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Hello, I have been reading things on this website for a year or more and am finally getting up some courage to ask for suggestions about where I can start becoming Jewish after discovering some roots on my mother’s German side of the family tree –studying it for the first time tipped me off.
It would seem like between my maternal great grandmother and maternal grandmother, the Jewish background was hidden as these German Jews of means fled Germany between World War One and Two, landing in Brazil for a number of years before coming to the United States.
The assimilation continued but certain things struck me as being Jewish — for instance, even though the family affiliated with a Lutheran Church (I myself was confirmed in my early teens), my maternal grandmother said things like Judaism is the only true religion. Then there are some food/cultural things like the kugel my aunt makes for Easter based on “an old family recipe.”
I had begun getting my feet wet by doing a lot of reading and going to services at local synogogues. I am trying to figure out how to keep growing into Judaism. I feel passionately about preserving this almost lost part of my family. To the best of my knowledge, I am the only one with this interest in my family.
Thank you for any insights or suggestions.
I congratulate you for working up to ask for help in this. I do a lot of genealogical research on my family, so I know how exciting it is to find something that is surprising – in this case, perhaps life changing.
My first suggestion is that you contact your local orthodox rabbi or local orthodox beit din (rabbinical court). There are Rabbis who can help guide you through the process.
My second suggestion is to write down everything you can remember about your family’s heritage, and collect whatever documentary evidence you have. Speak to older relatives if you have any of advanced age from your mother’s side to develop more information.
You may want to also research online to find community records, relatives, etc. I would suggest (mods, please allow) jewishgen.org as somewhere to begin that side of the research.
My third suggestion is that you consider very carefully what identifying yourself as a Jew will mean to you. As you must know if you have been reading here for a year, there are a multiplicity of opinions and perspectives in the orthodox world. But there is one thing all agree upon, and that is that where there is a question of Jewishness and a conversion pro forma (known as giyur lechumra) is required, as with any conversion, a sincere, wholehearted, and devoted lifelong commitment to the observance of mitzvos in an orthodox manner is a requirement, the abandonment of which will invalidate the conversion.
Finally, you seem to be able to find Jewish resources on the internet, so I won’t belabor you with suggestions. There are many sites to learn from, but nothing online will compare with building a relationship with an orthodox Jewish family or community where you live.
I wish you much hatzlacha (success) in your journey.
Hi,
Do you know what Chabad-Lubavitch is?
Partners in Torah is a free service where you are paired with an Orthodox mentor and you study or talk together once a week by phone any topic that YOU choose to learn about in Judaism. You can check out their website and sign up for a free personal Jewish mentor.
aurora,
I salute you for wanting to find out more about your roots and wanting to grow in your knowledge about judaism.
I would highly recommend http://www.aish.com. In addition to a tremendous collection of articles about judaism, there is an “ask the rabbi” feature where you can ask an authentic rabbi any questions you have and get an authentic answer.
I would also recommend a visit to shabbat.com where you can look for an opportunity to spend a Shabbat with a jewish family. Nothing else can come close to experiencing judaism in real life! (And maybe you can share your aunt’s kugel recipe with your hostess! 🙂 )
Welcome to the Coffeeroom, Aurora! If I were in your position, the first things I would do are 1) join the Orthodox Conversion to Judaism yahoo group, 2) acquire a copy of the Gerus Guide by the group’s moderator Rabbi Aryeh Moshen, and 3) contact your local Orthodox rabbis (including Chabad and non-Chabad) and attend their services. I encourage you to continue your genealogical research (mainly because I love genealogy myself), but keep in mind that you don’t have to be able to prove Jewish ancestry to convert.
I would also read books on Judaism from an Orthodox perspective, as well as websites (such as outreach-oriented sites such as Chabad, Aish, Simpletoremeber, and Breslev Israel). At some point you might be interested in reading the book on converts (gerim) in chassidic thought by Dov ben Avraham (who himself is a convert with some Jewish ancestry).
