I woke up to a message: Everything Hashem does is for the best. Just moments later, I received the heartbreaking news: my dear friend Yankelle (???? ???? ?????) Friedman had tragically passed away while doing what he loved, flying. The words of that message echoed in my mind as I struggled to comprehend the loss of someone so young and so remarkable. Despite the grief, I feel its essential to share a glimpse of the remarkable person Yankelle was and inspire others to continue his legacy.
A Legacy of a Lev Tov
At the levaya in Eretz Yisrael, Yankelles brother-in-law, R Chaim Horowitz, quoted the Mishnah in Pirkei Avos (2:9): Rabban Yochanan ben Zakkai said to his students: Go and figure out which is the proper path to which a man should cling. Each student responded differently, a good eye, a good friend, a good neighbor, someone who considers the outcome of his actions. Then Rabbi Elazar ben Arach said: a lev tov (a good heart). Rabban Yochanan ben Zakkai replied: I see the merit of Elazar ben Arachs words over your words, for included within his words are all of your words.
R’ Chaim explained that Yankel’le embodied the concept of a lev tov (a good heart). As Rabban Yochanan ben Zakkai pointed out, within a lev tov encompasses all other virtues: a lev tov includes having an ein tov (a good eye), being a good friend, a good neighbor, and considering the consequences of ones actions. This means that someone with a lev tov excels not in just one character trait, but in all of them, allowing them to fulfill their mission in life more fully and swiftly. Yankel’le was always there for others, offering a listening ear to anyone in need. This was all the more remarkable given that he endured over 12 years of unimaginable yesurim (suffering) that no Jew should ever have to bear. R’ Chaim suggested that Hashem, in His infinite wisdom, took Yankel’le back at the age of 32 – the numerical value of lev – because his good heart had already completed its mission in this world.
A Heartfelt Impact
Every speaker at the levaya shared unique reflections on Yankelles kindness and empathy. Despite his own immense suffering, Yankelle was always there for others. He never judged anyone and would remind us: You dont know what someone else is going through. You just need to be there for them.
After the levaya, instead of heading home, people gathered, playing voice notes from Yankelle. These recordings revealed how he truly shared in others struggles, even over seemingly small issues (like frustrations with apartment construction). While carrying his own heavy burdens, Yankelle would listen as if he had no struggles of his own. These moments painted a vivid picture of Yankelles profound impact, which was further illuminated through personal stories shared at the levaya & shiva.
A Listening Ear and a Gentle Soul
Yankelles sensitivity extended to all areas of his life. As a bachur learning in Switzerland, he was not only a dedicated masmid but also someone who quietly cared for others. He would frequently ask his peers: Can I make you a tea?, a small gesture that spoke volumes about his thoughtfulness.
One encounter, shared by a widow from Yerushalayim, beautifully illustrates Yankelles genuine care for others. While visiting Monsey, she was taken out for dinner at Fireside, the restaurant where Yankelle worked, by his great-grandmother. Throughout the evening, Yankelle went out of his way to ensure both the widow and his great-grandmother were well taken care of. When the widow later heard the tragic news, she spent minutes describing Yankelles warmth and thoughtfulness, remembering him from that one encounter. As his brother Shua noted, online reviews of the restaurant often mentioned Yankelle by name, highlighting how his service left a lasting impression.
At the levaya, Shua shared an emotional observation: We always took from Yankelle. We used him as a listening ear, but we never gave to him. He urged everyone present to give back by becoming a listening ear for another Jew. This simple yet profound request encapsulates Yankelles legacy.
Learning from Yankelles Lev Tov
Rabbi Efraim Wachsman referred to Yankelle as an uplifted soul, a phrase that perfectly encapsulates his ability to transcend his own pain to uplift others through kindness and empathy. Indeed, his life teaches us that even someone carrying deep pain can radiate a smile, lend a listening ear, and live with a lev tov. His example challenges us to emulate his path: to cultivate a good heart, to listen without judgment, and to strive for authenticity.
While most reflections focus on Yankelles later years, I feel privileged to have known him from a young age. One memory stands out from his teenage years: During the winter, when his fathers shul had seudah shlishit after Mincha, Yankelle would stay behind in the main shul. Sitting alone in the front row, shielded from view by the bimah, he would immerse himself in learning, reflecting his love for Torah.
Carrying His Legacy Forward
Yankelles life was a testament to the Mishnahs teaching: The proper path to which a man should cling is a lev tov. If someone who endured so much pain could uplift others with his kindness, surely we can strive to do the same. Let us honor his memory by striving to embody his lev tov, to listen without judgment, to uplift others with kindness, and to live with a heart as pure and giving as Yankelles.
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