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looking like a basketball player may not be pretty, and it may not be elegant or classy, but it sure isn’t provocative either.
anything by jodi picoult
The 10th principle translates as follows: I believe with perfect faith that the Creator, Blessed be His Name, knows all the deeds of human beings and all their thoughts, as it is written, “Who fashioned the hearts of them all, Who comprehends all their actions” (Psalms 33:15).
Correct me if I’m wrong, but that principle refers to G-d’s omniscience. He was well aware since the beginning of time that one day, Orthodox Jews would have this gender discrepancy in dating age. And I do believe that He would never abandon us and has someone for all of us to marry.
I’m sorry if your faith is not as strong as mine.
And by the way, our dating fell into this pattern NATURALLY. There is no other way to do it. This is because of the maturity/sophistication gap between our young men and young women. If you plan to start a new movement of 18-year-old boys getting married, I’d suggest you begin training an army of men and women in psychology – and specifically marriage counseling – to help these babies stay married. I beg of you not to start a divorce epidemic.
For those few 18-year-olds who are ready, I say go for it! And for the 25-year-olds who aren’t, please, please wait.
I read your post and thought it very intelligently put. You sound like you care very much about the “shidduch crisis” but are aware that such “solutions” cannot work.
If you are a believing Jew, you WILL agree with the following two points:
1. G-d has a great Master Plan in place for the entire world, and for every individual in this world.
2. The abovementioned Plan includes a spouse for everyone who is destined to get married.
(If you do NOT believe either #1, #2, or both, your problems are far greater than I can help you with. You need to find a qualified rabbi to discuss that issue.)
So why, then, are a great number of young men and women who are looking for their predestined match having so much trouble finding it?
A: WE DO NOT KNOW
This is such a devastating problem in our community that one can only assume that the cause of it is OUR shortcomings; this must be punishment for some community-wide sin. (The blame is definitely NOT placed on the shoulders of our singles; rather on our society at large.)
As a tip for those “in shidduchim”, we can definitely suggest letting go of prejudice such as yeshiva, seminary, family background, physical appearance, and yes, age as well… but let’s not blame numbers because we don’t want to accept blame ourselves. It is so much easier to spend time, energy, and the patience of others to research and preach about data that contradicts points #1 and #2 than to admit that we need to improve ourselves to bring merit upon our nation.
And before you tell me that G-d had it all worked out and we bumbling mortal fools came and wrecked His Plan, realize what you are saying about His omniscience and clairvoyance and decide yourself if that rebuttal is heresy.
May all searching singles find their spouse soon.