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Out Of The Mailbag – To YW Editor (Food For Thought – Purim/Pesach)


yw logo6.jpgTo YWN Editor:

I would like to pose to the chosheva oilam the following thought that has been bothering me for a number of years.

We are all bombarded on Purim with limo after limo of bochurim coming to collect for various tzedokoh organizations. I pose the following question: Why are mosdos-yeshivas, kiruv organizations etc. jumping on the Purim bandwagon?? Isn’t Purim specifically designated as a day for Matonos Loevyonim? Why are mosdos taking advantage of a halochoh of Kol Haposhet Yad Nosnim?

While not diminishing the need of various mosdos and organizations to raise needed funds, I believe that the money raised by these bochurim is detrimental to the main purpose of giving on Purim – Matonos Loevyonim.

I know that many organizations raise a significant amount of their budget through this vehicle, but who says that it is the right approach?

I leave this question open to the floor of this forum, but ultimately it should be brought before Daas Torah.

As an aside. I have also noticed that in the various news outlets that serve our olam, at this time of the year there is a large number of ads for two diametrically opposed inyonim and the juxtaposition would give reason to pause and think. One group of ads begs Acheinu Bnei Yisroel to participate in the various calls for Matonos Loevyonim and Kimcha Depischa. Another group of ads is marketing Pesach vacations at the most exotic locations in the world.

Wouldn’t it be amazing if all the money spent on Pesach in these hotels would be matched dollar for dollar for these vital Tzedokohs??

Imagine the millions raised for Aniyai Eretz Yisroel and those suffering here at home as well!!

Just Food For Thought!



47 Responses

  1. I think the last point of a trade off of money spent on luxuries rather to be given to tzedakah is a great idea! Kol hakavod to all who are zoche to do this!

  2. A) It is being done with Daas Torah, the Rosh Yeshiva knows very well what’s going on and approves it!
    B) Yes, if everyone would give away a miilion dollars there would be no poverty, we’re supposed to give 10% as long as the “wealthy” are doing so, they can go or spend whatever they want.

  3. The way people spend their money is none of anyones business. Who do you think you are to decide how much tzedakah people should give and if they should or shouldn’t go on Pesach vacations?!? B”H there are gevirim giving thousands and millions of dollars in tzedakah. The world would not manage without them. If they want to go on vacation they are entiteled! They can spend their $$ however they want. For some odd reason people are so quick to point fingers at the wealthy. Why don’t each of us simpler people look into our own lives for a minute; are we living beyond our budgets? Maybe we can give tzedakah, maybe we can stop taking tzedakah. How about not sending the boys to collect in Limos and donate that $$ to the Yeshiva? How about not putting up such fancy yeshiva buildings and collecting for that when there are people starving in this world?!?! When each of us make our own Cheshbon Hanefesh and correct our way of life maybe then we can point fingers. Till then let’s stop looking into everyone elses pockets!

  4. Don’t you realize that the people who have loads of money to spend on exotic vacations are also the ones providing the majority of support to the organizations. Your letter is reminiscent of those who complain when tax breaks are issued to the rich, don’t you realize that 85% of the total tax revenue comes from the rich? Do you think its reasonable for someone to work work work and not enjoy any of it?
    If I had to guess I would say that you are not one of the ones being “bombarded on Purim with limo after limo of bochurim coming to collect”.

  5. Why are hotels the only bogey men? Let’s tax all of our luxuries!!
    1. Fee for all cars less than five years old
    2. Fee for premium cars, Lincolns, Beemers, Mercedes, Lexus, Acura, and of course SUVs
    3. Fee if a household uses more than one car.
    4. Fee for car leases.
    6. Fee based on the square footage of homes in excess of 300 s.f. per full time resident.
    7. Fee for home extensions and renovations.
    8. Fee for visiting little Chayale in seminary.
    9. Fee for sending more than one mishloach monos on Purim.
    10. Fee for the cost of shmurah matzo over matzos peshutos that are used after the seder.
    11. Fees for wine that costs over $3.50 per bottle.
    12. Fee for custom shaitels, or better yet, any shaitel.
    13. Fee foe bungalows and vacations.
    14. Fee for chasunahs that cost over $18 per person.
    15. Fee for the cost of an orchestra over one man band.
    16. Fee for $$ spent on bridal gowns costing over $1,000. Fees for the purchase of gowns for close friends and family.
    17. Fees for buying take out food.
    18. Fee for cell phones service above the minimum plan.
    19. Fee for high speed internet lines.
    20. Fee for lawn service.
    21. Fee for domestic help.

