October 11, 2010 12:07 am at 12:07 am #592581
My daughter who recently started shidduchim tells me her friends informed her that a girl does not take a purse on a date? What is the reason for this? When I was going out I was told that a girl does not leave the house without a purse (what if she needs a tissue?) Any explanations?October 11, 2010 12:28 am at 12:28 am #704528
of course you take a purse! now, it should not be your regular every day purse, but perhaps a nice clutch or wristlet or something. you are right. what if the girl needs a tissue, or some money (for an emergency situation C”V, or if the boy accidentally did not bring enough….) or anything else she might need (contact solution, a phone [if she wants, just in case])?
hatzlacha to your daughter. may she find her bashert soon.October 11, 2010 1:16 am at 1:16 am #704529
Most do not bring a purse. If you are paranoid, stick 100 bucks in your shoe.October 11, 2010 1:34 am at 1:34 am #704530
absolutely bring a purse! wristlets (wallets that have a short strap) and small purses that are mostly inconspicuous, are sold in most stores and are not costly. take along some money and a phone that will be turned off for the date but is for emergencies.October 11, 2010 2:01 am at 2:01 am #704531
Nothing wrong with a purse. Some girls bring hand bags but that could be overdoing it.October 11, 2010 2:09 am at 2:09 am #704532
if its the winter its easy to stick $, phone and keys in ur coat. but dont answer ur phone or text on dates, its rude. just for emergencies only.October 11, 2010 2:09 am at 2:09 am #704533
Do you know WHY girls should not bring a purse??October 11, 2010 2:12 am at 2:12 am #704534
personally, i find purses ANNOYING. any excuse to get that heavy bag off my shoulder and i’ll take it. a small wristlet is really fine.
and popa, try sticking $100 in ur shoe when ur wearing tights…it might be a liiiittle obvious if its sticking out. most girls dont wear socks on dates that you could stuff a billfold down into ur shoe!October 11, 2010 2:13 am at 2:13 am #704535
If anything it’s a clutch or wristlet. But many don’t bring either.
You asked why. Pretty much because it’s highly likely that you won’t need it (most guys don’t forget money nor do they drop you off in middle of the road).October 11, 2010 2:22 am at 2:22 am #704536
What in the world is wrong with a purse?October 11, 2010 2:32 am at 2:32 am #704537
I once went out with a girl who had her hair in a very large bun. I didn’t think anything of it- until it started buzzing!
This story is as true as my Hungarian words.October 11, 2010 2:36 am at 2:36 am #704538
I agree with Popa. Why can’t the girl just trust the guy that he will take care ot it. If she doesn’t think he is trustworthy, she has much bigger problemsOctober 11, 2010 2:44 am at 2:44 am #704539
That’s ridiculous-I always bring a small wristlet with my drivers license, credit card, and usually some cash. You never know what can happen…and cell phone too but I leave it off.October 11, 2010 2:55 am at 2:55 am #704540
Popa — totally wrong.
ALWAYS bring a small purse, large enough to carry the cellphone (turned off, please), keys, small comb or brush,lipstick, tissues, and either a credit card or at least $20.
Never assume anything. I went out with someone 35 years ago who met me after work and sent me home by LIRR. I had no idea he had no car, and I certainly had no inkling I was paying for and taking a train home late at night. I needed money for a cab from the train station also, because I was not going to disturb my dad late at night to come get me. Fortunately, I had $50 on me, but what if I had not taken money along?
When I go out with my husband, I like to carry a small purse with a long enough strap so that I can put the strap over my head on one side, with the purse dangling at the opposite side. This frees my hands when necessary, and it is in no way intrusive. It is not a bad idea to always carry ID, and even a health insurance card.October 11, 2010 2:57 am at 2:57 am #704541
Never assume anything.
