moish01-
“you know what you had edited from that post of mine? was i at least right?”
-You’re right to an extent, but there are other extremely serious issurim involved.
These are questions you should probably not ask an unknown blogger on this or any other site.
I think it would be hugely helpful for you if you had someone trustworthy who you knew would never betray your confidence to speak to with questions and issues like these.
Your reluctance to be preached to is understandable – I am talking about individuals with whom you can talk honestly and be yourself.
We can all use a non-judgmental, sympathetic ear at times.