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@matan1; OK thank you! now if you can please explain why you feel that way. Also pls explain at which point would you say it is indeed too far.
thanks so much..
Where are you coming from? does this have anything with the problematic gitin that were issued?
@matan1 No one is judging anyone–if you realized, I asked a question. Please feel free to answer it.
@livingrit No one is “blaming” the girls we are just trying to help them be realistic and practical.
How exactly do you expect the shaddchan to “show you work”? If the shadchan called 10 boys and emailed 15 boys (or their parents) to try to find a shidduch for a girl, does the shadchan need to show you the phone records or an email log to prove it?
@ubiquitin: I am sorry to say that: 1) from a frum perspective and having bitochon there is no reason a young 22 year old boy sitting and learning needs a “plan”. Look at the thousand of boys who have gotten married without a “plan” and are b’h doing great even financially. Apparently their “plan” is to trust in Hashem, which in my humble opinion is a great plan! 2) From a business point of view if your at the lower end at the bargaining table (even though it’s unfair) you don’t get to call the shots.
Needless to say if there is a legitimate reason of course she should stand firm and not give and get what she rightfully deserves.
@popa_bar_abba: You may not realize but there is in fact a lot of work being done behind the scenes.
@ Rebyidd23 All I’m saying is to be more “open minded” and not discard a good boy for silly reasons. Sometimes it even appears that the girl enjoys giving a “no” to a boy as if getting some-sort of revenge at the shidduch crisis. (I know this sounds crazy but sadly it is true).
@offbeat2 Well said!! I have been saying this for years.. There is no reason to make the girls feel as if they are a product on a supermarket shelf needing marketing. A Bas Yisroel not for sale!