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You ARE kidding, right?
With all the “tzuris” going on, with drugs, alcoholism, abuse, fraud, chilul Hashem, and going off the derech, you don’t REALLY mean to attack the ehrlich if time-challenged girl davening on a train?!
I mean, as you said, she’s isn’t obligated to daven at all, so what’s the difference where she does it? And why the tznius issue at all- that’s a man’s concern, isn’t it? What, she might have bad thoughts from seeing a woman with too little clothing on?
Yeshiva guy, get a life, find a real issue to work on. There are (sadly!) a lot of them out there!
Quite aside from the veracity of the story, I have to question the moral lesson here: Don’t feel guilty about causing a death, because the person “obviously” deserved to die?
It seems to me that even if this story was true, it is better not being told.
Likewise with some of the “Emunah books” now being sold in seforim stores, like “Ein od milvado”, that tell how having really deep emunah helps prevent you from being caught by the police for law violations, but says nothing about observing the law. Very strange lessons to teach, in my opinion, not what one would expect from the people that claim to have taught the world morality.
And today, erev shabbos, I open the paper to see that a Bais Ribka girl died of an overdose, and a quasi-famouys NY “aguna” has gone to jail for insurance violations at her nursing home!
How about this: On Tisha b’Av, let’s replace the lashon harah lecture with a lecture about ehrlichkeit, avoiding chilul Hashem, and how to watch our kids for drugs.
I’m not pro-lashon hara, but we need better priorities!
Gavra Rabba: You’re of course correct, and I know that- I grew up outside of NY. However, dealing with the reality means that the bulk of the community still lives in NY/ NJ, and can’t/ won’t move for many reasons, right or wrong, and thus a way needs to be found to ease pressure in a kosher way.
Bentzy: You’re right about the home atmosphere being far and away the single most important factor in raising frum, happy, and normal kids. No one questions that. But how does one do that? Your suggestions are obviously good, but just as obviously many homes do not or cannot function well in that way.
I would suggest that classes in “having a happy home” should be a part of the yeshiva & BY curriculum, along with classes on “ehrlichkeit in business” and “dina d’malchusa”.
Still and all, the pressure is tremendous and many people cannot handle it, as we see from the many news reports we hear of people cracking under the pressure. When a big gvir gives money, do you not think that many ask him for more no matter how much he gives? I am sure we have all experienced being asked to raise our donations, imagine how much more of that a wealthy man gets, and thus it becomes easier to understand why he might look to drugs for escape.
The same for a typical young fellow today. The wife and in-laws want him to buy a house, multiple kids and tuitions, the minimum the average young guy NEEDS today is a number older people cannot even imagine, and is far above the median income in the US. How can we alleviate this situation? Of course these young guys look to kiddush clubs and the like, they need a way to escape the pressure, and this is a “kosher” way, comparatively.
We pay lip service to this by making “takanos” about weddings and banning things, but the real problem is festering. Censoring the news in the name of lashon hara helps us feel better about not doing anything. Hiding the tragedies in the name of not hurting future shidduchim also has the effect of helping us ignore the reality.
Something has to be done, and killing the messenger hasn’t worked.