I agree with yichusdik’s suggestions, with one caveat. From the way he phrases it, it sounds as though abandoning the observance of mitzvos will invalidate the conversion. This would suggest that you can convert, be an Orthodox Jew for a few years, and as soon as you get tired of it you can stop being observant and poof, your conversion is invalidated and you’re no longer obligated in the mitzvos.
It doesn’t work that way. When you convert to Orthodox Judaism (the only real way to convert to Judaism), you make a commitment to be observant for life. If soon after the conversion you are not living a completely observant life, that will be taken as evidence that the conversion was not valid, because you did not accept the mitzvos. That is the only way a conversion can be nullified.
Hi aurora!
Other posters have already given you some excellent suggestions. I just wanted to try to clarify something. You wrote- “from reading here, I think that my gender will be relevant to where I can go…” Your gender is not relevant to where you can go to explore Orthodox Judaism. All the sites mentioned, and other organizations involved in “kiruv”- bringing Jews closer to experiencing Judaism, will welcome you regardless of your gender.
Wishing you the best of luck!
I am unclear. Was your mother’s mother’s mother Jewish?
Aish Hatorah is a great resource. Even knowing my whole life I was Jewish, their programs helped define what that meant to me and how to put in practice living a Jewish life. They have programs like Discovery, which I believe is given on college campuses and other locations throughout the year, as well as many local and online programs. If you ever decide to come to Israel, they have a girl’s school and also Jewel, where you can learn in a full-day environment for however long you are interested – scholarships are available. There is also Neve, which I believe now has programs including college course work so you could do both at the same time, but don’t quote me on that.
There are many resources out there available and I truly hope that you avail yourself of what is out that and find yourself living a truly Jewish life and give your ancestors Jewish pride (nachas).
Just as a side comment – Chabad/Lubavitch is a chassidish organization and often appeals to the emotions as a motivator. Aish HaTorah has programs that appeal more to the intellect.
GL (hatzlacha) in your search.
aurora,
My pleasure! I hope the suggestions you’ve gotten here are helpful in your search!
You’re welcome, Aurora! To answer your earlier question, yes, it definitely does happen that people are inspired to convert after finding out about Jewish ancestry. I’ve heard of Hispanic people converting after finding out about Jewish roots, for example — though I’m sure it happens with other ethnicities/countries of origin as well.
A couple additional things on the topic of reading. When reading Guide to the Perplexed, keep in mind that the hashkafa (theology) of that book is not really representative in some respects to what people believe now, because it was a reaction to the dominant non-Jewish philosophical trend of the time, Aristotelianism. Regardless, I highly recommend reading the book Horeb by Rabbi Shimshon Rafael Hirsch, including the introduction by Rabbi Isadore Gruenfeld. It’s an amazing work. The introduction in particular is very helpful for understanding the history of the differences between Reform and traditional Judaism (which became known as Orthodoxy after the creation of reform).
Hi aurora, I am a convert. My father is Jewish my mother is not. You live in Brazil? I met someone once from the Jewish community there. I was reading the posts and I saw that someone recommend Chabab Lubavitch. I would highly recommend not to get involved with them. stick with Aish Hatorah or Ohr Sameach websites. Contact your Local Orthdox Rabbi (Not Chabad).
aurora:
IF it is determined that your mother’s mother’s mother was Jewish (per Jewish Law), then you are considered 100% Jewish without the need for any conversion.
“But there is one thing all agree upon, and that is that where there is a question of Jewishness and a conversion pro forma (known as giyur lechumra) is required, as with any conversion, a sincere, wholehearted, and devoted lifelong commitment to the observance of mitzvos in an orthodox manner is a requirement, the abandonment of which will invalidate the conversion.”
shmoel: Thanks for answering this. I had to read the whole post a few time as I did not understand why and geirus would be required.
A couple of clarifications. YYTZ, yes, sorry my phrasing was confusing.
