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There was an article in Hamodia on Sukkos about this topic, although the writer is clearly presenting only one side, it was written quite well. He makes a very valid point which has actually bothered me all along. The standard Halacha will always start with the Gemara and Poskim and when necessary bring proof from outside sources. However, in this case it is very clear for whoever learnt the basic Gemara that this Murex snail doesn’t fit with any of the semanim chazal provide us. It’s not גופו דומה לים. It’s not מראהו כמין דג. It doesn’t come up אחת לשבעים שנה. And many more basic Gemaros that don’t match up at all with this snail. Now, they’re providing sources from historical information and other scientific proofs. And then they come to the Gemaros. The tirutzim they have are very weak but might be okay, but they can for sure not bring any proof from any siman which the Gemara provides. So they say they have some other mefarshim that might sound like they’re referring to this snail, but why is this the way we learn and pasken? It just doesn’t make sense!
Unfortunately times have changed since this statement of Rav Miller Z”L.
There are very few elderly talmidei chachamim that make themselves available to the public to address sholom bayis issues. The few talmidei chachamim that are open to the public are very hard to get ahold of and one needs to get an appointment in advance for a few minute meeting. Now, no matter how great chochom they are it’s almost impossible to understand and evaluate a dysfunctional marriage in a few minutes.
In the previous generation Rabonim were much more accessible. As Rav Miller mentioned that he got many phone calls each day about sholom bayis issues. Even if there would be a Rav like Rav Miller nowadays, it wouldn’t be possible to call him and just have a conversation.
However, on the other hand marriage counselors can be terrible. Many salvageable marriages have been destroyed due to marriage counselors. They usually join a course for six months and with that training they break up marriages.
Currently the only solution in my opinion is that moshiach should come and solve all of our problems.
Leaving all kidding aside. The situation is very unfortunate. There aren’t any shadchanim around to help and the women aren’t willing to compromise, unless the guy is 100% perfect they wouldn’t go ahead.
I’m seeing their heavy advertisement recently and I’m always wondering what this is all about. Is this therapy or exercise classes? Is this for children only or also for adults? Anybody familiar?