August 15, 2011 11:26 am at 11:26 am #1004697
Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped onto a piece of gum on the moon? He got stuck in Orbit.August 15, 2011 4:47 pm at 4:47 pm #1004699ToiParticipant
whats a veggies favorite rock star?
Elvis parsley. I’m honestly embarassed to know this. Laffy Taffy…August 15, 2011 9:24 pm at 9:24 pm #1004700YehudahTzviParticipant
A Rabbi walks into a bar with a frog on his shoulder. The bartender says, “Where did you find him?” The frog says, “Brooklyn, there’s thousands of them there!”September 12, 2011 9:52 am at 9:52 am #1004701
What do people working in a clock factory do? They sit and make faces all day.
When’s the best time to buy a budgie? While they are going cheap.
Why are bees all sticky? They use honey combs.
What part of a fish weighs easily? The scales.
Why did the witch leave her broomstick behind? Because it over swept.September 12, 2011 1:32 pm at 1:32 pm #1004702collegegradMember
Whats a cops favorite Tefilla? I Hava Rabba
What happens when you sleep with matza under your pillow? You get crumby dreamsDecember 16, 2011 1:03 am at 1:03 am #1004703Doodle-Man™Member
what did the latke say when the other one asked a question?
aah a talking latke!December 16, 2011 2:34 am at 2:34 am #1004704
Interrupting co-efficient of friction.
Interrupting co-efficient of-
MUUUUUUU!December 16, 2011 2:55 am at 2:55 am #1004705supergirl613Member
How do you watch time fly?
Throw a clock out the window!December 16, 2011 3:04 am at 3:04 am #1004706
There are ten types of people in the world: those who know binary and those who don’t.December 16, 2011 3:14 am at 3:14 am #1004707
A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist are sitting in a street cafe. They observe two people enter an abandoned building across the street. After a while, three people exit the building. The physicist remarks, “Our initial measurement must have been inaccurate.” The biologists counters, saying, “They have reproduced.” And the mathematician says, “If exactly one person enters the house, it will be empty again.”December 18, 2011 1:31 am at 1:31 am #1004708
OneOfMany: the way you wrote that binary joke, it looks like you havent understood it. No wonder you posted it in the worst jokes thread when in fact it is a very clever joke. It should read: There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don’t.
If you dont get the difference you dont know what binary is.December 18, 2011 1:45 am at 1:45 am #1004709
Why did the dead person go to the doctor,
Because it was coffinDecember 18, 2011 3:02 am at 3:02 am #1004710
Shticky Guy – math geekiness and good diction were grappling over that one. Good diction won out. 🙂December 18, 2011 3:13 am at 3:13 am #1004711
What’s red and not there? – no tomatoes
What is green, red, and goes 150 mph? – a frog in a blender
I am laughing so hard right now 🙂 What is wrong with me?December 18, 2011 3:26 am at 3:26 am #1004712
Ooh, ooh, cinderella just reminded me…what’s green, fuzzy, and if it fell from a tree could kill you? A pool table. *cue groans*December 18, 2011 10:15 pm at 10:15 pm #1004713
Blonde Musician: Did you hear my last recital? Friend: I hope so!
A blonde guy calls the hospital. You gotta help me he says my wife’s gone into labor. The nurse says calm down calm down, is this her first child? He says no its her husband.
Did you hear of the blonde who studied for her blood test and failed?
Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead? She wanted to make up her mind.
What did the blonde do when she missed the last 44 bus? She took the 22 bus twice.
While waiting at a cross walk for the light to change, a blonde asked why the signal was buzzing. When she was told it was to let blind people know when the light was red she replied “What in the world are blind people doing driving”.