And Shmoel is right. If it is provable beyond question that your maternal grandmother and her mother were Jewish, then your mother was Jewish, which makes you 100% Jewish. But I would not want to presuppose the response of a rabbi or beis din you consult with, who will scrutinize the evidence regarding your status, and who may, MAY, require a giur lechumrah.
Hi aurora! You may want to consider purchasing a Siddur (Prayer Book). Artscroll Publishing has a Hebrew Transliterated with English Siddur.
They also have MANY other books (including a Jewish Law And Practices (Halacha) Series) which may be helpful to you. Visit there website: artscroll.com
aurora, you said you love learning new lang. so I would suggest you start learning basic Hebrew starting with the alphabet. This will give you a boost later on when you will want to pray and learn!
I wish you much success on your journey!
aurora, many of those who post here have had multiple layer of Jewish education, from elementary to high school, learning Torah, Talmud, Jewish law and lore. Many of them have also spent one, two, or many more years studying Talmud or Jewish law in post secondary rabbinic schools and programs. Many of the women have spent a year or two post high school at seminaries. Beyond that, it is normative among many of those who post here to engage in Torah and Talmud study every day, even if only for a short time.
There are also several posters with extensive secular education and academic experience.
As with any venue of discussion, you will find open minded people and closed minded people.
I find that with a few exceptions, even those I disagree with here usually have something to teach me.
Aurora: Grab a Kitzur Shulchan Aruch. Both Artscroll and Metzudah have published one with an English translation, though in my opinion the Artscroll one is better (especially because of their footnotes). It is not so long (it’s not short either though) and familiarizing yourself with it would mean that you would at least have a passing knowledge of almost every concept that can come up in day-to-day life.
Also, stick around here (in the CR)! We are (mostly) one big happy “family” and we love “converting” new members!!
About your above comment, with time you will start to understand more of the topics discussed. But then there are some that even I don’t try to figure out!!
aurora: I’m curious how you found this place the first time?
Just trying to help…
Also, a very good org. is Oorah (Partners in Torah, mentioned above, is one of there many programs)
About the CR, most of us don’t really know each other. I honestly can say that I don’t know any current posters. In real life I may know some (though I doubt it) but here I only “know” people from hanging around here. Stay and post! You’ll see, its real fun (and addictive!!)!!!
Hi Aurora,
I read your posts with much interest. I am impressed that you have stuck around here for a year despite some of the posts that probably seem like siblings hashing it out in the living room!
Don’t be discouraged if you don’t have family records to document your mother’s lineage. There are sites like ancestry.com that have excellent census and immigration records, and their collections are constantly growing. My genealogy research was motivated by my hope of finding hidden Jewish relatives that would explain my drive to convert. I did manage to discover that two of my ancestors were Mayflower passengers. My great X 10 grandmother? Not a Jew. LOL…
My hope for you is that you will have hatzlacha (success) and thrive in your path to discovery of your Jewish lineage!
Please try to reach out, if not in your own town, then the nearest large city with other Jews. Don’t go it alone. One take-away from the discussions here is the importance of community and support.
Aurora, though no one would expect you to take a giant leap and begin observing all of the mitzvot at once, I don’t think anyone here would give a stamp of approval to someone Jewish driving on shabbat. Of course, many people who are on the path towards observance do so, but it is the “right” thing for an Orthodox Jew who is helping to offer a place to stay for shabbat or to be after shul for someone who has or will contemplae driving.
There are probably a number of individuals and families in the nearest Orthodox community who would be pleased to have a shabbat guest who is increasing their observance stay over at their house. This is familiar territory for those who are involved in kiruv (bringing our brothers and sisters closer to their Jewish heritage).
You will probably find that there are many people who are happy to help.
This applies if
Aurora: If you are not yet Jewish, speak to the Rabbi of the synagogue and maybe he’ll be okay with you driving. If you are Jewish, then no Orthodox Rabbi would ever tell you that it’s permissible to drive. I would advise finding a place to stay nearer to the Orthodox synagogue just for Sabbaths.
aurora77: Since you are not Jewish yet, until you become Jewish I do not see any problem whatsoever with you driving to an Orthodox synagogue.
