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  • in reply to: Who is Mordechai Schmutter? #967058

    1. The whole point of the quiz is mainly to remind them of the rules. So it doesn’t matter if they’ve seen it before.

    2. Hold your mazel tov until you read the article. If you’ve read any articles about my house, you’ll know it’s never that simple.

    3. I have Google Alerts set to send me an email whenever my name is mentioned anywhere online. As well as some common misspellings.

    in reply to: Who is Mordechai Schmutter? #967054

    Thanks. I don’t really know why I care if people believe that it’s me, and there’s no way I will ever get anyone to believe it anyway. I mean, look at the topic of this thread. If people don’t believe I exist, how will they believe the guy posting as me is actually me?

    The best I can do is tell you what my next six Hamodia articles are going to be about:

    July 24 — a guy in England who makes jet-powered bicycles, strollers, and kettles

    July 31 — My stint as a dummy at a Hatzolah training session.

    August 7 — Scientists discovering why we itch.

    August 14 — The construction we’re doing on the entranceway of our house.

    August 21 — My experience as a mascot at my kids’ camp.

    August 28 — A quiz that I give my returning students on the first day of school.

    The only possible way I could know all that is if I’m me. Sure, you could claim I’m someone else who works at Hamodia and has the inside track, but that’s pushing it. And anyway, I didn’t hand in my August 28th article yet, so even Hamodia didn’t know what it was until just now. (I assume they use Yeshiva World. How else do they get their news?)

    in reply to: Who is Mordechai Schmutter? #967050

    I can’t really comment on that article without stooping to loshon hora, which, while I’m all for it, is against Yeshiva World’s policies. But I did rush an article out a couple of weeks afterward that, while not directly addressing that article, did speak about identity theft in general, and had some pictures of me.

    in reply to: Who is Mordechai Schmutter? #967046

    No, I think this thread is okay. I need to hear what people don’t like about my humor so I can see if I can try to improve in those ways (hopefully without detracting from the aspects that everyone else likes). I don’t really see how it’s different from saying, “I don’t like Store X, because it doesn’t carry these products.” Maybe Store X will read your post and decide to carry them.

    I don’t think everyone has to pretend to like me just because saying they DON’T like me will affect my parnassah. How am I supposed to grow without the people who know of ways for me to be better?

    But maybe, instead of saying a blanket statement, they should actually be specific about WHAT they don’t like about my humor, or ways that they think I can improve.

    in reply to: Mordechai Schmutter #894368

    This is Mordechai — Thanks for all the compliments!

    If you’d like to buy ,,idn 3PIS SIHL,, (read that while standing on your head) directly from me, my email address is edited. You can buy it from Amazon or Israel Book Shop, but they probably won’t inscribe it.

    A few replies to previous posts:

    EZRAT H. — Every article I write will hopefully make it into a book at some point, IY”H. Unfortunately, I’m mostly going chronologically, so it will be a while. If you want to catch the article again, it will probably be in the 5 Towns Jewish Times and the Lakewood Shopper (and maybe some other papers) this coming Purim.

    KRUNCH — Yeah, I’m a frum Dave Barry. The world needed one. I have all his books on a shelf right outside my bathroom, and I wrote a college thesis on him.

    ADDICT — Passaic is out of town? I can see Manhattan from any hill in my neighborhood! And driving-wise, if you’re coming from Brooklyn, and I’m coming from Passaic, I’m about three hours closer!

    BPT — What do you call “roots”? I lived there until I was 6, but am primarily a Monsey kid. Neither of my parents are from there either.

    ADORABLE – Who’s your aunt? I probably shouldn’t ask, but you mad me very curious. I was always wondering if someone is walking around, going, “I dated that guy! Boy am I glad it didn’t work out!”

    Thanks again for everything,


    PS — I’m on facebook now! But I don’t advertise it.

    Sorry, we don’t allow email addresses. But we are really glad to have you here. I am a big fan. Mod-95

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