To be the first poster in a page
You dont need to be a true sage
At your keyboard keep pecking
And then keep on checking
Yossi z. please dont get in a rage!
This lim at the top was not planned
There really was nothing underhand
Just keep posting your work
And here constantly lurk
You can be the best poet in the land
I said I wouldn't rage
Look! Look! We have a new page!
Now let's get posting
Soon we'll be coasting
Limericks lower your age
By this I mean to say
That each and every day
You will feel younger
Even with blunder
So come on out and say ...
... Limericks are so fun
Especially with a pun
Yes I'm back
Regained the knack
Again I don't want to run
:D Zuberman! :D
Page seven says it is five,
the numbers simply don't jive.
My imagination?
They changed pagination?
My brain's working in overdrive.
Thinking without stop
Even for a hip or hop
Could it be
It was me
Asking to be on top?
All I wanted to know
Was when each page does go
On top of the screen
I did not mean
For that way to show
:D Zuberman! :D
We've entered the month of Adar
Which usually means Purim's not far
But we're in a leap year
So there's longer, I cheer
I need more time, organised thing that you are
For some, Purim runs in their veins
due to whiskeys liquors and champagnes
Who's costume's most shticky
Its hard to be picky
Cos they all needed planning and brains
Its easy to just go and hire
But home made costumes I admire
You can them re-use
If self made ones you choose
Some are great and can really inspire
The hardest part is the shlach monos
Finding real fancy stuff to send across
Cant come up with a scheme
For an original theme
To send out to my family and boss
Is this stuff that's already been done
Cos I want to get things that will stun
I must be ahead
Else I'll be filled with dread
Will you help me? You will - thanx a ton!
Now who can I leave off my list
Of a hundred names it does consist
Plus a few in addition
Its a crazy position
A whole taxi firm I'll need to enlist
I wont drive cos then I cant drink
Keep them separate and never do link
Putting everyone in danger
Whether family or a stranger
To do so I cant even think
From the corny Shticky Guy;
Lieutenant-Kernel
This year I am changing the plans
Of getting costumes in advance
They have it so many days
By the time it's Adar bais
They are simply no longer entranced
We are all soon about to lose,
A poster with very kind views,
Her name is Eclipse,
She has really good quips,
Where she's going - we're not in the news.
Since September 2010,
She's posted again and again,
She has been most dutiful,
By starting real beautiful,
Topics here but now till when?
She has to return her computer,
And even asked how to reboot 'er,
Without her laptop,
The CR could flop,
It will certainly be a lot muter.
With threads like 'be a trend setter'
'que sera sera' and 'coffee oscar'
'Please get out of here'
'Do you wish you could disappear'
Not to mention 'the pull of the cr'
'Why did the chicken cross the road',
Was her at her best, truth be told,
'A humble suggestion',
one called 'A deep question',
They're truly worth their weight in gold.
Who will step in to replace her,
Will we be able to face her,
If her I do meet,
walking down our street,
I will have to try hard to outpace her.
If I go with my young niece Ditza,
To go get a delicious pizza,
And Eclipse we do meet,
I will turn round my seat,
And use my niece as a mechitza.
We wish her just good in her life,
Without any trouble or strife,
If you go ahead with this,
Your new threads we will miss,
But you'll for sure be a #1 wife.
Shticky- your farewell was well said
Eclipse kept the CR well fed
Well be missing you a lot
But a real life is what you got
My eyes are all teary and red.
Shticky, what a great job,
so good, my head now does throb.
Poignant and moving,
I am approving,
and you used no corn on the cob.
We'll very much miss you, eclipse,
your leaving's an apocalypse.
Often quite funny,
with a nature that's sunny,
we'll miss your wisdom and quips.
Occasionally, please do drop by,
agree, please, or we will all cry.
We CR'ers grieve
that you need to leave,
although you have good reason why.
I guess this is your swan song,
be moichel, if we've done you wrong.
We wish you hatzlocha,
with nachas and brocha,
so goodbye, farewell and so long.
WOW!!
I must say,or virtual-speak
These limericks MADE MY WEEK!
Shticky Guy, Daas Y.,
And Smartcookie,goodbye!
With kindness,my world's not bleak!
The end of an era's arrived,
the coffee room will be deprived.
eclipse will be missing,
we'll be reminiscing,
about all the threads she contrived.
The time is now opportune,
because she is leaving so soon,
to bid her adieu,
we're crying, boo hoo,
the clock is about to strike noon!
Your absence will cut like a knife,
we wish you all good things in life.
May harmony and peace,
for you, just increase,
with only success, and no strife.
