just an observer

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  • in reply to: midwives.. #807257

    i actually wont be posting again because i really dislike how people feel the need to debate so much around here- i got my fill from the debate team in high school, so i dont need to get into it here…

    health- i understand that most people would not hire a single girl (in america or in israel) but there are people who do- especially for the right price with the right experience and the right “chemistry”. i attended births of yeshivish,chareidi, kollel families to answer your question (and one chiloni- go figure she chose to take a chareidi girl…)

    my point to show here is that you can gain experience and hopefully a single young woman who chooses to become a doula will one day become a married young woman who is a doula and from there her clientele can expand.

    to golden mom- no offence taken, that is why i chose to write in the beginning of my post that i am not a bais yaakov graduate- so there wouldnt be any gneivas daas…. and please dont judge my life/my family when you clearly do not know me- i choose to keep my private life private but so you should know, B”H my husband is sitting and learning full time and has been for years (even before we met) and through his torah learning we are thriving, and we have no plans on changing that status anytime soon.

    and it is comments like the one you made above, that i will now delete the email that was sent to me with the funny password that no one can memorize even if they tried….my original post was for Geshmakke mentch and for her alone…

    in reply to: midwives.. #807252

    ok- i NEVER post but after reading this i had to…(that seems to be the trend no?)

    let me start with where i am at now- married (to an amazing full time ben torah), mommy, in middle of nursing school (maybe even onto midwifery once that is done), and certified doula.

    no i am not a bais yaakov graduate but i felt i should post anyway.

    i took and completed a doula course to become a certified doula when i was SINGLE- not yet dating even….i personally took a course in israel (not through DONA) which was a once a week, 8 month course- no college degree necessary….in order to complete the course i had to attend a certain amount of births voluntarily. only after getting certified was i able to charge. i was very nervous about the fact that i was a single girl with no actual experience and how that would effect if any woman would want to take me on as her doula….shockingly you would be surprised how many women (yes even the frum ones) want a doula, and nowadays the cheaper the better- so getting experience is no problem since you cant charge so thats a major appeal, but starting off you build up your name and slowly start increasing your price. EVEN a “married with kids” doula CANNOT charge the “going rate” right away without lots of experience (and that doesnt count your own births…you werent really supporting yourself now were you?)

    to sum up my certified doula experience- by EVERY birth i attended while i was single- the new and glowing mommy said “i could never have done it without you!” no matter if i was there for many hours with her or just 2, whether i was hands on, breathing with her, and giving her chizuk or none of the above and just standing there holding her hand….what i learned- you dont have to personally know what actually having a baby is like yet in order to give support and chizuk!!!!!!! you just have to know what you are talking about and doing- things which you learn in the course.

    i got married despite being a doula already- shocking i know….and it was always comforting during dating for the boys to know that being a doula is a flexible job which i can choose how many births to attend per month so i wont be bogged down….obviously you are still on call…i didnt really take on too many births after i got married though since i was very busy with nursing school and having a baby of my own.

    now for midwifery- kol hakavod to you for knowing its what you want to do and being “courageous” enough for admitting it, even to yourself. i find a lot of people feel its taboo and not the norm, because you know what? its not. midwifery is not for everyone. but one thing i can assure you- there is NOTHING like the feeling after you help bring a new neshama into the world. (at least if you have the same interests in hands-on midwifery like i do…)

    i dont know how it works in the states, but in israel midwifery doesnt happen in a year or 2,first comes nursing (3-4 yrs) then practicing as a nurse for 1 yr and then finally a 10 month midwifery course. so if it works the same way as here i give you a bracha- may you find the best school for you while finding your bashert. and the he and his family will love where you are going in your “career shel chessed” because that is exactly what it is.

    one more point i would like to make….as long as you are devoted to being the best wife and mother you can be first, you can find(and really HaShem finds) ways to help you out with your schooling/work schedules….everything is from Him and for the best….

    lots of luck and looking forward to hearing about many of your own simchos and simchos you helped bring about.

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