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Limericks!

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  1. minyan gal
    limericist extrordinaire

    "Tefillah is so very holy,
    So make sure to say each word slowly,
    Say every letter right,
    Even when time's tight,
    And please help me out with this last line here..... "

    smart cookie - the best I can do for a last line is:

    And at kiddush you'll eat roly-poly.

    I know it is a little lightweight for the depth of the subject but I cannot think of anything else to rhyme with holy/slowly.

    I sincerely apologize for my mis-spelling of YisGadol. I think many of the pronounciation issues arise from the breakneck speed at which many services are davened - particularly Ma'ariv as everyone is in such a hurry to get home.

    Posted 4 years ago #

  2. smartcookie
    Member

    Minyan- I thought of that line myself but didn't think it's good enough! Sorry!

    Anyway, don't apologize to me! I'm just making people aware of it so we should all say the words right from now on!

    Posted 4 years ago #

  3. Bracha the great
    Member

    These limericks are so very funny
    I would not trade them for any amount of money
    But I feel quite alone here
    There's no one in school here

    would someone help me please?

    Posted 4 years ago #

  4. Bracha the great
    Member

    PS I'm in 8th grade

    Posted 4 years ago #

  5. oomis
    Best Bubby EVER

    Bracha, your poem's in need
    Of some work to be done with great speed.
    Some lines were not rhyming
    And off was your timing,
    But your efforts were well-meant indeed! :)

    Posted 4 years ago #

  6. I can only try
    "We all try. You succeed." George HaChasid - Slayer of Trolls.

    smartcookie-

    Last line suggestions:
    "betzibur or davening solely"
    alternate 1 - "in minyan" instead of "betzibur"
    alternate 2 - "when you pray" instead of "davening"
    (hope you don't mind a suggestion - I'd change "every" to "each" on line 3, for balance.)

    Bracha the great-

    You're doing great.
    Here are a few words you can try to end your last line with:
    honey
    runny
    sunny
    bunny

    Posted 4 years ago #

  7. smartcookie
    Member

    Oh Bracha dear,
    You really don't belong here,
    Such a young yiddish girly
    For the internet you're too early
    Rather learn, study, and take care.

    Posted 4 years ago #

  8. minyan gal
    limericist extrordinaire

    Oy vey its snowing AGAIN
    For the first time I pray for rain
    Inside I'll stay snug
    Like that bug in a rug
    Until spring indoors I'll remain.

    Posted 4 years ago #

  9. smartcookie
    Member

    ICOT- thanks!

    Posted 4 years ago #

  10. smartcookie
    Member

    Sunday is a very long day
    The kids are so bored and don't want to play,
    All they do is fight
    Oh what a sight
    Is this the norm? Are we ok?

    Posted 4 years ago #

  11. Bracha the great
    Member

    listen, my entire world has internet, had I not been introduced to it, yes, I probably would have been better off.
    BUT
    I've never gone on Facebook
    I get my tehillim names online
    I'm HERE

    and yes, most of the ppl I know have facebook, twitter, and everything else accounts which I don't have

    Posted 4 years ago #

  12. Bracha the great
    Member

    My brothers fight night and day
    every day from June to May
    I think you're alright
    if each other they don't bite
    if they do, what can I say?

    I! made! this! up! myself!
    PS i have 8 brothers

    Posted 4 years ago #

  13. blinky
    Blinquie

    Bracha the great- yo are in 8th grade, have 8 brothers, what else do you have thats 8 lol.

    ICOT- you seem to have a rhyming talent- would you like to contribute to this thread too?

    Smartcookie- yes its very normal

    minyan gal- its snowing in canada already? Lucky you

    Posted 4 years ago #

  14. minyan gal
    limericist extrordinaire

    Blinky - I live on the prairies and we usually have snow by the end of October. We got off very easy this year as we had a long and mild autumn and didn't get our first snowfall until this past Friday. But, it has been snowing off and on since and we have had several inches. The snow plows are busy, busy, busy.

