catchylogin

Aries2576 wrote “Hey guys, some of you should take a good look in the mirror. Girls don’t want fatsos either!” Beautiful response. It needs to be said over and over again. I’m sending your reply to my unmarried sons. What is so unrealistic is that our young men are conditioned to want it all. The beautiful wife, babies, delicious meals and the size 2. Well said, Thank you.

Do yourself a favor and stop dieting and listening to these plans. Aries2476 just gave you some great advise. Just eat healthy meals, and add some extra healthy snacks like apples, grapes, cucumbers, carrots, etc. No one has to tell you what’s healthy, I’m sure if you thought about it, you know exactly what not to eat and what you should eat.

I’ll just add one more angle, get yourself a yoga teacher. Not a yoga demonstrator. You might need some changes in the way you spend your days. Someone who can teach you how to really incorporate a healthy lifestyle into your life, preferably a Jewish person who understands where you’re coming from. (Also buy a few new items of clothing that make you feel good.) Good luck.

The last item isn’t even what’s bugging me, at least the wife’s is on the program. It’s the typical attitude that you painfully put in writing, just get through the day with all the wrappings of a frum man. The minyan, job, learning, eating etc.and maybe an hour for the wife. This doesn’t sell marriage. Recently, I heard from a very with it 25 year old woman, now married about 5 years about how her Bais Yakov education painted frum married life as beautiful, The shabbos, yom tovim, zemiros, children, connecting with ones bashert, the kedusha in taharas hamishpacha etc. Well she and her married friends now commiserate on the good old days before marriage. These girls had fun. Husbands have to make their wives feel alive and important. They have to be more involved to make it work. Today’s wife is not the homemaker of previous years, that’s not really our value anymore. Today’s wife is usually working, must look beautiful all the time, run a household, plus take the time to daven, and do mitzvos and do it calmly. A woman needs to feel beautiful and be appreciated to do all of this. She needs to be on the top of that list. I realize you were joking but its exactly what’s wrong with many marriages.

It’s not enough just to marry people off, they have to work to keep the marriages alive.

OK.I’m done. You score a point here for asking what I would change. That was thoughtful. Thank you.

Cherrybim

“Fellows, this is the worst case scenerio: Day = 24 Hours

8 hours work

2 hours travel to/from work

2 hours davening shachris,mincha,mariv

2 hours learning

1 hour eating

1 hour shower/bathroom/etc.

7 hour sleep

1 hour free to endure wife’s bidding/yapping/shopping

So it’s not so bad.

And yaff80 has it right, for a guy at least, being alone is the worst.”

We can all hope that you are joking. Seriously, imagine being married to a frum man with this outlook. Being single would be an escape from misery. This is exactly what women don’t want. Unfortunately,some women are left with this empty shell when their spouses feel old and act it. To me this is a real loss of life. Imagine the offspring (if there are any) from this, plus the future generations. Just to let you know women sparkle when they are cherished and appreciated. Wow what an eyeopener. How sad.