Pac-Man (and anyone else trying to keep count)-
The number isn’t as high as the stories imply but it is higher than it should have been (honesty in shidduchim is beyond the scope of this thread).
I’m not sure which one of these is worse than the other but since they get slightly intertwined at the end I’ll post them both and let my fellow posters vote on it.
#1 => It was obvious that the shadchan was senile (she told my parents that she knew we were for each other since I was R”L in college and her father was R”L a college graduate- yes she used those words!). Aside from the shadchan the girl sounded normal.
The girl lived a five hour drive away, and I have an aunt and uncle that live about an hour away from her but just a few minutes out of the way. Being that my grandparents were visiting at the time, I was planning on stopping by to visit after the date.
Since I was making good timing I decided to visit my grandparents on the way there and get ready for the date (instead of changing into a suit at a rest area).
My grandmother was soooooo relieved to see me- “the shadchan is going briogess (or whatever the word is), she’s trying to get in touch with you before you get to the girls house and your cell phone is off. The girl was so excited to go out with you that she called her Rebbatzin from seminary and told her all about you. The Rebbatzin said that since you are in college she should only go out with you as a last resort.”
I spent a nice afternoon taking my grandparents shopping.
#2 => (Pac-Man, don’t increase the counter for this one either since I already mentioned her in ==>this story<==.)
After our second date or so (and after I agreed to go out again) I found out that she had a boyfriend- thank you GOOGLE. I didn’t know (or care) what her involvment was (was he chasing her, did she like the attention…) The guy was someone that I knew but wasn’t that friendly with, although I did end up becoming closer friends with him since our wives are friends.
I tricked him into sending me an e-mail where he mentioned her (he said they were currently at Starbucks or B&N together), printed it up and left it in the glove compartment for her to find. (Did I mention that she was nosy?)
Sure enough she found it and read it. WOW, I wish I could have framed that expression!
“Really, you have to believe me, I have no idea who this guy is, I mean I have no idea where he even got my name from…”
“It’s fine”, I assured her, “I just wanted to make sure he made it all up”.
As you all can guess it was over after that.
Between college, yeshiva, teaching, waiting for her to do the dirty work (and coming up with an excuse for the shadchan) it did take a few days until I gave an answer.
In the interim the senile shadchan called back and said (not in these exact words) that the girl was getting desperate and her Rebbatzin said she could go out with me since it was a last resort. When my mother told her that I was busy, she suggested that maybe my brother would want to go out with her.
“Well if you think that my sons are looking for the same type of girl than you obviously don’t know them well enough to set them up!”
After hanging up she looked at me and said, “maybe she is senile afterall…”.
Epilouge:
Some time later, after the three of us (me, girl #2 and her other ex) were married, the six of us were invited to a wedding or sheva berachos that was seperate seating. As fate would have it us three men were seated at the misfit table, and I put my place card next to my friend while I went to wash. I came back to see that her husband was sitting in my seat. Grabbing the opportunity to see who knew what I said to him, “you’re not going to take my seat also, are you?”
He stood up politely and apologized, the other guy was laughing so hard he started to choke on the beer he was drinking.