    We all choose our own way to spend on luxuries. Obviously, people with less disposable income should spend less on luxuries. First match for your own luxuries and then worry about everyone else. Wouldn’t that be amazing?

  6. I am sick and tired of these so called ” concerned” people telling us how to spend our money. Food for thought, mind your own business. Its not your business how people spend their money and how much should go instead to tzedaka. Its their hard earned money and who are you to determine what goes where. Watch your own pocket book not others. There is plenty given to anyim. Just take a look at what goes on in the shul of shomrei shabbos this time of year. How much is collected. Take a look at Tomchei shabbos. The list goes on and on.
    If you want to give all your money to tzedaka and leave none for your own pleasure , kol hakavod. But don’t impose your will on others, it aint the jewish way.

  7. I agree with #2, that the collecting (for the most part) is done with daas torah. Also keep in mind that many yeshivos (Like Philadelphia and Long Beach for example) send their bochurim to collect for aniyim, both for their alumni (TAT), and aniyim in EY (IPF is the first and most sucsessful).
    I wholeheartedly agree with the writers sentiments about Pesach hotels. Besides for the massive amounts of money spent on them, what type of chinuch is it for our children? My brother in law recently started to make his own sedorim, and being that his father a”h was niftar, and he spent his childhood in hotels, he was very confused about many minhagim he was supossed to

  8. Chesedname The Shulchan Aruch says in hilchos Tzidokoh that a rich man should give MORE THAN 10% as the needs are!!!

  9. The mosdos need money because most of their parent body doesn’t pay full s’char limud. This is why they need Bochurim collecting on Purim, as it’s assisting the mosdos to continue running. Also many of their Rebbeim are far from rich & the money raised will help cover their salaries.

  10. Given the current “tuition crisis” I’m always reading about, I have no problem giving Matanos Loevyonim to our Yeshivos. If you need help, take help. There should be no shame. I wonder, however, if the families who are not paying full tuition realize they are being mekabal this tzedakah.

  11. all of a sudden THIS mitzvah youre machmir on? “taking advantage of kull haposhet etc”? its in ruchnyus as well , if you ask of hashem he will give as well.
    you dont have to give if you dont want too.

    in todays day and age “bombarded”? you dont know what bombarded means (unless you live in sderot).

    look at all the boys doing a mitvah and are not out drunk like the goyim.

  12. Dear rebmoish (#8) can you please tell me where it says that? The Shulchan Aruch i have says to donate 10% and if you “want” you can give more but not above 20%

  13. This is a ridiculous letter! As lkwdfellow wrote, by collecting $$$ some parents get scholarships, so this is matonos levyonim, just not directly. And if people want to go to hotels. go!!

  14. “their hard earned money and who are you to determine what goes where”
    It’s never YOUR money; hashem gave it to you to help you do his bidding here. Now you may take 80-90% of it and use it on yourself. But it still doesn’t make that money YOUR money.

  15. The letter writer is making a valid point as to the boys going collecting on Purim night. No they are not collecting for Matonas Le’evyonim. Nor in my humble opinion, other than in some esoteric fashion, is this related to Kol Haposhet Yad which refers to not questioning the one requesting funds as to his status as an Evyon. Thus the collecting is not part of Mitzvas Purim specifically or perhaps not at all. They are taking advantage, which is fine, of the good spirits of the donors, to give.
    However often enough this collection on Purim night, kills the day for many of these boys to accomplish the mitzvos hayom. In what condition are they in at Megilla? Will they touch another drink at the Seudah? Can they Daven in the manner we were tought would be taking advantage of the Kedushas Hayom? etc This is all apart from some of the very dangerous activities that we are aware of as they are not under any real supervision by parent or mentor. I find the enthusiasm of the boys to go a little disconcerting which sort of clues me in that the Yetzer Horah just might have a hand in this.