Now off you go to the “abyss”,
your wit and your wisdom we'll miss.
How can we go on;
your laptop is gone!
We all hope that you'll find real bliss.
We hope that we won't be maligned,
if we ask one thing, please be kind.
Don't be a quitter,
won't you reconsider?
We'd be happy if you'll change your mind.
It seems like the coffee room can’t come to grips
With the imminent departure of our dear friend eclipse
So let me say it with brevity
Won’t you increase your CR longevity?
or quickly make your disappearance round trip?
The farewells to you are to your tribute
To our enjoyment over here you did contribute
Mazel and Brocha
Loads of Hatzlocha
We send you off with a Coffee Room Salute!
Oh my, oy vey, oh dear!
What do we have here?
Eclipse is leaving?
We'll all be grieving!
This I cannot bear!
:( Zuberman! :(
Impressed am I with all this rhyme
So we'll ask you Eclipse, one more time.
We'd like to convey
That we want you to stay,
To leave now, would be such a crime!
That's it, Eclipse is gone
Finished with all that fun
I don't think she's reading
All of your greetings
With her computer she's done.
Nu? nu? nu? nu? nu? nu? nu?
Come on, whats the matter with you?
Seems 'Lims' you cant face 'em?
Do techiyas hameisim!
And start it again from anew.
Let it rise up from the dead
This wonderful limerick thread
So release the trigger
And post in with vigor
Lets all resume using our head!
I thought that when eclipse left,
and all of us were so bereft,
it would be the end,
of limericks penned,
and no more identity theft.
Her spirit, it seems though, did awaken,
the coffee room was not forsaken.
There now is a sequel,
eclipse with Equal,
unless for a ride we were taken.
To all of you who sounded shaken,
This thread it has NOT been forsaken,
It was just a rumor,
Without any humor,
Abandoned? You're really mistaken.
Limericks are just too exciting,
Addictive and very inviting,
The threads in the coffee,
Can go like Gadaffi,
But limerickers carry on writing.
This is for sure a collection,
That we do all read with affection,
When we need a lift,
We click here real swift,
And our mood really changes direction.
Limericks can really excite,
And bring us no end of delight,
I feel so serene,
Lets make this our routine,
Its the cream of the YWN site!
Didn't have time to make any, now i think im long over due for one
On Purim the Jewish nation,
Commemorate their salvation,
Though Haman plotted,
His noose was knotted,
This does cause for celebration!
Stinking worse than a skunk,
Haman's plot was sunk.
At a party so grand;
a special command:
chayav inish to get drunk!
Hi!
The reason to my closet
I brought a chair
To get down the netbook
Packed away deep in there
Was because I had no choice....
Ads and flyers
Tickets and more
Could only be managed
With e-mail;it's not 1984
I did not log in
Until my friend's chat-
She told me I'm thought
To be this one and that
So I wrote "What on earth??"
But it wasn't effective
So all I can say is
Your judgment's defective!
Perhaps you'll stop by
To see a short show
Good Shabbos my friends
I'd better go
We all jump up and we all cheer,
Cos its now that special time of year,
Our hands get all clappy,
Our fingers get snappy,
Cos Purim's about to reappear.
If there was still a limerick thread,
I would use it for fun lines to spread,
But it cant be denied,
That this thread it has died!, :-( ;-(
If you wish to disagree - go right ahead!
Shticky let's never give up hope
Because the limericks really help me cope
Gives me the smile for the day
So let's make this thread stay
definitely better than discussing dating sephardim not in your scope!
Remember when the limerick thread thrived?
We thought, though, it had not survived.
But sc and Shticky
have made this thread "sticky",
it's so nice to see it revived!
The Sephardim topic's now closed,
and this one, so underexposed,
to our great dread,
seemed to be dead,
but actually only had dozed.
try saying this super fast:
a flea and a fly and a flue
were caught so what could they do?
said the fly, "let us flee."
"let us fly" said the flee
so they flew through a flaw in the flue
8okay i'll admit it i didn't make it up but its fun to say ;D
Today I did a lot of Pesach cleaning
Don't take in Chometz I've been screaming
Now I'm finally relaxed
After working to the max
And I can write a limerick with meaning.
Of this thread brotherofurs did remind us
I thought it was truly behind us
Limerickers all welcome you
But if you are really new
Then I ask how on earth did you find us???
It is just a little bit wierd
How you came across this thread 5-tiered
Which had sunk thru the floor
Have you been here before
In this thread where you suddenely appeared
You don't need יורה יורה ידין ידין,
to know how he appeared so sudden.
