working on something together

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  • #593273

    chesedname
    Participant

    We have a handful or more members here. (mods how many members are here?)

    I was thinking if we could agree on a middah, lets all work on it for the next month? or 3 months? and than move onto a new middah.

    We can give each other chizzuk, and motivation.

    What do you think? and which middah should be the first one?

    #715721

    blinky
    Participant

    chesedname- beautiful idea! Count me in!

    Maybe that channukah is a time that ppl get together maybe not to get angry, or being careful with lashon hara?

    #715722

    aries2756
    Participant

    How about Dan L’kaf zchus and stop judging other people.

    #715723

    real-brisker
    Member

    I guess we should just close the cr for 3 months!

    #715724

    chesedname
    Participant

    we have 3 (blinky yours is 2) very good ideas, lets see what others say and we can pick one to start

    #715725

    bpt
    Participant

    I’d like to start saying shema shel mittah from a siddur.

    #715726

    WIY
    Member

    chesedname

    Great idea I tried starting this a while back. It wont really take off. Theres a # of things we can work on. One obvious one would be to start loving our fellow Jew even if he or she looks different and is different and comes from a totally different background. Ahavas Chinum is the only way to bring Moshiach. We are still paying the price for the sinas Chinum of the brothers to Yosef, and of the generation of the 2nd Churban.

    A great thing to start doing is, look for strangers (or even non strangers)to do Chassadim for. You walk into shul, see someone you dont know, get them a siddur, chumash, seat make them feel at ease…. at work help someone you dont know or even someone you know and especially if its someone you dont particularly like. Being maavir al middos is a huge zchus and a very Chashuv think by Hashem when He sees how His children love each other so much that even when they dont like someone they will still do them Chassadim…

    #715727

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    I agree with aries; why are you judging us that we need to work on something?

    #715728

    cshapiro
    Member

    What about emunah? There is a conference call every night and we learn five minutes Garden of Emunah and have a brief discussion. Its great chizzuk for me!!! Let me know if your interested I will post the conference number and pin.

    #715729

    very good popa

    #715730

    eclipse
    Member

    Aries and Blinky…when we remember not to judge ,we automatically get angry less.Less anger,less loshon horah.

    Chesedname, I find that catchy slogans help me– and others.

    For example,to not judge:Know…that you don’t know!

    Not to get angry:Feel it–don’t reveal it.

    Not to say loshon hora:Think twice!Is it nice?

    Personally,I’m gonna work on the “feel it,don’t reveal it”, in honor of my mother’s upcoming yahrtzeit.

    Thank you for the “push” to do it!

    #715731

    blinky
    Participant

    popa- no one is perfect, and we are constantly supposed to be working on ourselves.

    BP- thats not a middah but its also a thing that i should work on too

    #715732

    minyan gal
    Member

    I agree with Blinky. None of us are perfect and there is always something or some behaviour that we have that we can try to improve on.

    #715733

    everyone agrees

    popa was joking (reading aries post not as a suggestion of a midah but as a criticism of the idea of the thread)

    his humor is sometimes invisible

    #715734

    charliehall
    Participant

    Maybe we should all get together and learn a classic mussar text?

    #715735

    WIY
    Member

    BP Totty

    You know the whole Krias Shema Sheal Hamittah baal Peh?

    #715736

    squeak
    Participant

    There was a thread in this vein a few years back that was very successful. (I’m responding to the poster who said that a thread like this won’t take off)

    #715737

    this isnt going to happen without some direction (leadership)

    chesedname why dont you decide what to work on and start a new thread with that in the title

    #715738

    chesedname
    Participant

    lets start with Dan L’kaf zchus

    b”n I’ll always look at things from “another” side!!

    lets post stories of how we were Dan L’kaf zchus

    #715739

    blinky
    Participant

    ok chesedname ill be dan lekaf zechus why you didn’t choose any of my ideas even though i replied first:)

    #715740

    bpt
    Participant

    “You know the whole Krias Shema Sheal Hamittah baal Peh? “

    Mostly. The problem is, I tend to fall asleep before finishing it. That’s why I thought a siddur (and sitting upright) would be a huge help.