    I’m sure many of you will be offended by my stand here as since the Yeshivos are sending these boys out it must by definition means that Dass Torah approves of the activities a) I question if that’s true b) adjustment have been made over the years to how it’s being done. So perhaps it’s time for another adjustment.

  16. doom, when you refer to owning your home , do you say I live in hashems home? When someone asks you what car do you have do you answer , Hashem has a lexus?
    If I remember correctly one is obligated to make a Bracha on food before they eat because the food comes from Hashem. According to your thinking one should be obligated to make a brocha on money that he makes.

  17. Given the issues with drinking and the expense of hiring limos, I think having parents carpooling the boys would be a better solution. You kills two birds with one stone: the overhead and the (some of the) lack of supervision.

  18. With all the “geshmake” taivois of the outside world enticing our bochurim on a daily basis, could we please leave alone the one day when ALL Yeshiva Boschurim feel a true geshmak in yiddishkeit, and let the rosh yeshivos, menahalim and mashgichim decide where to temper the day’s celebrations.

  19. ..and who said “kol haposhet yad nosnim lo” does not include yeshivas? and what is wrong that those 2 ads are next to each other…maybe you want a picture of a mechitze between? so we have to make another “tekuna” that editors of newspapers magazines should make sure not to print these 2 kind of ads next to each other or maybe not even same page??..and l’gabay etzem zach avadeh if someone elevates himself to madrege not to run after luxuries even can afford it “hinei ma tov emah nuim” see mesilas yeshourim steps 1-10 to ruach hakodesh, also igros moshe yoreh deyah 71 column 4..but to assur.. what right do you have to assur these things if he can afford it? because one cant afford tuition etc.,etc. the other shouldnt go to hotel. and where in shulchen urech is such a din that one spends on luxury he can afford that he has to give equal amount to charity (were talking halacha not lifnim meshiras hadin{chasidos}). no, shulchun urech is not communisim. also ,how do you know those who go to hotels dont give plenty tzedakea? so stop crying like a baby who doesnt get lolipop when next baby gets..your complain has no basis in halacha (i think, so if any one out there knows different let us know..but bring reyah..)of course we’re talking if the hotel is oisgehalten with kashruth,no tarivous,television etc.,etc, but thats not the issue here that your complaining….also you say “the main purpose of purim is matunos l’evyoinim”.. well as far as we know the main purpose of pirim is l’farsimay the nes of pirim which is ..see megilas ester..matonos l’evyinim is only one prat..and again, we are talking here halacha not mussar..

  20. Actually, as so many parents are so poor they can’t afford the tuition – as mentioned above – this has a knock on effect on the mosdos. Theoretically therefore it IS matonos loevyonim.

  21. I personally believe that the whole business with boys going in Limos to collect is very distateful. They’re just doing it for fun and having an opportunity to be wild. I would be far more impressed if they visited hospitals.

  22. How dare you tell me how I should spend my money! As a matter of fact I plan on
    Flying my entire family on the Concorde, (with the maids of course, but they’ll be staying in the luggage department. I paid British airways to resurrect it, and had them install a new engine) We are going to be staying at the most luxurious hotel in Monte Carlo, I already flew in a advance team of mashgichim to Kasher the entire hotel, because after all, only the best kashrus will do for my family!
    In the meantime while we are enjoying our mitzvahs yom tov with all the hidurim, our mansion in boro park and Flatbush, will be refurbished. In truth, it’s defiantly could use some sprucing up, after all – we built it nearly 6 month ago! This time I am adamant that the pillars outside my palace – er, home, should be plated with 24 karat gold, what a fool I was! I almost reconsidered that idea, after hearing Rabbi Krohns tape! Ha! Rabbi, don’t tell me how to live my life! Obviously Hashem gave me millions for a reason, besides, shouldn’t we be showing the goyim how the Jewish people are an Am Kadosh and that we are royalty? As a matter of fact, when I drive my brand new luxury car I am doing a mitzvah! Yeah that’s right! (And who do you think you are, to tell me not to double park it!) So don’t you dare tell me not to flaunt my money, it’s my right, nay – my obligation! Because after all not only do I not eat Gibrochts, and Chas Vishlom, machine Machine matzah!) but my matzo’s are actually hand rolled by a mekubal while he says the whole Tehilim! Yes, that how a real yid celebrates Yitzias Mitzrayim…