You're a hard worker,
but he's just a lurker
Or is there a dual identity? יש לדון!
I notice all the limerickers decided to come here- I guess ill have to add something too:)
As Pesach does approach,
This subject I must broach,
There is lots to be done,
It can even be fun,
Well, not if you come across a roach.
No one is left off the hook,
Down to the last Sefer and book,
Scrubbing and scouring,
While your sweat is pouring,
Cleaning every cranny and nook.
Blinky, you hardly post anymore
Well all miss you for sure
Perhaps this will make your heart soften
And you'll come more often
And you'll stop being such a bore!
OUCH! Just reading thru my second limerick scouring does NOT rhyme with pouring so here is a quick fix (im sure someone will come up with a limerick about this shameful error!)
No one is left off the hook,
Down to the last Sefer and book,
Scrubbing and dusting,
And lots of readjusting,
Cleaning every cranny and nook.
",
Scrubbing and scouring,
While your sweat is pouring,
. "
My take on this - Excuse me for taking poetic license to change what you wrote:
Cleaning every cranny and nook,
Down to the last Sefer and book
Scrubbing and scouring
And not "Happy Hour"-ing
No one is let off the hook.
Daas Yochid:
double identity IS what I did mean
his/her screenname here I had never seen
so how would he/she know
of the best topic of the show
when it's as submerged as a submarine
this thread had been gone for a week
of limericks there wasnt a squeak
if (s)he was really new
(s)he wouldnt have had a clue
about a thread that was truly antique
It's so nice to see that this thread
Has been revived and is not dead
Here's to more rhyming
All in good timing
Let the lim'ing continue and spread
Hey, I haven't tried this one
I thought with poems I'm done
But I sure am glad
That so kind a lad
kept it from going gone!
Although I love to write
I felt my poems were trite
Some courage I did muster
Maybe they still have some luster
Perhaps I do belong on this site!
my home should smell fresh and clean
after all there is sparkle and sheen
but I moan and fret
for the aroma is sweat
and to spray her upon entry is mean
the lady did quite a good job
she doesn't clean like a slob
I wish I could tell her
that I can still smell her
but even a non-jew might sob
Eclipse, give her more latitude,
you don't have a great attitude.
That you have a good shiksa,
(although you can't fix her,)
requires some more gratitude!
I thought for sure by now someone would write regarding my mistake! Oh well heres mine...
As I gaze at the limerick i wrote,
A horrified cry escapes my throat,
As pour and scour,
Together sounds sour,
So a quick fix to readjust it i rewrote!
oomis- nice! poetic license? Where can i apply for one?
To the other frequenters here- nice ones!
Blinkeleh, you can apply directly to ME for the poetic License (hereby granted).
Their once lived a boy named meggy
Who had a broken leggy
he walked to the door
and slipped on the floor and
again broke his poor old leggy :)
LOLOL!!
Did yo hear the news?
Dr. Pepper found his screws,
He's back it's true?
Ha ha ha got you!
Have a Happy April Fools!
Dr. Pepper you sneak,
Your posts i always seek,
You left us- why?
Without saying good bye,
Hope to see you every week!
cool i didn't know it was antique
just found it and decided to speak
of a limerick i found
that was lying around
and i thought it was very unique (and funny):)
Loved reading through this thread
You all had points so well said
With your charm & your wit
You made me smile quite a bit
With vigor I'll now search for more bread...
Happy Pesach cleaning, y'all!
Gut voch to all, did I see right?
I don't believe Pepper's back in sight
Someone is just trying to Cheppper
And duplicated the screenname Pepper
Your authenticity is not quite.
I checked Pepper's profile and it seems all right
The --> SAME <-- doctor posted as before
No imposter was found at the door
Heres one a friend once wrote me:
She just loves to get mail,
Most times happiness you do feel.
You should calm down,
Smile and not frown,
And to your worries say big deal!
I also wrote one about EY a nice long one.
There is a subtitle on Pepper as well that prooves authentic ity
"WE'VE ARRIVED! IT'S FANTASTIC!", I thundered,
And just in case you wondered,
Please give a great cheer,
Cos we are now here,
Yes it's LIMERICK NUMBER FIVE HUNDRED!!!!!
My Dear Shticky Guy,
I don't know why,
Considering you really do try,
That you'd assume you got the jackpot,
When all you hit was a crackpot.
If you were after #500,
You'll have to try again,
On a 'nother thread I would presume,
Cause on this thread I did get,
The fifth hundred post you wished to boast.
Being humble as I am,
I wish you luck as best as I can,
To reach this 500th milestone I've just achieved,
On a new thread where you can have a run.
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