Exactly. Which is why I always strongly recommend she bring mace. I mean, she never met the guy before. Who knows??October 11, 2010 3:00 am at 3:00 am #704542
Yes, a friend of mine was on a date and the girl tripped. He reflexively put out his arm to catch her. So the lunatic girl maced him.October 11, 2010 3:22 am at 3:22 am #704543
Guys take it that she doesnt trust him. period.October 11, 2010 3:23 am at 3:23 am #704544
Therfore, leave it home, all will be fine. Chill.October 11, 2010 4:00 am at 4:00 am #704545
New2, bring what you need for your peace of mind. Anybody who takes offense has problems.October 11, 2010 4:08 am at 4:08 am #704546
“most guys don’t forget money”
Guess again. Happened to me left his entire wallet at home. Since then I bring a clutch that holds a credit card, cash and my cell phone (which stays off).October 11, 2010 4:12 am at 4:12 am #704547
Cheapskate.October 11, 2010 4:32 am at 4:32 am #704548
Oh the dating stories I have…
Start posting them here:October 11, 2010 4:54 am at 4:54 am #704549
why would the guy think u don’t trust him? Who knows what u have in ur wristlet or purse? I would bring a little make-up, cell phone, and some other private things that r none of ne1’s business!October 11, 2010 7:19 am at 7:19 am #704550
I can only tryMember
I don’t understand the issue.
When “Mrs. Try” and I go out she brings her purse (sometimes a tiny one), containing her cell phone and usually some cash, keys, etc.
Why should a guy be insulted if his date (who doesn’t know him well) brings along her phone? If anything, it’s nice to have the insurance of a second phone (just in case his phone runs out of juice) and cash. I think it’s highly advisable that parents tell their daughters to bring a phone when going out.October 11, 2010 7:43 am at 7:43 am #704551
good.jew – um guys have ben known to forget their wallets at home. It doesn’t show a lack of trust, it shows common sense. I don’t know this guy from a hole in the wall, why should I assume anything about him?
One guy I dated, got into several near-accidents on the way home. He was just a really poor driver and I was terrified. If he had gotten into an accident, believe me I wasn’t going to hang around at the scene – I would have called a taxi and gone home myself, but couldn’t have done that without a cell and money.October 11, 2010 8:06 am at 8:06 am #704552
i bring my purse!
but i sit in, so it’s easier; i just stick my purse in the hall closet on the way in.
in the winter, though, i put a comb, lipgloss, my cell phone on silent/vibrate, a bus card, and sometimes money, although i usually don’t need that if i have a bus card, into the deep pockets of the winter coat.October 11, 2010 12:53 pm at 12:53 pm #704553
“One guy I dated, got into several near-accidents on the way home. He was just a really poor driver and I was terrified”
Same thing by me except he wasnt a bad driver I think he moonlighted as a NASCAR driver. We were going 90 on the Brooklyn Bridge weaving in an out of traffic I was sure we were going to end up in the river.October 11, 2010 4:08 pm at 4:08 pm #704554
I always strongly recommend she bring mace
Once again, MyFriend, you win the prize of the day for posting the funniest line! (not as funny as last week’s but close)October 11, 2010 5:57 pm at 5:57 pm #704555
“Which is why I always strongly recommend she bring mace”- Myfriend, yeah stick it in your purse….
But seriously, i dont see whats wrong with a purse. Where else should she put cash, phone ,Id…you never know what you’ll need…October 11, 2010 6:46 pm at 6:46 pm #704556
A girl should always have a few dollars, (credit card, bank card, something, anything), plus some ID, no matter what. Want to stick it in a pocket, shoe, purse, do whatever you want, but don’t leave home without it, no matter what date number it is.October 12, 2010 7:06 pm at 7:06 pm #704557
It is totally irresponsible for a girl to come on a date w/o
a purse, or some cash, cell phone (turned off) in case of emergency.
Guys are human too and can forget wallet or cell phone,
or battery dies etc.. use your imagination.
In case of emergency ones needs to be prepared.
Also on the rare occasion that the guy is a creep,
Especially for older singles, A woman should not leave herself
vulnerable, since she comes into his car she has to have some backup.
That doesn’t mean you ladies should bring half of your medicine
cabinet & closet on the date either. If the guy has to pop the trunk for your little purse, you might’ve overdone it.October 12, 2010 7:12 pm at 7:12 pm #704558
Sacrilege; I’m sorry, I usually remembered to bring my wallet.
pascha bchochma; I’m sorry, They came outta nowhere!October 12, 2010 8:59 pm at 8:59 pm #704559
Was that the actuary guy?October 12, 2010 9:02 pm at 9:02 pm #704560
No, it couldn’t have been. That time she did disturb (i.e. call) her dad.October 12, 2010 9:18 pm at 9:18 pm #704561
Thanks Squeak, I needed that laugh!
