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As a side not, i do apologize to any mechanchim who are reading this thread and are offended. I mean no disrespect. But, I am trully saddened by what i read as i scrolled through 3 pages of posts and realize that so many people dont see the tragic outcomes of yeshiva misfits. I am respectfully bowing out and hope that you take my apology sincerely.
Im was responding to the OP’s post in that particular situation. No, I don’t know the yeshivas POV and it’s irrelevant because they arent gunna tell us. Like i said, i’m responding to the OP. And yes, I am outraged by the wool thats been pulled over some of the responding posters eyes. Where is a happy medium? If one isnt Yeshivish or chassidish then they automatically fall into MO?
I’m taking a risk by saying this, but everybody breaks rules. Not that it makes it right, but it’s common practice among people. He didnt cheat on a test. He spoke to a girl, he broke the rules, he got kicked out. The OP clearly states that the boys who supported him wouldnt be allowed to graduate if they didnt back down. That is chinuch? Now, if the yeshivas are going to nitpick over every talmid that breaks a rule, then maybe i wont have to open my own MO yeshiva. I’ll have plenty of rejects to fund my school cuz of your warped way of thinking.
Here’s a different approach.
Fine, the boy broke a school rule– he spoke to a girl (gasp- who really cares what they spoke about??)
Let’s assume he had prior warnings and was caught again committing the same inexcusable crime, is that REALLY a reason to expell him 3 weeks before he’s due to graduate?
Now, being that many of us have B”H been blessed with children, let’s try to put ourselves in this boy’s parents situation. It’s 12 years later, it’s been a bumpy ride all along, there is no happy medium yeshiva waiting with open arms to accept our pathetic excuses for talmidim cuz they speak to girls. So, as good parents do, we pay our tuition cuz we have to, we send our kids to yeshiva cuz we have to, and we follow all the rules of society cuz we have to. Or else. So, with 3 weeks left before this kid is set to graduate, and the menahel has pocketed thousands of dollars in tuition over the years, and with nothing left to lose, he gives this rotten apple the boot. Let’s hear it for the menahel who has saved so many yiddishe neshomos from the shmutz this boy is infiltrating into the choshuva doors of the beis medrish. Bravo, Rebbe.
Fast forward 15 years. The OP said this boy earns straight A’s. So, he gets a GED, goes to college, eventually graduates from Harvard Law, and is now partner in a top law firm on Park Ave making a 7 figure salary (while attending daf yomi and giving bar mitzva lessons to special needs yingelech).But, guess who is asked to get honored at the Alumni Dinner?? Yep, it’s the bum that wasnt good enough for your yeshiva 15 years ago.
Or the opposite happens and he’s sitting for 40 years for various crimes he committed cuz he was a failure anyway. Well, duhh!!
PEOPLE!!!! WAKE UPPP!!!!!! The responses on this thread are earth shattering!! How dare a rosh yeshiva do that to a kid. Doesnt he see that this boy has some underlying issues? Whats the purpose of him using this boy as an example? You think other boys arent talking to girls? There are plenty, they just hid it better. But why 3 weeks before he’s set to graduate? Dont ruin his life because you are seeking revenge for your own failings as a mechanech.
And for the lay people out there: I’ll bet that if I gathered 100 OTD kids, boys and girls alike, and asked them what turned them away, 95 of them will say it was something to do with a teacher, a rebbe, a rosh yeshiva or a principal. The other 5 have various other issues (not for this thread).
The bottom line is that we must take responsibility for our actions or in this case inactions. This post might have started from a teeny little nothing or it can be a father struggling with a son who has no place to turn now. But, if we keep our mouths shut, and dont protest to the hypocricy of the yeshiva system today, then tomorrow it might be your son, daughter or even grandchild that will lose out. Because even good apples go bad eventually.
Take care of your kids. They are the future of Klal Yisrael.
(p.s. In no way am I saying that ALL yeshivas are guilty of this shamefulness; there are those special ones that do ”get it”. They know who they are and kol hakavod to them for embracing our children for who THEY are.)