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I’m not sure how this plays into this but I’ve asked my Rebbe regarding complimenting the girls on dates and such because I was concerned that it might be inappropriate/assur. His response was “do what’s normal and expected of you”. Regarding how many times to go out during the engagement period, he said every person is different and there isn’t a set rule. Do what feels right. Basically do whatever is normal and be sensitive to the girls needs because there is no one size fits all. If this was a clear cut assur I’m sure my Rebbe wouldn’t have told me that. This is a gray area which depends on the circumstances. I think you could apply this to much of the conversation above.
(My Rebbe is not from cc so dont make any assumptions)
Taking public transportation in Brooklyn/Manhattan at night is not safe for a girl. Taking public is also not time/cost efficient. Therefore it makes more sense to take a car. I’ve never felt that driving on a date is not tznius. Other aspects I have felt are not so tznius such as the girls getting decked out(over the top) but the actual driving was never an issue.
And as LU pointed out, the girls parents usually want to meet the guy first so it would be weird to then travel on a bus/subway together. It’s also quite untznius taking public transportation in general during the summer months.
On the topic of activities, I’ve found that they really break the ice and the boy/girl give the most accurate depiction of themselves during those times. It also allows you to see many aspects of the person which you would otherwise have a hard time finding out. In lobbies and similar venues there is too much pressure to be a stiff and proper.
I went to CC for high school and have friends that are still in the “system”. I can’t speak for all but the boys that I know are serious benei torah with very fine character.Some of them plan on going into chinuch and others are getting college degrees. There is a wide spectrum of the boys there and not all of them plan on opening a yeshiva in a random town. I’d say they are less “yeshivish” than brisk boys. I don’t know if you’re looking for a long term learner but that is really where the main difference will be for you in that he will want to go into chinuch (either locally or not) at a younger age.
Health:
You are correct that the ect was only going on the CUNY. But that’s all I was trying to define, as you so kindly requested. What does the fact that there are top schools have to do with the fact that others are adequate and have other advantages over these top schools?
I don’t know where come up with these rules that only caps lock is yelling but even so, what are you trying to convey with exclamation marks. I think it’s ridiculous unless you are trying to yell.
Health: Isn’t that what ect.implies? Where did I ever suggest that those are the only two?
I must’ve missed your point. Would you be so kind to explain what your point is? All you seemed to ask what my point was. Maybe you could elaborate a little more if it isn’t too difficult for you. I’d really appreciate it.
City University of New York
i.e. Brooklyn College, Queens College, etc.
My point is that these are decent schools. I’m not saying they’re amazing or anything but they provide the education needed to get into graduate programs. Touro is not any worse and it also provides the knowledge necessary for these programs. Just because a school isn’t “elite” doesn’t mean it can’t provide a decent education.
I’ve been in Lander College for Men and in a CUNY college. The sciences in Lander were much more rigorous than the CUNY.
I do
I’ve taken organic…
It would be a nice thing to know but I don’t see how you could find out much before the first date.Therefore, it is pretty irrelevant.
I just took Orgo I,II. It was a challenging course. I haven’t yet taken A&P but from what I understand Orgo is more difficult. A lot depends on the teacher so make sure to do your research!
uvda d’chol can sometimes be a vague issue. But if you never apply it, then you’ll end up watching TV,listening to the radio, ect on shabbos.(even though the rishonim/chazal didn’t explicitly assur them and they are items post-Shulchan Aruch/Rema)
But that does make it more reasonable to ask the question. As opposed to lighting a fire which no one would even have a thought to matir.
its not at all like lighting a fire on shabbos. The ben ish chai even says its muttar. It’s a big discussion on why it actually would be assur and at most its only derabanon.
SO you’re saying living in a house, driving a car, ect. are assur?