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keep climing- I know this may sound cliche and have heard this many times- though I honestly completely understand how you feel.
That being said, i don’t think it’s necessary to go through my entire story as its almost identical to yours. I suffered everything you describe, when I was in high school. I had terrible social anxiety, very few friends and became extremely withdrawn. This lead to severe depression anxiety which interfered with every aspect of my life. Worst of all horrible about myself. The worst I felt myself the more anxiety i suffered which led to feeling worst about myself. It was a completely vicious cycle I couldn’t get myself out of.
My heart cries when I read this post. There is so much to say. B’h I finally did get the help I need, mainly from a professional. I see your already doing that and I highly commend you for doing that. Its important that it is someone whom you feel comfortable with.
now after being out of school for a few years, I feel better about myself and life then I every would have imagined possible!! I wish I would have realized how much better things could get!!!
At the time I was totally certain there was nothing I was good at or could accomplish. Now I realize how completely not true that was. Believe it or not, I’m beginning to realize how all my struggles and difficulties have helped me develop and come to many realizations about myself and life. I though that was totally impossible when I was in school.
I see many have already given great advice. So i’ll keep my advice short.
Do realize there are many who felt that way who’s life have improved.
Do not despair.
Do not underestimate your value for a second. you are so precious
Hope my story helps even just a drop