talmud student

Your not a Rasha .. Evil people don’t look at themselves as evil … trust me I know from experience .
What you are is an sensitive person in a world which the leadership are people who don’t work on the same emotional plain as you .
My advice is
1- accept that you are not perfect
2- nobody else is perfect either .. some of those who look it are just smart but have many sins behind the scenes .
3- don’t compare yourself to others altogether.
4- accept that your perfection is going to take many years
5- work on small things that are middos oriented and eventually ( like in a year ) you can start working on other areas of Avodas Hashem .

Hatzlocha !!!