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hello99- without trying to offend you, anyone who believes “yesh lehachmir” is just a chumra hasn’t spent anytime learning halacha. If the poskim want to give you a “good idea to be machmir” type of psak, they say “baal nefesh yachmir”, or something which tells you that me’ikar hadin theyre being meikel. “yesh lehachmir” means assur. It’s the authors way of saying “I don’t feel comfortable saying that you can me meikel here.” Please do not misinterpet halachos as a basis for your opinion.
sam4321 and Chani T- Check out the sefer Nishmat Avraham- (written by a talmid of R’ Shlomo Zalman Aurbach as well as a talmid of the Shemiras Shabbos Kehilchasa)- who brings that very medrash and cites it as a proof for those poskim who DO allow one to find out the sex of a child; Since the parallel Gemara does NOT list knowledge of the baby’s gender as one of the things not known to man, we follow the Gemara’s version over the Medrash and permit one to find out their baby’s gender.
Didn’t you guys ever have chosson classes? My mashgiach who was a talmid of R’ Shlomo Wolbe told us in the first chosson class that this mishna is not applicable to todays generation. Additionally, ‘Sicha’ depicts wasteful, ‘shooting the breeze’ conversation. When dealing with you’re wife, there is no such a thing as a waste of time; she needs the emotional connection to you, and if you think you or her are ‘bigger than that’ You should put some more time into your relationship, BECAUSE IN HOW MANY OF YOUR OTHER RELATIONSHIPS DO YOU COUNT YOUR WORDS!