    Posted 4 years ago #

  15. minyan gal
    limericist extrordinaire

    I forgot to mention - please check the "Composed Songs" thread. The other day this ridiculous parody of Yankee Doodle popped into my head and I have made a lot of crazy verses for it. I keep adding them and I invite you to do the same - we can aim for composing the longest song, ever. It is very easy - simpler than limericks for sure.

    Posted 4 years ago #

  16. I can only try
    "We all try. You succeed." George HaChasid - Slayer of Trolls.

    blinky, I must thank you, though
    I haven't any rhymes to show
    it puts a strain
    on my poor brain
    and the fuses start to blow

    Posted 4 years ago #

  17. blinky
    Blinquie

    ICOT claims his brains too slow,
    And in rhyming he has no go,
    But to my delight,
    he did it quite right,
    So I now welcome you to the flow!!

    Minyan- see my comment on the composed song thread:)

    Posted 4 years ago #

  18. blinky
    Blinquie

    Winter is coming this year,
    You can feel the chill in the air,
    Snowmen and snowflakes,
    Shovels instead of rakes,
    Boots, hats, and gloves for the wear.

    Posted 4 years ago #

  19. minyan gal
    limericist extrordinaire

    I haven't been here very much
    And feel I've been out of touch
    My back's been sore
    I'll say no more
    To bore you with my woes and such.

    I can't believe we've had so much snow
    At least its not forty below
    It will be quite soon
    Just about one more moon
    And on my vacation I'll go.

    An aliyah I think I will make
    But mine will kind of be fake
    Instead of Yisroel
    Which really would be swell
    Miami's the route I will take

    Posted 4 years ago #

  20. Shticky Guy
    THE SHTICKIEST POSTER IN THE ©®

    A pharmacist from Bangalore
    Unfortunately he is no more
    He got thirsty and so
    He drank some H20
    Which was really H2SO4

    Posted 4 years ago #

  21. minyan gal
    limericist extrordinaire

    Because this week's seemed very long
    I'll greet Shabbat with joyous song
    I'll welcome the coming night
    With the glow of candlelight
    And hope to be with friends among.

    A peaceful and joy filled Shabbat to all of you.

    Posted 4 years ago #

  22. blinky
    Blinquie

    shticky guy-welcome to this thread

    Minyan gal- amazing as always (by the way i put an addition in the composed song thread im curious what you think)

    And here is another one of my good shabbos limericks!

    The table is set the house is clean,
    The sky has a beautiful sheen,
    The sun is setting,
    While everone is getting
    Ready to greet the queen.

    Have a great shabbos!!!

    Posted 4 years ago #

  23. smartcookie
    Member

    Wow blinky that's nice! It's making me auto calm and relaxed!!!

    Posted 4 years ago #

  24. blinky
    Blinquie

    Lekovod Shabbos we all dress prim,
    No matter if you are a "her" or "him",
    Suit pants and white shirt,
    Or a nice top and skirt,
    In honor of Melech Malchei Hamlachim!

    Have a good shabbos and a freilichin chanukah!!

    Minyan- WHERE ARE YOU?????
    smartcookie- forgot to thank you last week, hope you like this one too!

    Posted 4 years ago #

  25. smartcookie
    Member

    Blinky I really do! It's cute! Now a Chanukah Limerick? Nobody?

    Posted 4 years ago #

  26. Dr. Dovvshtein
    Proudly representing the Left Coast

    Heres a song im working on, it has a tune but i cant exactly post that:

    Ur on a boat its on its way
    To paradise not far away
    To remain ther for eternity

    If u sit in the first class
    With pleasures no one can surpass
    Wen u arrive u will live simply

    But if u ride with nothing
    On the island u will be a king
    The choice is urs - where do u take ur seat?

