Where to go on a date?

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  • #592408

    Ben Torah
    Participant

    Ideas, anyone, on where to go on a date?

    (Metro New York area.)

    #722657

    dunno
    Member

    check out mikomos.com

    #722658

    Sacrilege
    Member

    Anywhere but a hotel lounge.

    #722659

    Ben Torah
    Participant

    Anywhere but a hotel lounge.

    That’s easy (and cheap) enough for a girl to say… 😉

    #722660

    bpt
    Participant

    I was just on Roosevelt Island. Its a perfect place for a daytime date if the weather is nice, and its really cool to see Manahttan from that angle. Similar to the path along the West side or Belt Parkway but much quieter. If you must stay in the city, the waterfront in lower manhattan (battery park) is also pretty quiet.

    If you need directions to either location listed, let me know.

    #722661

    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    Generally speaking I had better luck on dates where we walked around than on dates where we sat across from each other.

    You’re spending a couple of hours talking to someone you barely know; if you are walking the scenery is changing which will give you more topics for conversation and “quiet moments” won’t be as awkward. On the other hand, if you are sitting across from each other you have to come up with topics and “quiet moments” can be really awkward.

    #722662

    Ben Torah
    Participant

    BP Totty: Directions would be great!

    #722663

    RN2B
    Member

    I agree with sacrilege. I can’t stand hotel lobbies-they are extremely awkward-and dating itself is awkward so you don’t need to add to it. I like starbucks for a date-it has a very nice relaxed vibe and I feel very comfortable there. Walking around is also nice if its in a non-busy area.

    #722664

    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    Ben Torah-

    There’s a drawbridge from Queens, a tram from Manhattan and the F train stops there.

    From around 1910 until the mid 50s there were elevators in the legs of the Queensboro (59th St.) Bridge to take passengers and cars from the bridge to the island.

    When the drawbridge was opened the elevator service was discontinued.

    #722665

    bpt
    Participant

    Doc Pepper is mostly right about Roosevelt Island, though the tram is out of service till Oct.

    by car, its only accessible from Queens, about 5 blocks north of the 59th st brigde. The bridge you are looking for is right off the corner of Veron Blvd and 36th ave.

    As soon as you cross over the bridge to Roosevelt Island, there is a public parking garage at the end of the ramp on your right (forget street parking, its almost impossible).

    Once you exit the garage, head west to the side of the island that faces Mantahhan. From there, if you turn right (heading north) you’re about a 20-30 minute walk to the tip of the island where there’s an old lighthouse. You can continue clockwise around the island (its a complete loop) but the queens side is not as interesting.

    P.S. Google Roosevelt Island, as there is some historic stuff that you can impress you date with.. just don’t tell her you got it from google! (or CR).

    If you meant directions to Battery Park, please say so.

    #722666

    Sacrilege
    Member

    “That’s easy (and cheap) enough for a girl to say… ;-)”

    There are a lot of cheap places to go if you dont want to spend a lot on a first date (I kinda feel like a lounge is a bit of a lazy cop out, not to mention boooooring)

    – South Street Sea Port

    – Brooklyn Promenade

    – Brooklyn Botanical Gardens

    – Starbucks

    – Battery Park

    – Brooklyn Bridge Park

    – Central Park

    – Boardwalk

    – Governors Island

    – Top Of The Roc

    …. I think thats enough for now…

    #722667

    HadaLXTP
    Member

    “There are a lot of cheap places to go if you dont want to spend a lot on a first date (I kinda feel like a lounge is a bit of a lazy cop out, not to mention boooooring)”

    Booooooring as you say, is all relevant to the person you are with.

    #722668

    charliehall
    Participant

    I agree about with the people who say “no hotel lounge”.

    A friend once set me up with someone he know from out of town. The first problem was that we could not agree on any restaurant at which to meet because she didn’t understand why there wasn’t one kashrut Vaad in NYC and therefore didn’t trust anybody’s hechsherim. So we agreed to meet at a particular hotel lobby motzi Shabat. I allowed plenty of time to get there because I wasn’t sure about traffic and I didn’t like being late to dates — I thought it was disrespectful.

    So I get to the hotel a half hour early — no traffic at all — and who is there but the annual dinner of the Palestinian American Solidarity Fund! And here I am wandering around in my kippah waiting for my date, who ended up being an hour late!!! After less than two minutes it was clear we were completely incompatible. What a waste.

    Some more possibilities:

    Museums! Try the Center for Jewish History on 16th Street in Manhattan. A neat little museum with interesting exhibits.

    The Bronx Zoo! If you go during Chol HaMoed you will see tons of frum people. (Even on Yom Tov but it is a long walk to the Bronx if you don’t already live here.)

    The Bronx Botanical Garden! For those who prefer plants to animals ;). The Zoo and Botanical Gardens in the Bronx are MUCH larger than the similar facilities in the other boroughs and well worth the train ride. There is a little kosher cafe on Lydig Avenue in Pelham Parkway near both that could use your business.