  23. …this letter has a lot to think about, but what struck me most of all was the inconsistancy of collecting money for the yeshivah while driving around in a limo- even if the boys pay for it themselves.. the two just don’t go together. What if a meshulach pulled up to your door in a bentley? funny.

  24. Regarding expensive Pesach vacations: Once one gives maaser, they are not obligated. If one gives 20%, they are not supposed to give more. While we cannot tell others what to do with the money left over after fulfilling their chiyuvim, it does not mean that they should just do what they want without thinking it over. One should pause for a moment and reflect about whether an expensive vacation is so appropriate. Aside from the fact that so many of our brethren need help, we should also think about the current situation in E”Y. In times past, simple Jews would forgo small luxuries, such as sugar in their tea, when bad news was coming from E”Y; they did it so that they would have a small daily reminder of the suffering in E”Y. Maybe today, Jews in America can also forgo the proverbial sugar, to connect just a little bit more to the sufferings here in E”Y, especially in light of the recent tragedy. None of this is a chiyuv, of course, but it is certainly warranted, appropriate, and not to be dismissed.

  25. to #30..yes we should say t’illim,etc, etc.. but we dont think in eretz yisroel they stopped using sugar in the tea…

  26. 28 monte carlo, i know of nicer places like maybe egypt go back to the scene of the nes what could be better, kasher a whole hotel like in sharm el sheikh and on shvi’i shel pesach you can go out and split the yam suf with your double parked car

  27. >In the meantime while we are enjoying our mitzvahs yom tov with all the hidurim, our mansion in boro park and Flatbush, will be refurbished.

    Why settle for “refurbished” – buy one “brand new”!

  28. just want to point out that many of the menahalim actually prefer the limos because than they can be sure their wont be any drinking and driving. if all the kids get limos, its geshmack enough for them not to take their own cars. i personally feel that the whole limo thing is smart and it keeps the kids in check to an extent.

  29. Have you ever heard of the inyun that on purim, when someone holds out a hand you must give??? It makes no diffrence to who and why as long as its for tzeddaka. i think you should stop finding problems with mitzvos and maybe see what you can do about stopping bochrim from making such chilul hashems by drinking and cting the way they do. after all, there is no mitzva to disgrace the torah and act in such a way.

  30. Having Bochrim go door to door to collect money is a terrible practice that should be stopped. First, it is bad chinuch to habituate our children to asking for handouts. (Other techniques of fundraising are at least a step or two removed from simply “begging”). Second, the collections on Purim are are often done in a wild and disrespectful way, as a number of readers have pointed out. I hope that if the Roshei Yeshiva knew how a lot of these collections are being done, they would put a stop to this practice.

  31. shain – I respectfully disagree. Teaching Bochurim to collect for their own Yeshivos is great! It gives them a sense of responsibility towards the place where they are “nehene” from. It’s a lesson that they’ll take with them in life – to assist the Mosdos that helped them grow.

    I am not condoning wild & crazy activities – which are incorrect. But, if the collecting is done properly – it’s a wonderful lesson to the Bochurim!