    Chorus:
    This world is one big hallway Wer only passing thru
    Nothing that u have here Comes with you
    U do ur hishtadlus Hashem covers the rest
    The only goal we have here Is to stand thru every test

    Motor cruise ships left and rite
    Seem to carry thru the nite
    But wen they fail - they sink in sea

    If u don't give in to the urge
    Ur little boat will not submerge
    Just set ur sail - the wind comes naturally

    Posted 4 years ago #

  27. Dr. Dovvshtein
    Proudly representing the Left Coast

    This has similar ideas but its not the song:

    Just can't seem to figur things out
    Things aren't rollin the way they shud
    Minds all clouded I duno wat its about
    Heads on fire I wud smile if I cud

    Ain Od Milvado He's got it in control
    U just do his ratzon and then things roll
    Ur heating depression is His fleeting test
    Evry little thing that happens is the best
    UR best interest not anyone beside
    Give it some thot let ur heart decide
    It won't take long
    To realize ur wrong
    And all thots are long gone
    Except for one song...
    Ain od milvado hashem is one and true
    And His entire world was created just for you
    All the mountains and the trees
    And that perfect cool breeze
    Its all from the One
    All for You- his precious son

    Posted 4 years ago #

  28. Dr. Dovvshtein
    Proudly representing the Left Coast

    And this is a hakaras hatov song to my yeshiva/rebbi:

    Thru the years and all the times
    I just can't seem to speak my mind
    To express wats going on inside
    Wen I think about the place
    The fun and challenges we faced
    Iv found the treasure where my heart resides

    (Chorus)
    Dear rebbi u hav taught me evrything I kno
    From amelus batorah and developing midos
    Ratzon and bitachon and my job in this world
    Rebi ul be always in my heart and soul

    The back and forth evryday
    Sugyas challenged in every way
    Developing our true Yiras hashem
    Hashkafa mussar how to live
    To learn to grow and mostly to give
    Connecting with emotions once again

    Posted 4 years ago #

  29. Dr. Dovvshtein
    Proudly representing the Left Coast

    sorry im not exactly sure if this is the right thread for my songs... im not exactly sure what the rules of "limericks" are

    Posted 4 years ago #

  30. smartcookie
    Member

    Nice job, Dovv. If you would use spellcheck though, they would be much easier to read.

    Posted 4 years ago #

  31. oomis
    Best Bubby EVER

    Limericks are not songs, but you write well.
    The rule of a limerick is that the first two lines and the last line all rhyme with each other - the second two lines are shorter and rhyme with each other. The last line is usually a "punchline" of some sort, but not necessarily.

    L'lovod Chanukah

    We lit Ner revii tonight
    The flames are so shiny and bright.
    With great jubilation
    And much celebration
    I sure am enjoying this sight!

    Posted 4 years ago #

  32. Shticky Guy
    THE SHTICKIEST POSTER IN THE ©®

    A message to poster blinquie
    I thank you for welcoming me
    But havent you read
    My limerics earlier in this thread
    I had posted not just one but three!

    Posted 4 years ago #

  33. blinky
    Blinquie

    oomis1105- wow! I like that one! Good job- keep it up!

    A message to the guy thats shticky,
    Hope you are not so finicky,
    Dont take to heart,
    The error on my part,
    For missing your limerick-y! :)

    Posted 4 years ago #

  34. blinky
    Blinquie

    Smartcookie- this ones for you, you wanted a chanukah limerick (also if you look in the middle of page 3, there are some chanuka ones that were written in honor of rosh chodesh kislev)

    Shticky- Btw, the ones you posted before were not yours AHEM! :)

    Chanukah is such a blast,
    Its going by way too fast,
    Tonight is chamishi,
    Tomorrows is shishi,
    I want it to always last!

    Posted 4 years ago #

  35. frim
    Member

    No offence but this is getting kind of pathetic,
    Not that i'm trying to be a critic,
    Yet at once this must stop,
    Or i will pop,
    there crazy things you call a limerick!!!!!!!!!!

    (I'm actually NOT AT ALL against this i find it very amusing but that was the first limerick i wrote and i had no other topic in mind
    but i actually think it's pretty decent!!!)

