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I never thought much about it until about a year or so ago. I saw a video of a very well known figure in the Jewish music world (no need to mention names) performing at a camp. I was appalled by what I saw: the boys (black hat, mostly mid-teens from what I could tell) hopping up and down and gyrating like animals. It looked like something you would see in the lowliest of goyishe dance clubs. If this kind of music engenders THAT kind of behavior, then I am VERY worried
Reading the first letter, my reaction is that it may very well be an OVER-REATION. Yes, you read that right.
Why was there a goy in shul? The answer is obvious: he was a guest. He was there for the ensuing wedding. Is it possible that these immodestly dressed girls were shiksas or maybe even non-religious Jewish friends/relatives also there for the wedding? Is it possible that, rather than reflecting declining standards of tznius in our communities, it’s an unavoidable consequence of what happens when Jewish families are “mixed” as to their religiousness.
Instead of being upset, maybe we should be all the more proud that the chassan and kallah chose the path they chose, rather than be influenced by these friends and relatives who live like the goyim