Forum Replies Created
Wondering how everyone is doing.
MonseyIma, would love to hear if your daughter found
her zivug yet.
Or anyone else that commented in the past.
B”H I’m doing very well.
Beee-that’s a great idea.
However, I don’t think the mods would allow such a thing 🙁
Update: B”H I am engaged!!!
Thank you to everyone who gave me chizuk.
Monseyima, I hope your daughter finds her zivug at the right time, Be”H.
Same goes for E120, Shopping613, and Shegold96.
May you all be zoche to find your zivuggim at the right time.
Bochurim, to you as well. Hatzlacha and bracha to each of you
on finding your eizer kinegdo.
May we all share only simchos together, and may we be zoche to see Moshiach B’meheira Viyameinu…April 10, 2018 11:25 am at 11:25 am in reply to: Is it reasonable to tell a 21 yr old boy to date a 24 yr old girl !!!!!! #1504586
Nobody should be forced or pressured into dating anyone, regardless of age.
However, if maturity-wise etc both parties are on the same page, why not go out?
Anyone familiar with “Professor Chai and his torah zoo?”
It seems to be unknown by many, but it also is made by the same people as The Purim Story.
I highly recommend listening to it!
I wouldn’t say that I can’t get a shidduch….
I haven’t started yet, as I’m currently in the middle of taking a course in computers.
Be”H I hope to get a job in IT, then start.
Although I am a little nervous about shidduchim, I have come a long way as to accepting that I’m not a full time learner.
I know of two guys personally that are in the construction business.
Both are pretty serious guys.
The first one got married not long after he started.
The same thing happened to the second one. (he’s currently engaged) He is Bucharian, and his kallah is related to him somehow. I suspect some would say that doesn’t count.
Is a serious guy in a brick-and-mortar store so different than these guys?
Both were in-towners in an OOT yeshiva.
Question-obviously the cost of living and other expenses vary depending on location etc.
How much do you (the commenters) think a couple needs to start out with?
How much do you think one needs to make in 5 years? 10 years?
I know that it will vary greatly, but what are ballpark figures?
Thank you again to everyone.
Good morning everyone.
This has really turned out to be quite an interesting conversation.
I hope there’s more!
Anyone else have anything to add/share?
Joseph-thanks for the cute thought.
Thank you for all of the replies.
I do feel better already.
Any other thoughts?
There are cities I’m thinking of are on the east coast.
Don’t want to be specific.
Thank you shopping613.
For example, I own a 1997 Toyota Camry.
As long as it’s clean and presentable,
why shouldn’t I be able to date in it?
That kind of mindset is what i’m looking for.
Thank you malach and shopping613.
Thank you MTAB.
That’s one thing that seems to be better in some smaller, more OOT communities.
Acceptance and more appreciation of Baalei Baatim.
I’ve seen that personally in a few smaller communities.
I’m looking for either an OOT girl, or at least someone with that kind of outlook.
Living more simply, etc
Sure, we all like nice things, but not everything is a necessity
Here’s the big question:
Who here is looking for the same thing in a shidduch?
(either themselves or someone in immediate family)
We’ve heard from one mother, and one girl who might
It’s one thing to say that there are those that are, and quite another
to say that you are.
Thank you again to everyone who has commented.
I already have a lot to think about.
But please keep the thoughts/advice/suggestions etc coming!
Is there anyone who personally feels/felt the same way?
I don’t think it’s just me.
I have had hardships and difficulties in my life.
Overall, I think I’m doing pretty well, B”H.
Thank you Shopping613.
Honesty is very important to me.
I’m looking for someone that I can be completely myself around them.
Someone who I feel I can confide in.
I’m usually on the quieter side.
I’m definitely not the life of the party type at all.
In yeshiva, I was one of the first to go to sleep.
I don’t think I’ve really ever had a desire to stay up late like most guys seem to do.
Early to bed, early to rise, I guess?
Comes with being a Yekki.
Along with nightmares of being late to davening.
(I actually have had nightmares like that)
Just finished a half hour of learning Halacha. 🙂
Honestly, there is nothing I’d like to do more than start shidduchim now.
But I feel the smartest thing is to have a viable parnassah before.
I don’t have a fallback option like others do.
I know that I can’t be supported financially by my parents.
I’m from out of town, and went to an established yeshiva out of town.
I was actually the only bochur from my city.
To get home I would rent a car.
I had to pay for that myself (occasionally my parents did give me something towards that)
I earned money by checking the eruv and learning mishnayos with an elementary school boy.
I don’t expect (or really want) to be supported by my in-laws.
Hence, I feel the need to have a parnassah first.
It’s so hard to speak to people about this.
The yetzer hara tells you that somethings wrong with you.
You must not have enough Yiras Hashem, or else you’d want to learn…
It feels so hard when everyone’s talking in learning, and it’s basically all above your head.
Seeing people quote gemaras in their sleep etc…
It all feels so overwhelming.
Be”H I hope on putting more effort into my learning.
Listening to shiurim, Halacha, Mishnayos etc.
Thank you to everyone for your responses.
Please keep them coming.
By the way, in regard to knaasim,
I was referring to monetary fines from the yeshiva,
to those that came late to shachris.
Shopping613, thank you.
P.S. Recently I have been trying to learn some Halacha on a daily basis.
I also have been doing shnayim mikra.
I really appreciate the positive responses. Please keep them coming!
Be”H my goal is to set up a seder with a chavrusa on a daily basis
I think straight out Halacha I would enjoy more.
If anyone knows of any leads in IT (computer field) I’m very interested.
My PCS course ends in June, Be”H.
Thank you MonseyIma.
I agree that there needs to some learning on a daily basis.
It hurt so much being in yeshiva, watching many of my friends
learning and enjoying it…
I’ve always known that learning full time was not for me.
It’s accepting that there’s nothing wrong with me that’s harder sometimes.
Thank you for your comment.
At this point, I haven’t started dating yet.
The only thing really holding me back from starting is having a real job.
I know that my parents are not going to be able to support me financially.
And what experience do you have?
(I’m looking for more than a yes and no answer)
I hope it is.
But do you have any firsthand experience in this regard?
My thoughts exactly MTAB.
I’m really looking for insights, although encouragement helps too!
NO, definitely not a poem.
Although I am good at making grammen.
But that’s neither here nor there.