I know which post you’re referring to I was curious to know if it was the same guy but a different date.October 12, 2010 9:29 pm at 9:29 pm #704562
Different date? How many dates do you think that guy was worth? Less than 5, I’d think 🙂October 12, 2010 9:34 pm at 9:34 pm #704563
I think she didn’t even invite that guy in for coffee after the date.October 12, 2010 9:39 pm at 9:39 pm #704564
hey im lost here…can someone fill me in:) I need a laugh, it was a stressful day!October 12, 2010 9:48 pm at 9:48 pm #704565October 12, 2010 9:56 pm at 9:56 pm #704566
thanx doc! interesting post LOL
“It was posted before March 2nd 2010.”- yup i figured!October 12, 2010 10:59 pm at 10:59 pm #704567
A friend once relied on his date to bring her purse and made sure she had it when he picked her up.
“Well, just got my permit and I need someone with a valid license to be next to me.”
(They got married.)October 13, 2010 12:38 am at 12:38 am #704568
I was on my way to a Date once, forgot my wallet and had to go home and get it, was delayed an hour. Girls, I believe, should bring a small purse or wristlet, containing ID(if applicable), some form of monetary solution and a cell phone. Please put phone on silent. Unfortunately it has happened more than a few times where all of a sudden, Buzz or nice singsong(or not nice depending on who you ask)comes along. To me it shows a little immaturity. For most part I am OK with it, but when it happens more than once (on the same date) it’s a different story. 🙂 Hatzlacha to all.October 13, 2010 1:08 am at 1:08 am #704569
hadaLXTP; I’m happy to hear i wasn’t the only one to forget his wallet.
to be continued on the funny shidduch stories.
not so funny to me, maybe to the girl.October 14, 2010 2:12 am at 2:12 am #704570
This happened with the girl I dated the longest besides my wife. Please don’t get the wrong impression- she wasn’t insecure, she just had a great sense of humor.
She was from OOT and I went to her for the first few dates. On the first date we had a picnic so I brought bagels but it took a half hour until we could find a place to wash. On the second date I noticed that she seemed to have a big pocketbook and it was bulging, I kept on eyeing it wondering if she had brought everything including the kitchen sink along.
Eventually she noticed that I was looking at her pocketbook so she opened it, took out a large container of cookies and said “here, I made this for you for your long drive home.” It was so thoughtful and kind of her, but I got hungry and ate them all during the date. (Well not all, I did share them with her.)
OK, getting to the main part- a few dates later she told me that she was coming in to NY for the weekend and asked if we should go out in NY.
So I pick her up for the date and notice that she doesn’t have a pocketbook and I jokingly mentioned it. “Oh no, I can’t believe I forgot it, do you mind taking me back to my cousins so I can get it? Unless you can commit to not leaving me stranded no matter how the date goes.” I was laughing so hard since I wasn’t expecting that.
On the next date I was giving her a test to see if she remembered all the landmarks I pointed out on our previous date. At one point I asked her if she recognized where we were and she answered “oh, you’re leaving me here- good thing I brought my pocketbook this time.” We both had a good laugh.October 28, 2010 3:58 pm at 3:58 pm #704571
Was that the actuary guy? “
Sorry, I am first seeing this today – No it was not Actuary Guy. It was Cheap & Thoughtless Date Guy. And no, I did not call my dad – it was way too late to disturb him, if I had another safe way of getting home. Ironically, this was a shidduch for which I never gave my approval. The person who set us up, called to give me a heads up that the guy was calling because she already gave him my number. There were a number of very pertinent reasons why I would NEVER have accepted this guy as a shidduch possibility, had she spoken to me first. He was a few years younger than I (I was 23, so you do the math), his religious hashkafa was off the wall and very much to the Left, he had no job, was NOT interested in dating seriously, which at age 23 I most assuredly WAS, and he was just not a thoughtful person. But I believed strongly in not embarrassing someone who was trying to do me a favor, and I figured it’s just a couple of hours of my time, at worst. Every truly uncomfortable date I ever had, was the result of someone giving out my number without speaking to me first.
Oh yeah, and THAT’S why a girl should always carry a purse.October 28, 2010 4:04 pm at 4:04 pm #704572
I left you a link in the Limericks thread, I guess you missed it.
Thanks for clearing that up.October 29, 2010 2:20 am at 2:20 am #704573
Yes, I didn’t notice the link, only the rest of the post.
My pleasure, doctor.
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