harri

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  • in reply to: Tension based on spouse's change in tznius #975445
    harri
    Member

    isnt the halacha that if a wife stops covering her hair, her husband should divorce her? so if it is even a worse aveira (like shabbos or kashrus) wouldnt it logically mean he certainly should not tolerate it?

    in reply to: Goyim mixed in with the Jewish People #975089
    harri
    Member

    akuperma: correct me if im wrong, but i seem to remember learning that we wont be accepting converts after moshiach arrives. (otherwise all the gentiles will suddenly feel like converting.)

    in reply to: Goyim mixed in with the Jewish People #975087
    harri
    Member

    sam: i think you meant to write a mother was a goy faking being a jew?

    but really? if a goy wants her children to be jewish (or lets say she committed a crime and the police are hunting her down so she hides among the jews to escape justice), she can move to a town where she is unknown, pretend to be jewish, and her children are considered true jews?

    and same with a reform convert from 75 or 150 years ago whose children or grandchildren truly thought they were real jews, and then a kiruv rabbi (not knowing the background) was “mekarev” them from reform without any conversion, her children are considered real jews?

    in reply to: Am I going to gehenim? #977222
    harri
    Member

    sam: perhaps i am not stressing enough that even once i both realize that i am biting my nails and that it is shabbos, as much as i want to stop, even being cognizant of those two facts i still simply cannot get myself to stop. and i did it on yom kippur even after realizing what i am doing. i certainly did not want to do it on yom kippur. i did it even though the people sitting next to me might have noticed me doing it. i just couldnt stop myself.

    in reply to: Am I going to gehenim? #977220
    harri
    Member

    Ash: That’s a great suggestion. I actually tried it. And it worked! It actually worked for quite a few months. And then I slipped back.

    in reply to: Am I going to gehenim? #977218
    harri
    Member

    thank you everyone for your helpful input about both practical solutions to help stop it and halachic information.

    when i start biting it usually is without being cognizant. but after half a minute or a minute of it, i’ll suddenly tune in to the fact i am biting my nail. and i also then remember it is shabbos. (or in yesterday’s case, also yom kippur.) and i STILL cant break the activity. at that point half nail is peeled and i say STOP. but after a few seconds i peel off the hanging half. or even sometimes “even out” one finger with a longer nail to match one with a smaller nail (since i bit that one.)

    based on this is appears i am certainly guilty of willfuly violating a derabbonon that carries gehenim.

    i know it makes no sense, but i just cant stop myself even though i want to stop. maybe the underlying cause is anxiety. that is very possible or even likely.

    golfer: i try adding specific special bakoshos from Hashem during davening. i havent added this yet, so thanks for the suggestion. but another problem i have is when i add a special tefila (i do it towards the end of shemone esrei in sim shalom before osei shalom), after a few days i am mumbling that bakoshe by rote without feeling special meaning anymore.

    nechomah: i am aware of that and have already unsuccessfully tried using that as an incentive to get myself to stop. i even heard that if you leave your nails in public you will have to come back to this world as a gilgul (not necessarily human) to clean them up. i put the cut nail on the table and later throw them out. (really they should be burnt or buried.) sometimes, though, it gets lost before i have a chance too.

    yitayningwut: how is it ????? ????? ????? ????? and how does that absolve me?

    in reply to: Goyim mixed in with the Jewish People #975085
    harri
    Member

    if you think about the mishnas situation, that would’ve been very scary. a mamzer 1000 years ago passed off as a kosher jew and when eliyahu hanavi comes he would suddenly declare 50,000 descendants of his as mamzerim. thankfully that doesn’t happen.

    in reply to: Goyim mixed in with the Jewish People #975084
    harri
    Member

    yitayningwut: thank you for sharing that mishna. i dont think it relates to my question because it seems to be referring to jews specifically, and in my question the subjects would be gentiles.

    also, i seem to recall that mishna is referring to a situation like a mamzer who no one knows is a mamzer, so moshiach (or actually eliyahu hanavi) will not “out” as a mamzer and he will be allowed to continue living as a kosher jew.

    thanks again for bringing that relevant mishna.

    in reply to: Am I going to gehenim? #977202
    harri
    Member

    dealie, yeah i know i could do it. but its much harder than you think. and ive tried to break the habit for years and years literally. i slowed it down but never got rid of it. and if for arguments sake lets say im never successful in breaking it compleytely, even on shabbos, am i going to pay for it in the next world?

    lakewood, you dont think genehim is a cakewalk do you? gehenim is meant to be scary because it is scary. my teachers taught us that the seforim describe genhenim in much worse terms than he could relate to us.

    in reply to: Am I going to gehenim? #977197
    harri
    Member

    wiy, i wanna do teshuva but i really really cant control myself on this. ive been doing it for years and years since im a child.

    147, but dont you go to gehenim for willfully violating an osuur mderabbonon too??

    in reply to: At what point are you officially one side or the other? #983382
    harri
    Member

    my school is coed. thats an example of being on the left. maybe someone from a right yeshiva can give an example from there.

    in reply to: Changing to a different nusach #985389
    harri
    Member

    the arizal suggested switching from ashkenaz to sefard. so you would be in good company following the arizal.

    in reply to: At what point are you officially one side or the other? #983380
    harri
    Member

    i went to yeshiva of flatbush. basically if you are modern orthodox you are on the left spectrum of orthodoxy. if you are yeshivish you are on the right. then there are degrees in between where you are not mo and not chareidi.

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