  32. From Ahavas Chesed by the Chafetz Chaim, Epilogue, page 230-231: “In former times, people lived on very low standards. They only spent money for basic necessities. In time of emergency, it was sufficient to fulfill one’s charity obligations with the modest sum of money one held ready for tzedakah and chesed. Circumstances have changed. People spend much of their money on luxuries and pleasures, on expensive clothes and homes, on domestic help and the like. The measure of man’s charity and chesed, which involves his very life and soul, his deliverance in this world and the next, should not be less than for one of these luxuries. …As is known, charity and chesed overcome the attribute of strict justice. …Chazal have commented, ‘Whosoever has mercy on human beings will be granted mercy from Heaven.’ In these times we see with our own eyes how the attribute of strict justice grows stronger in the world from day to day. All kinds of maladies and unnatural deaths abound. There is a lack of Divine influence in the world, so that each day is more cursed than the day before. How much must we increase the prevalence of tzedaka and chesed. Perhaps in this way, we shall succeed in averting the severity of the judgement and the world will become filled with mercy.”

  33. Chovos halevovos shaar habitachon is a very nice way to know how to spend your money. why would you think that a person would suddenly give his money else where if someone imposed a change in collecting patterns (assuming people make rational decisions as

  34. Regarding the question posed about Yeshiva’s collecting on Purim, I’m no baki in anything, but I’m pretty sure that, as the writer noted, it is not an attempt to collect matanos la’evyonim, rather they are taking advantage of the mitzvah of kol haposhet yad. Kal haposhet yad is not only connected to charity for poor people. It is one of the mitzvos that is associated with the simcha of the day. A yid celebrates his recognition of the endless chasdei Hashem and the nissim of Purim and the downfall of Amalek by readily distributing the money Hashem has graced him with to anyone who shows a need for it. We are celebrating our awareness of how the world really works. That certainly and especially includes the needs of yeshivos and modos of harbatzas torah that are keeping the world running every moment.
    A proof to what I’m saying can be seen clearly this year in E”Y, where we are zocheh to have a Purim Meshulash here in Yerushalayim (three-day Purim when 15th falls out on shabbos). The mitzvos of Purim are divided amongst the three days and (acc. to the commonly accepted opinions) Sunday is the day when we do the mitzvos that are associated with mishteh v’simcha, like the seuda and mishloah manos. Matanos L’evyonim is given on the previous Friday. The yeshiva bochrim do not come around collected on Friday because they aren’t collecting for evyonim, they come on Sunday because it is a mitzvah of kol haposhet yad, which is a mitzvah of Yiddishe simcha.
    Just like in all other mitzvos, we should all be zocheh to rid ourselves of the confusing machshavos of Amalek so that we can give with a gishmak.

  35. Having Bochrim go door to door to collect money is a wonderful practice that should be encouraged. First,it is good chinuch to habituate our children to asking for handouts. After all, if they have few employable skills, and little secular education, how will they “earn” a living. Second, being driven in limos habituates them to first class luxuries which they can ill afford. Thirdly, isn’t it important for Bocrim to fit in with the modern lifestyle and what’s more modern than a limo with a bar? One night a year they can act like celebrities, what’s the harm?

  36. To #1: Kul Haposhet Nosein, does not dictate how much you must give. You feel it is more apprpriate to give to aniye hair, then give to the mosdos that collect for that purpose. those who come to your door, whether it be via limo, helicopter or horseback, give them a dollar, if that is all you have, or feel the organization deserves.

    Nobody tells you how to give your tzedaka, please dont dictate to people how to collect the funds they need.

    Lihavdil elef havdalos, on halloween night, those who dont want kids ringing their bell asking for candy, hang a sign on the door that says please do not trick or treat here. If you do not want bachurim ringing your door bell, leave a note on the door to that effect.

  37. Yitzy99 — yes, maybe you are right….

    lkwdfellow — I agree that hakaras hatov is very important, but I don’t think asking for handouts is the best way to do it. Having the bochrim involved in other methods of fundraising that don’t have the feel of schnorring would be better practice in my opinion.

  38. Re #52.

    As a general rule, the policy in my home is that we do not pledge any amount of money, to any organization – no matter how worthy – over the phone. There is a single exception. a Bais Yackov in a midwestern city has their own students call and ask for donations on behalf of the school. the girls are sincere, pleasant and do not pressure anyone to pledge any amount more than they want to. Moreover, they do it because they WANT TO out of an achrayos for their school. The girls volunteer for this, they are not volunteered, pressured or required to make these calls (we asked the school). Perhaps this is an approach more yeshivos should try?

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