Did you hear of the near tragedy at the mall? The power went off for 5 hours leaving twelve blondes stranded on their way to the 2nd floor on the escalator.December 18, 2011 11:07 pm at 11:07 pm #1004714
maybe it was that ball you went to last night and stayed up past midnightDecember 18, 2011 11:08 pm at 11:08 pm #1004715
those last two are goodDecember 18, 2011 11:22 pm at 11:22 pm #1004716
Yeah coffee. And I had to run all the way home from the ball with only one shoe. My feet are killing me!December 18, 2011 11:38 pm at 11:38 pm #1004717
the normal thing to do is either run with NO shoes or better yet hail a taxi.December 19, 2011 12:00 am at 12:00 am #1004718
Oh. I didn’t think of that. I was in such a rush because my stupid fairy godmother kept texting me that I was out past my curfew.December 19, 2011 12:34 am at 12:34 am #1004719
those fairy godmothers are no good,
never there when you really need them (if I was a fairy godmother I would be waiting outside the ball to pick you up)January 31, 2012 8:05 pm at 8:05 pm #1004720
This one did not even make the Laffy Taffy list:
What is pink and fluffy?
What is blue and fluffy?
Pink fluff holding its breath.January 31, 2012 9:42 pm at 9:42 pm #1004721ED IT ORParticipant
why did the dinosaur cross the road?
coz chickens weren’t invented yet!
what noise do dinosaurs make whilst sleeping? Dinosnoars!January 31, 2012 11:54 pm at 11:54 pm #1004722supergirl613Member
1.Why does the cookie have to go to the doctor?
Because it was feeling “crumby!!!”
2.How do you see time fly?
Throw a clock out the window!!February 19, 2014 7:18 am at 7:18 am #1004723👑RebYidd23Participant
Why did the farmer cross the road?February 19, 2014 1:45 pm at 1:45 pm #1004725
Q. What’s blue and smells like red paint?
A. Blue paint.
(Think about it)February 19, 2014 3:12 pm at 3:12 pm #1004726mobicoParticipant
Q. If one horse is shut in a corral, and one is running free, which is singing, “Don’t lock me up”?
A. Neither one. Horses can’t sing.February 19, 2014 4:11 pm at 4:11 pm #10047272good2btrueParticipant
Q. Why was the cookie sad?
A. Because his Mother was crumby and his Father was a “wafer” so long.February 19, 2014 4:14 pm at 4:14 pm #1004728Bookworm120Participant
“Email this to all of your friends or you’ll have six more weeks of winter.”
The worst jokes are always prefaced or epilogued with something along those lines. They’d be good if not for that. 😛February 19, 2014 5:07 pm at 5:07 pm #1004729
I’m actually still thinking about it. (How’s that for a bad joke?)February 19, 2014 10:24 pm at 10:24 pm #1004730
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.February 19, 2014 10:27 pm at 10:27 pm #1004731
A skeleton walks into a bar. He orders a beer and a mop.February 19, 2014 10:39 pm at 10:39 pm #1004732
What has eighteen legs and catches flies?
A baseball team.February 19, 2014 11:46 pm at 11:46 pm #1004733
squeak – love that skeleton joke!
One of my all time faves is:
An arab, a priest and a rabbi walked into a bar and the bartender said, “is this some kind of a joke?”February 20, 2014 2:11 am at 2:11 am #1004734
HEY, WHAT’S GOING ON? I DID NOT POST THIS: I’m actually still thinking about it. (How’s that for a bad joke?)
IS SOMEONE USING MY NAME SOMEHOW???February 20, 2014 2:31 am at 2:31 am #1004735
Rocky – stuff in bold is written by mods. They will edit or comment to you on you post. (Seems like it really was a bad joke)February 20, 2014 3:27 am at 3:27 am #1004736
Yeah, they censored another one about a
who crosses the road to put
.February 20, 2014 5:07 am at 5:07 am #1004737
was that a chicken joke? I think I’ve heard it.February 20, 2014 1:52 pm at 1:52 pm #1004738
Maybe if I spread the joke out over a few posts the moderator WHO SHOULD REALLY CUT ME SOME SLACK will be asleep at the wheel and let it pass.February 21, 2014 6:49 pm at 6:49 pm #1004739Bookworm120Participant
What do you get when ten of those despicable minions get together to daven mincha?
A Minion Minyan.
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