Also, you should know that traditional Judaism (aka Orthodoxy) does not recognize the newer streams (Reform, Conservative, etc.) as being Judaism. Any conversion through those streams will leave one considered as still being non-Jewish by traditional Judaism.
charlie brown said:
I would also recommend a visit to shabbat.com where you can look for an opportunity to spend a Shabbat with a jewish family. Nothing else can come close to experiencing judaism in real life! (And maybe you can share your aunt’s kugel recipe with your hostess! 🙂 )
Shabbat.com – check it out!
About learning Hebrew:
Unless you live in Israel (in which case you would need Hebrew even if you weren’t Jewish !) you really don’t have to learn how to speak Hebrew. The main thing you would want to concentrate on is learning how to read. And then write. As you probably know by now, we speak a mixture of English, Hebrew and Yiddish
(to quote a song:
To originate a language, a new way to talk and speak
Is a most imposing challenge, a monumental feat
And most are doomed to failure, before they even start
But in the hallowed halls, of Yeshivos far and wide Our young men have discovered a new way to verbalize
And a dash of Aramaic; a linguistic potpourri
that’s called…
Yeshivishe Reid Yeshivishe Shprach…)
so speaking Hebrew is not a must. However, Siddurim (Prayer Books) and most Seforim (Books) are printed in Hebrew. There are many with translations but eventually you will want to Daven (pray-Yiddish) in Hebrew.
There are three written forms of Hebrew used today: “Print”, “Script” and “Rashi (Rashi – Rabbi Shlomo Yitzchaki (1040-1105 C.E.) who wrote a very famous commentary on The Bible and Talmud)”. Print is used in (most) Seforim and printed text. Script, how we all write! And Rashi is used for commentaries.
That is a “very” basic introduction.
If you have specific questions on a particular issue or topic, I would suggest to start a thread so it could be discussed properly. But if you have a basic question or what a translation of a word, post it here and we will try to help you!
As others mentioned, you should find a Rabbi (also sometimes called Rav) who can “take your hand” (as you probably noticed by now, we don’t shake hands with the opposite gender) and really guide you. Also, if you end up going to a family for Shabbos, you can get close to the women of the family and she can be a friend and mentor! The CR is a fabulous place, but a “live” person is 1000 times better!
I have just now come to this thread, and I applaud your courage. it is a huge challenge to re-think your life, and come to realize that some things whih you have held to be true about yourself, were not. This is a major step for you, and in my humble opinion you should start with small steps. I think Aish HaTorah Discovery seminars would be of tremendous benefit. Or Rebbetzin Esther Jungries’ Hineni (meaning “here I am”)organization. They are geared to educating and welcoming the Baal Teshuvah.
If I understood your post correctly, you ARE Jewish by birth, as it is passed down matrilineally. If your mother, grandmother and great-grandmother were all unquestionably Jewish, then you are, too (really it only needs to be that you look at your own mother being a bona fide Jew (whether by birth or Orthodox conversion), but it is a good idea to check back further down her maternal bloodline).
Much good luck to you in your endeavors to live a life that is your heritage. It is well worth it. Find yourself an Orthodox rabbi and his wife, with whom you can make a real connection, and try to spend your Shabboses in their community. Why travel on Shabbos, if you already are making inroads to committing to a true Torah life?
Hi Aurora, It’s been a pleasure to read your comments, full of sincerity and appreciation.
However — unlike what Shein mentioned — even though your Jewishness has not been proven yet, since your info. seems to indicate that you probably are, my humble opinion is that it would be kind of counter-productive to drive to a synagogue or to a Jewish family for a meal on Shabbos.
With the high holidays approaching I can only echo what others have said: find yourself a real life mentor. It’s a leap of faith you need to take, and even more difficult if you are shy, but it’s one that you hopefully will not regret.
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