Outsider

Since when is Shul NOT a place to mingle? (Just had to ask because it is a place for a community to meet)

I’m not even a card carrying Baal Teshuva… and I gotta agree. Rules are Rules. Put a sign in front of the Shul informing everyone that a proper dress code is required.

As someone in power, you have ever right to enforce the rules that you feel are important and restrict membership and/or entry to anyone who feels differently. Mail a general letter, and if that doesn’t work, then face the problem head on.

Either you’re going to have standards or you aren’t.

Ikno, I’m having a tough time understanding what you wrote. However, I’ve personally found that the best way to deal with cynics to treat them like stupid children. Respond to them with kindness and explanations as to why and how you do things you do. They will either get bored and leave you alone or they will feel guilty for having been rude.

Maybe they have a brain tumor.

Think of how telling someone you can’t be friends with them will affect their view of the frum community. As a yet to become Baal Teshuva, I strongly feel that the traditional Jews really need to work on righting their outward image of being unfriendly.

What would Rabbi Hillel or Baal Shem Tov say?

Instead of pushing them away, ask them to be part of your community by inviting to your Shul or for a Shabbas meal.