    Posted 4 years ago #

  36. smartcookie
    Member

    Thanks blinky for the Chanukah lim
    I enjoyed reading it to the brim
    I'm out partying every night
    My tiredness is a sight
    Let us continue to see more nissim.

    Posted 4 years ago #

  37. blinky
    Blinquie

    frim- very good! Come here more often!

    smartcookie- your welcome and beautiful limerick too!(it took me a second to get what a "lim" is. LOL

    If i have time today ill try to come up with another chanuka one:)

    Posted 4 years ago #

  38. blinky
    Blinquie

    We celebrate this week
    How we were saved from Greek,
    Weak won the strong,
    And a jug lasted long,
    So Al Hanisim we do speak!

    Posted 4 years ago #

  39. frim
    Member

    Blinky - Thank you!!

    The end of Chanuka is near,
    It won't come again for another year,
    So pack in those parties,

    *omg i need help...

    Posted 4 years ago #

  40. smartcookie
    Member

    The end of Chanuka is near,
    It won't come again for another year,
    So pack in those parties,     to all of you smarties
    And you'll always have the memories to share!

    Ok, I know it could be better!

    Posted 4 years ago #

  41. Shticky Guy
    THE SHTICKIEST POSTER IN THE ©®

    I went shopping to get us a wick
    and didnt know which ones to pick
    cos from floor to the door
    he had varieties galore
    so i took multicolored for a shtick

    Then I looked to buy some olive oil
    And made sure also to get foil
    Cos otherwise my wife
    Would make difficult my life
    If my Shabbos room floor did spoil

    It is now Zois Chanuka
    I've had no mess from my menora
    But my young daughter Fraidel
    Still loves cheating by dreidel
    And always wants the biggest latka

    Now cos I am such a smartie
    And am also exceedingly arty
    I dont want to boast
    But I'm making the most
    Unparalleled Chanuka party!!! :-)

    Posted 4 years ago #

  42. blinky
    Blinquie

    WOW! I don't think google made it up, great job!

    I wanted to make a limerick today for zos chanuka but i was out of ideas, yours is great

    Posted 4 years ago #

  43. Shticky Guy
    THE SHTICKIEST POSTER IN THE ©®

    For limericks i have a feel
    So it really was not a big deal
    To make up this one
    I had lots of great fun
    And I'm proud of your approval seal

    Posted 4 years ago #

  44. Shticky Guy
    THE SHTICKIEST POSTER IN THE ©®

    This thread had my favorite rating,
    For new posts I was always waiting,
    But where are you all now,
    If you've given up, HOW?
    Or are you all just hibernating!!! :-(

    Posted 4 years ago #

  45. smartcookie
    Member

    You're so right Shticky Guy,
    This thread was dead, "sigh",
    So prepare your pen
    and use your talents again
    And keep this thread very high.

    Posted 4 years ago #

  46. eclipse
    The Human

    This site makes me feel like a fool
    Checking "last replies" can be a gruel
    Will it say from "1 minute"?
    Will my last post be in it?
    Re-checking is oh-sooo-UNcool!!

    Posted 4 years ago #

  47. vnishmartemmeod
    Member

    like coming back from the dead
    this fun limerick thread
    What a pleasant surprise
    met my inquisitive eyes
    I couldn't believe what I read

    Posted 4 years ago #

  48. vnishmartemmeod
    Member

    I have so little time as of late
    to post, comment or debate
    Though the CR at YWN
    Is great for rebootin'
    I guess it will just have to wait

    Posted 4 years ago #

  49. Shticky Guy
    THE SHTICKIEST POSTER IN THE ©®

    If new posts you always seek,
    Then you cant not post in for a week,
    So lets rack our brains,
    Before this thread wanes,
    Come on 'Limerickers', dont be so meek!

    Posted 4 years ago #

  50. Ken Zayn
    born Kenneth Solomon Zaynestzky

    Yes at this thread I often peep
    And enjoy the limericks quite deep
    But although I do delve
    I wont write in myself
    I'm scared I'll end up in a heap!

    Posted 4 years ago #

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