    The Empire State Building! The view from the top is great and you will have lots of time to converse with each other while in line. And there are plenty of kosher eateries nearby.

    Ellis Island! Most American Jews have ancestors who came through there; it is well worth a trip.

    #722669

    Sacrilege
    Member

    “Booooooring as you say, is all relevant to the person you are with.”

    Maybe thats why I’m still single, I’m just too exciting for myself 😉

    #722670

    HadaLXTP
    Member

    Beshah Toiva U’mesukah.

    For both of us. 🙂

    #722671

    Sacrilege
    Member

    AMEN 🙂

    #722672

    Ben Torah
    Participant

    Is Chelsea Piers appropriate for a date?

    #722673

    apushatayid
    Participant

    For a bachur a “premier individual” level of membership with the Wildlife Conservation Society may not be a bad a bad idea. It gets you admission for 2 into all 5 of the zoos in NYC as well as the aquarium, free admission to the bronx zoo attractions (cable cars etc) and even 4 parking passes for use at either zoo or aquarium. Its good for a year. Hopefully you wont get stares from the people at the entrance if you show up every sunday with another girl. When the weather is nice, being outdoors is way better than sitting indoors and eating or shmoozing. Even in the winter, unless it is bitter cold, it is pretty enjoyable. membership at this level is $94 a year and if things work out with the girl you can upgrade to family membership for another $55.

    #722674

    dunno
    Member

    LOL apushatayid. Good last line!

    #722675

    theprof1
    Participant

    How about the good old fashioned way of a beshow? Boy and his parents go to the girl’s house. Boy and girl go off to the living room for an hour or so and talk. Parents discuss financial stuff. After an hour the girl’s father brings them back in. Maybe repeated one more night. Then you make a l’chaim. No stress of where to go.

    #722676

    apushatayid
    Participant

    TheProf. I am a litvak through and through, dont know anyone whoever “bishowed” (is that a correct verb?) before. What happens if the parents cant agree on the “financial stuff” but the boy and girl want to “talk” again because it went very well? what if this happens several nights in a row? Am being curious, not critical.

    #722677

    boredjewishguy
    Participant

    To those of you saying no hotel lounges; what about lounges like the View in the Marriott Marquis or some of the rooftop lounges in NYC, would those be ok, b/c there’s lots to see?

    #722678

    Sacrilege
    Member

    Ben Torah –

    Sure! its just an entertainment complex, they have imax, ice-skating, golf, and bowling (maybe some other stuff that I’m not remembering)

    If youd do any of those activities than you can go there, there is nothing inappropriate to see.

    #722679

    theprof1
    Participant

    Generally if there isn’t a financial agreement the shadchan butts in. In practice though, most of the time the shadchan has already worked out tentative financial agreements and it all goes smooth. But yes, once in a while things don’t go smooth and the girl and boy do not get engaged. Rarely happens but can happen.

    #722680

    theprof1
    Participant

    Please don’t think that I’m trying to hoist the chasidish way on anybody. We have here a discussion of where to go so I added another alternative. Many yeshivish boys will only go to a hotel lobby. They won’t take a girl to a lounge or restaurant. One reason is pure economics, it’s cheaper. Not everybody becomes engaged after 2 dates, not every boy and girl are engaged the first time. So this can become quite expensive. We all have our cultures with different rules and traditions. Each sector of Klal Yisroel should do what the general community they are in does. Without criticising another sector. Many chasidim do go out on dates, although not 7-8 times. Many chasidim have perfectly arranged marriages. Hi son/daughter, you’re getting engaged tonight to “boy/girl”. Each sector seems to look askance at the other. No reason for this. Do whatever your social circle does.

    #722681

    smartcookie
    Member

    Oh my, don’t you all start with beshow argument again…

    #722682

    bpt
    Participant

    Though there are few things I enjoy more than re-hashing old threads, Prof has this one pretty mouch nailed down. By the time prospective chosson and kallah sit down, the financials have pretty much been agreed upon. Maybe not to the nickel, but suffice to say, at that point, there will be few (if any)surprises.

    #722683

    Ben Torah
    Participant

    What’s the protocol? First date or two a lounge, next date or two a restaurant, then some some outdoor activities?

    #722684

    bpt
    Participant

    Depends on how good a talker / listener you are. Can you carry off a 4 hour walk in the park and hold up your end of a conversation? Then outdoors is fine, but it needs to be daytime. Bear in mind you are coming up against Chol Hamoed, and the streets will be crawling with people you and she most likely know.

    If a nighttime date is more practical, then a lounge / hotel lobby is fine, and can be kept to a 2-3 hour date (another hour or so will be eaten up by driving to and from).

    Uh, one question. From you opening post, I took the conclusion that you are from out of town and are just looking for NYC destinations. From this last post, I get the feeling you are just starting the dating process. If so, let me ask the folloing: are you working or at least in college to put you on the path to a job that will help you meet the obligations you will agree to when you hand over the kesubah?

    #722685

    Sacrilege
    Member

    “What’s the protocol? First date or two a lounge, next date or two a restaurant, then some some outdoor activities?”