    #715741

    chesedname
    Participant

    blinky

    i actually did, i saw your idea and realized it’s a step by step process

    first we have to be Dan L’kaf zchus

    than it’s easier not to get angry

    last if we’re Dan L’kaf zchus and not getting angry, we would automatically speak less lashon hara?

    looking forward to hearing of your positive results 🙂

    #715742

    WIY
    Member

    BP Totty

    Ill make you a deal if you promise to say it from a siddur every night I wil buy you an Artscroll Interlinear Translated Siddur on condition that you read it from that siddur and focus on the meaning of the words when you say them.

    #715743

    blinky
    Participant

    Chesedname- i dont want to share details but last night came a situation that i was quite annoyed at something and then i thought of this thread and i stopped to think of good possibilities that could have been the cause of what happened!

    WIY- Im also trying to say the whole kriyas shema al hamita but so far no luck- maybe you can explain the importance of saying it or something- thanx. I

    #715744

    bpt
    Participant

    WIY –

    I know 90% of the word’s meaning. I falling asleep because I’m zonked. But I did make progress; last night, I pulled out a siddur and left it on the kitchen table, but then got side-tracked, went to bed an hour later.. and this morning, found the siddur right where I left.

    I’ll try harder tonight.

    #715745

    amichai
    Participant

    count me in. I think the best way to keep up the excitement would be to pick a sefer on whatever midda we wish to work on. short passages that we can learn from and follow.

    #715746

    chesedname
    Participant

    blinky

    good for you!!! all the seforim bring down major brachas for being Dan L’kaf zchus, as well as not answering when being insulted.

    anyone else work on being Dan L’kaf zchus?

    #715747

    WIY
    Member

    blinky

    I cant go through it too thoroughly because each part has its own significance. I have taken bits and pieces from Artscrolls Interlinear Siddur. They have an explanation before every Tefillah in the siddur what its about and they also explain various phrases. Im a huge fan btw and I think its mandatory that any Jew who wants to really Daven with Kavannah should Daven from one of theses. I cant tell you how thankful I am to Artscroll for putting out this Siddur.

    Ok here goes:

    Shema before going to sleep is a protection against the dangers of the night. (Brachos 5a) Many of the Tefillos we say date back to the times of the Gemara and Geonic times.

    The Ribono Shel Olam tefillah (the first thing you say) is because before going to sleep it is proper for one to examine his/her deeds of that day and should one recall an improper deed one should pray for forgiveness and undertake to correct their ways.

    It is also proper to forgive those who wronged him/her. In the merit of this one will be granted long life (Mishah Berurah 239 1:9)

    Hamapil is about that the ideas and fantasies that we have during our wakeful hours not produce disturbing nightmares or immoral dreams. Such dreams menace the purity of our thoughts and feelings even during our waking hours.

    Blinky, there are a lot of other things we say in Krias Shema Sheal Hamitah and they are all important and many have deep Kabbalistic import.

    If you want to see more go to your local sefarim/judaica store and look at an Artscroll Interlinear Translated Siddur at the KSS”H part.

    Again I strongly reccomend you get an Artscroll Interlinear Siddur. It will change your level of Tefillah tremendously. I am willing to buy you one as well Bli Neder if you promise to use it daily and Daven with Kavannah.

    #715748

    blinky
    Participant

    wiy thanx for the explanations-i find it easier to concentrafe on a tefilla when i understand what its for and what it means. i actually have an artscroll siddur but thanx for the offer anyway! ill try it out tonight i”h. layla tov and a freilichin chanuka everybody!

    #715749

    blinky
    Participant

    I said it last night for the first time and it felt so good!- im keeping a small siddur next to my bed so i wont forget to do it!

    #715750

    WIY
    Member

    Blinky

    You are welcome! I’m so happy for you! Mitzva Goreres Mitzvah 😉

    #715751

    blinky
    Participant

    I think this thread needs to be bumped, the middah of the month was dan lekaf zechus!!!!!! Just a gentle reminder.

    #715752

    todah!

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