cbd

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  • in reply to: New Reason For Shidduch Crisis #998967

    cbd
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    She says that “The boys that are learning and CAN learn are on a different caliber.” I wasn’t trying to judge anyone.I was trying to make the point that learning does not make someone better, rather character and middos are what makes a boy on a different level. I dated different types of boys and many learning, college and working boys were lacking middos and were not on any high level. Middos are what makes someone special.

    in reply to: New Reason For Shidduch Crisis #998961

    cbd
    Member

    I am shocked! How can you generalize and say that someone who is learning is better. My family has both sides, learners and workers. My brother-in-law is 35 and is still learning yet he lacks middos and acts and speaks with disrespect to my parents as well as to his parents. I decided that middos are way more important then learning and went out with all different types. I married a boy who was learning and in college at night(he learned after college until 1:30 am). He finished college and continued to learn, he loves learning! However, he has now taken a job -why? because our parents don’t have a lot of money (and i’m in college with a part time job, so i’m not making a lot of money) and he respects our parents, we don’t want our parents to go into debt because of us. So now my husband gets up at 5 to learn and then learns after work until 11:30. My husband says it is harder now then it was when he learned the whole day. I told him he doesn’t have to put himself on such a full schedule, but he says he wants his day full with learning. When my salary is enough my husband will go back to learning full time. So how dare you sterotype and say a certain types of boy are better-my husband has amazing middos plus a real desire for Torah. He is on a higher level then many full time learners(this a fact many chushuva Rabbeim have told me this after i was married)

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