    Nothing is set in stone, its really whatever you want. I’ve done lounges, restaurants, outdoors for first dates it all depends on the guy…. 😉 g’luck!

    #722686

    myfriend
    Member

    Does a girl get any input on where to go?

    #722687

    smartcookie
    Member

    Many chasidim have perfectly arranged marriages. Hi son/daughter, you’re getting engaged tonight to “boy/girl”.

    Most Chassidim do not tell their child you’re getting engaged tonight. I’ve heard FEW such cases.

    #722688

    charliehall
    Participant

    “Does a girl get any input on where to go? “

    Yes. She has a total veto. If you are uncomfortable in a hotel lobby, suggest a different place!

    #722689

    Sacrilege
    Member

    “Does a girl get any input on where to go?”

    Believe it or not SOME guys still actually call before a date! and they ask, “where would you like to go?” (novel idea huh?)

    If not (and I have done this) when sitting in a lounge, I ask if he minds walking around outside, you always find cool things and end up wandering into stores along the way…

    #722690

    asdfgh
    Participant

    I went out with my bashert 5 times before we got engaged. we alternated between 2 hotel lobbies. If you know that is where you will be going, and think you will run out of things to say, prepare a list beforehand of topics you would like to talk about! No, it won’t be taking away from being “yourself” or being “natural”. it’s called being prepared. When you are on a date, you are on the spot and under pressure. If you have a general list in your head of 10-20 topics you could bring up, you will be able to avoid most awkward pauses and have a pleasant conversation. Worked for me!

    Also, by the third date, we wanted to get to know each other a bit better, so we brought along a deck of cards with questions (don’t remember the name of the game) – who is your role model, what is your fondest childhood memory, etc etc. We also took a look at a book describing different personality types (dont remember the name, its quite popular) and tried to explain which type best described us.

    By the fourth date, the shadchan put pressure on my (not-yet) husband to take me out somewhere more interesting and suggested miniature golf. We were in the car set to drive there, when we discovered that we both were really not interested, so we went back to the hotel 🙂

    The point is, if you are prepared with topics and questions, hotels are not evil, can even be a pleasant atmosphere. And don’t let the shadchan/best friend/parents pressure you into going somewhere more exciting – discuss it with your date!

    oif simchos!

    #722691

    dunno
    Member

    asdfgh

    You’re right. Lounges aren’t always bad. I just think things should be reversed. For example, the first few dates should be somewhere fun so you can warm up to each other in a relaxing way. Lounges should be for when things get serious – it’s a place you can talk uninterrupted. However, when you are first meeting the person it tends to be awkward.

    #722692

    pet peeve
    Member

    dunno, i partially disagree. i wouldnt want to be playing mini golf (or almost anything else) with a total stranger. its only fun if you make it fun, meaning, you are enjoying the company. if you have no clue who the person is, that is awkward.

    #722693

    Sacrilege
    Member

    asdfgh

    I’m having an anxiety attack thinking about being in a lounge for 5 dates…

    Glad it worked out for you 🙂

    #722694

    dunno
    Member

    pet peeve

    Perhaps not mini golf specifically but something other than sitting and staring at a person for 3 hours. Take a walk…do ANYTHING…but a lounge? Oy…

    Sac

    I was thinking the same 🙂

    #722695

    I agree with asdfgh. Lounges are the most suitable places for a date. And it serves the purpose of a date better.

    #1512541

    icemelter
    Participant

    Highline park

    #1512736

    And now there’s PegishaPlace. (I don’t think they list any board game cafes, though.)

    #1512744

    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    Glad to see this thread come around again. I’m always on the lookout for new spots for dates.

    The Wolf

    #1512760

    Joseph
    Participant

    Wolf, may you be zoche to find your zivug hagun b’karov, Amen! 😉

    #1512864

    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    Wolf, may you be zoche to find your zivug hagun b’karov, Amen! 😉

    Already found. Over thirty years ago.

    The Wolf

    #1512866

    icemelter
    Participant

    “WolfishMusingsGlad-to see this thread come around again. I’m always on the lookout for new spots for dates.”

    -youre welcome

    #1514930

    oyyoyyoy
    Participant

    Highline park
    Just went out recently and was gonna go there but it closes early still. Not sure when the schedule changes. Also, while i do really like going there on dates, ive found that there are usually untznius women there. Even if u aren’t makpid, it can be distracting and take away from ur interest in ur date.

    Theres a starbucks my friend told me about by one of the entrances, real convenient to sit down in before or get a bottle of water.

    #1514990

    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Bronx Zoo….I hadn’t been back in many years and its a new place with all the old smelly buildings gone and new open exhibit areas. Plus, the big advantage is that if the date goes downhill fast, there will always be some cute animals doing some cute things to make your date smile and give both of you a needed laugh

    #1714460

    Ah Linkeh
    Participant

    If your looking for a great place, check out The Shidduch Shuk.

    #1714530

    cholentandkugel
    Participant

    what is the shidduch shuk?

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