As a mother who has watched her children pack up for summer camp year after year, I am writing to ask camp directors to take a hard look at a ubiquitous tradition through the lens of genuine chinuch: the “Best in Bunk” or “Camper of the Month” award.
Choosing just one “winner” per bunk conflicts with a foundational truth of our generation: we must do our utmost to show every child that they are uniquely special, rather than telling one kid he is better than the rest.
To understand how damaging this is, look at our own homes. Imagine the immediate outcry if I stood up at my Shabbat table and handed a trophy to my favorite child, crowning them “Best in the Family.” We would instantly recognize that as a parenting disaster that breeds toxic rivalry and crushes the other children. Yet, as parents, we pay thousands of dollars to allow 17- and 18-year-old counselors to do the exact same thing to a bunk of sixteen children.
Without the training of a seasoned educator, a teenage counselor naturally treats “Best in Bunk” as a popularity contest, picking the most charismatic or athletic kid. This sends a crushing message to the rest of the bunk—including the kids who are fighting their own nature just to behave—that their personal avodah (struggle) and unique character are invisible. In today’s world, our children face unprecedented emotional pressures; they do not need to come home feeling like they didn’t measure up to the counselor’s favorite.
I know change is possible because I once had a counselor who did it right. Instead of picking one favorite, this counselor gave each kid a specific, personalized award highlighting their own unique achievement and growth during the month. The impact was incredible. Every boy felt seen, valued, and inspired to keep growing.
Instead of teaching staff how to crown a single winner, camps must train counselors to show each kid exactly how they are special. A great counselor unlocks the spark in every seat—whether it’s the child battling anxiety who finally participates, or the quiet kid performing acts of chesed when nobody is watching.
Our camps do an incredible job of creating a vibrant atmosphere of Torah and ruach. To elevate it further, we must shift from comparative, subjective awards to individualized recognition. I implore camp directors to end this award.
Thank you for your time and dedication to our community.
Warm regards,
A Frustrated Mother
The views expressed in this letter are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of YWN. Have an opinion you would like to share? Send it to us for review.
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10 Responses
It’s been well established that participation awards do not help child development. Competition to be the best does. Learning that there are winners and losers in the safe environment of a loving camp is a positive experience not a negative one.
Somebody’s kid didn’t get ‘best in bunk’ and now we need to abolish the award.
foundational truth of our generation: we must do our utmost to show every child that they are uniquely special
That is not a foundational truth of any (Orthodox) Judaism that I know of. In Judaism, your value depends on your behavior. THe more righteous you behave, the better you get treated.
The only grain of truth from this letter should be that councilors should pick best in bunk from objective Torah values, instead of popularity, like who did most mitzvos etc.
Lady, with all due respect, you’re teaching your child absolutely no resilience for his/her adult life. Sometimes you win, sometimes you don’t. Not everything is fair in our eyes, only in Hashem’s “eyes”. Your attitude is a goyish, snowflake one that has become the norm in the world at large. Safe spaces anyone?? Terrible way to be mechanech our children. Yes, it hurts when we don’t win, but we pick ourselves up and get over it. Maybe next time, and if not, we move on. Stop trying to protect your child from imagined hurts that should be part of normal life. It will just come back to bite you at some point.
Not negating what your saying because it stems from empathy but, You would be crowning someone at the shabbas table _if_ there was some type of competition for excellence and they won lol
That actually drives people to work harder to earn that award.
If it was for nothing then yes Itd be wrong. But trophies are generally winning for something specific lol
When I was back in Camp everyone knew best in bunk meant that that Camper’s name came out of the Hat and meant absolutely nothing. Relax nobody got offended
When I was in camp many years ago, I was the odd one out from the bunk. Most of my bunk mates were friends from before. They bullied me the entire summer. Just imagine how I felt at the end of the summer when the leader of the group got best in bunk.
“Uniquely Special” does not equal “Always a Winner”
Kids need to learn to live in the real world.
Are you against playing baseball due to there being a loser and that might mess your kid up for life?
With all due respect (and I’m not addressing how much respect that is), that is exactly why this award it’s so important!
I spent most of my teens as a daycamp counselor, the kid who feels like a failure all year at school, and shines in camp, needs that award to take them through the year.
Yo, SLEEPAWAY CAMP NEEDS TO BE ABOLISHED 100% FOR CHILDREN UNDER 14!!
Only high schoolers should be allowed to go to sleepaway camp. Period.
I agree with this article 100% but the issue is much worse.
Complete abolishment is the ONLY answer here.
ANY PARENT WHO SENDS THEIR UNDERAGE KIDS TO SLEEPAWAY CAMP, IS A CHILD ABUSER OF THE HIGHEST ORDER!!