need to tell others (siblings, friends, colleagues…) until you’re showing, unless you just can’t keep a secret!
January 2, 2011 10:28 pm at 10:28 pm #723986RalphieMemberabout 4:30 a.m. Tell them you were soooo excited. That way you get to wake up the shvigger – and she’ll thank you for it!!
January 3, 2011 1:10 am at 1:10 am #723987deiyezoogerMember“about 4:30 a.m. Tell them you were soooo excited. That way you get to wake up the shvigger – and she’ll thank you for it!!”
I actuly got to call my shviger in the middle of the night when we had a baby but geuss what I didnt wake her, she was up waiting for the call and picked up with the first ring.
January 3, 2011 4:48 am at 4:48 am #723988commonsenseParticipantright away. it will make them feel good and you will have someone you don’t have to keep it a secret from. also if you’re wife doesn’t feel so well they will understand and help out.
January 3, 2011 5:47 am at 5:47 am #723989oomisParticipantThank you all for the mazel tov wishes. I just saw your posts. Commonsense reminds me of something that happened to me when I was pregnant with my second child, and we took my mom on a trip to Cape Cod with us (our one and only family vacation). I was newly pregnant, so we were not telling anyone. As is typical with most pregnant ladies, I had to excuse myself VERY frequently throughout the day to use the restroom, to the point where my mom became exasperated and told me, “When we get home, you need to see a urologist ASAP! I think you have an infection!” I shoulda told her…
January 3, 2011 6:10 am at 6:10 am #723990RalphieMemberdelyezooger – your shvigger was waiting up to ding on you for NOT calling. This way she could say “I stayed up all night and you didn’t call”. Don’t you understand the mind of a shvigger? Seriously, tell them whenever you want. There is an inyan to wait until she’s nikkur but, if she wants support or advice, there’s no reason not to tell her mother or mother-in-law (if she’s got a good relationship, not if she feels she HAS to tell them).
January 3, 2011 6:14 am at 6:14 am #723991NonsenseMemberJust ask your parents or parents in law when they want to know the good tidings.
January 3, 2011 8:44 am at 8:44 am #723992miamigirl613MemberYou should tell them right away because if they somehow find out it’ll just be worse. Just make sure that they keep it confidential for the time being.
January 3, 2011 6:17 pm at 6:17 pm #723993Pashuteh YidMemberMazel Tov, Ooomis. May you have much nachas and simcha from him.
January 3, 2011 8:15 pm at 8:15 pm #723994AinOhdMilvadoParticipantJust make sure to tell both sets of parents AT THE SAME TIME!!!
That’s why HaSh-m gave EACH of you your own cell phone!!!
January 3, 2011 10:13 pm at 10:13 pm #723995bptParticipantMazel tov to 1030 and Oomis. (care to share how many this brings the tally to?)
As far as when to tell, the sooner the better, as the hurt they will feel by finding out after someone else is pretty painful
And someone else always finds out before you’re showing. I had several passengers in my car one Monday AM (heading back to the city from the Catskills,) and out of the blue, one of them starts throwing up.
Skipped a dramamine? No, guess again. Its also pretty impossible to get to your doctor without being spotted.
Play it safe. Once your spouse knows, tell your parents.
January 3, 2011 10:27 pm at 10:27 pm #723996blinkyParticipantmazel tov! I understand the concept of privacy- my opinion- if your parents are the type to be worried or be a yenta about it, maybe keep it to yourself for awhile. But if they are not that type- i think you should tell them.
and Oomis- Mazel tov- i wrote you something about it in the limerick thread- not sure if you read it.
January 4, 2011 1:48 am at 1:48 am #723997bein_hasdorimParticipant1030; right before it gets noticeable, you dont want them getting
the news from the butcher, or Yenta Shprintza who posted her suspicions on her Yenta blog just in case shes right.
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